Worst Video Game Couple of All Time: Sonic & Elise

Worst Couple of All Time: Sonic & Princess Elise Romance isn’t always the highest priority in video games, as such, it can sometimes end up in the backseat. Lately with franchises like Mass Effect and Witcher taking video game storytelling to the next level, romance and romance options have become great freatures in high profile games. But once upon a time the closest we’d get to romance was going to several wrong castles or chasing after a gang who punched a girl in the stomach and carried her off. Long story short, romance and comanionship in video games have come a long way and there are a lot of great couples in gaming. That being said, there are a fair share of couples that should definitely see other people, the worst offender being Sonic the Hedgehog and Princess Elise. Now, if you’re not familiar with Sonic 06... good. There is a reason its never gotten an HD re-release. But in case you’re curious, here’s the tl;dr version: Sonic 06 sucks. However, it’s greatest, most cringe inducing factor is it’s attempt at romance... and no, it’s not because of the whole hedgehog/human thing. Let’s be honest, this isn’t the first interspecies relationship. Such a pairing has actually been done well in the past and will continue to be a thing in pop culture as long as anthropomorphic creatures keep having likeable personalities. Also doesn’t hurt when they look like this guy. So... what’s really wrong with Sonic and Elise? For one thing, before any romance begins, we want to like the characters. Our favorite pairings are made up of characters WE actually enjoy spending time with. We want them to be functional with and without their partner, so character development is key when trying to create our soon to be “one true pairings”. Sonic is, generally, likeable. Unfortunately, Sonic 06 takes away everything that makes him great. The “way past cool” hedgehog who’s always looking for an adventure? The Sonic 06 version is a almost a new character -- though he tries to be fun, oh man, he tries... Then there’s Elise, whose primary role is to be rescued and fit in that “sheltered princess” trope. These princess characteristics have been used time and time again -- talk to Princess Peach and Disney for examples -- but what Peach and other princesses have that Elise doesn’t is, well, charm. There’s a sense of personality to them. Even if we’ve seen their story before, we like them as characters so we always come back for more. Elise is basically a cardboard cutout who follows the already paved steps of “damsel in distress,” so she’s boring to watch, with nothing there to like. There’s no chemistry between her and Sonic. Sonic is basically the one who shows Elise the ways of the world, and it’s supposed to be sweet (24:52), but you’re left with a feeling of, “I’ve seen this done better in so many other stories.” Their interactions are as follows: Elise needs to be saved, Sonic saves her, they talk, she gets kidnapped, Sonic saves her again, they talk. It’s too by the numbers, and it’s the only interaction these two have with one another. It leaves us feelinging frustrated because neither character is really learning from their time together... unless if you count that manufactured “smile” or “run” lesson. The best couples have a sense of balance, a sense of give and take. Link might have to save Zelda throughout the course of the Legend of Zelda franchise, but not only is there a connection between them, Zelda helps in any way she can throughout his journey. It doesn’t feel one-sided, more importantly, it doesn’t feel forced. Link wants to be there for Zelda, and Zelda believes in him even when he doesn’t believe in himself. That’s not something Sonic and Elise share. There’s one basic question to ask with any couple you come across: why are they so attached to each other? This is an especially vital question to pose for a character like Sonic who was created to be the anti-Mario. Saving princesses wasn’t his thing -- he was too cool for that. The few love interests he’s had ranges from a freedom fighting princess who was never in the games, and, for lack of a better word, a stalker he runs away from (19:48). To see Sonic interested in romance is already hard to believe, but it could work with the right character. And that assessment works both ways. The most infuriating thing about these two comes at the end of their story, because it turns out none of it matters. You spend the entire time watching this poor attempt at a love story, only to have it retconned by the end of the game. Sonic tells Elise to just smile before she blows out a time resetting candle, which restarts the events of the game -- minus the fiery big bad. Now the couple no longers knows who the other person is, and they go on with their lives. So then... what was the point? Unlike Link and Zelda, who themselves reset and change, Sonic and Elise will never see each other again, and what we end with with is effectily the most terrible part of an awful game, and the worst video game romance of all time.