Top 10 WTF Anime Storylines (ft. Todd Haberkorn)

“Mr. Tonegawa: Middle Management Blues” (2018)
As we’re all aware, a single tweet can mean the difference between life and death, even for a massive corporation like Teiai. After being informed that they’re getting roasted online, Tonegawa decides to fight back in the only way he can think of – perfect his twitter game until he’s got enough clout to match his anonymous nemesis.
He soon discovers that the perpetrator is actually the disgruntled former Teiai employee, Ebitani, who after getting caught is promptly thrown in a cage and forced to run the company twitter. Considering his boss is known for burning people alive as opposed to firing them, this is one war Tonegawa couldn’t afford to lose.

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#9: All of It...

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"The Qwaser of Stigmata" (2010-11)

We're sure that buried far beneath the central, perverted themes of this series, there exists the seedling of a decent enough action blockbuster. However, in order to find it you have to sit back and feast your eyes on a cross-dressing Russian boy name Sasha as he battles against the rather Perverse denizens of a prestigious academy. Thankfully, he's got a secret weapon - he gains inhuman powers whenever he drinks breast milk...which the female cast apparently have in abundance. Aaaaaaan I'm clocking out.

“Zombie Land Saga” (2018)
While we can’t argue with the results or the emotional complexity of its cast; who in the right mind thought that gathering the reanimated corpses of young idols to create a super-group in order to save a financially struggling prefecture was a good idea? Apparently this former make-up artist who in any other series would be facing a multitude of criminal charges.
The comedy and charm behind the show manages to outweigh the weirdness of his so-called masterplan, but seriously, what was this guy thinking? Do you know how easily this could have become Resident Evil Saga instead?

“Saint Young Men” (2013)
So the divine figures of Christianity and Buddhism share an apartment together. That’s not a joke, that’s the premise of the whole series, and it’s just as awesome as it sounds. While it presents itself as just your regular slice of life show, it’s still hard to get over how we’re watching the dude who turns water into wine and the enlightened one just go shopping in modern Japanese society. The whole thing is pretty uneventful, but just about the most wholesome thing you’ll ever watch.

“Gonna be the Twin-Tail!!” (2014)
While this isn’t the first gender-bending comedy that anime has ever thrown our way, it might just be the weirdest one due to its obsession with a certain hairstyle. You’ve got Standard Student A; resident protagonist and all around nice guy. Has a twintail fetish. He’s given the task of defending the planet from invading aliens, led by Generic Overlord B; resident antagonist who lives to conquer. Also has a twintail fetish.
Despite having all the tropes of a standard magical girl action romp, its unadulterated lust for hair always manages to add just the right amount of creepy to the mix.

“Midori Days” (2004)
It’s your classic love story. A shy girl pines for the misunderstood bad boy from afar, only to wake up one day and discover she has taken the place of his right hand.
I’m sorry what? Welp, the so called mad dog of Sakuradamon high finds himself robbed of his legendary right hook and instead has to go through his days with this new challenge.
Even without the obvious connotations, it’s still a little awkward to see this guy deal with love triangles and other social tightropes while developing feelings for the legless lady attaching to his wrist.

“Pokemon” (1997-)
Before the likes of Ryan Reynolds was inhabiting the body of a Pikachu, we had this little-head scratcher. After coming across a trainer well versed in magic (which already raises so many questions!) Ash gets himself transformed into the iconic electric mouse when a spell goes awry. The rest of the episode pretty much follows the standard formula, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that Ash spends the whole episode playing around as Pikachu clone, to the point where we expected him to reject his human ancestry and embrace his new Poke-existence.

“Umamusume: Pretty Derby” (2018)
It’s official; somebody’s anthropomorphic fetish managed to get itself an anime adaptation. I guess we should be thankful for small mercies that this series revolves around girls with horse attributes racing against each other, as opposed to them carrying a bunch of jockeys around and getting whipped. Don’t worry though, if you’ve been after that one series that balance the heartfelt dreams of its cast with the occasional squeezing of flanks by random strangers, then you’re in for a good time here. You heard it straight from the horse’s mouth.

“Naruto Shippuden” (2007-17)
If you’re ever in need of measuring just how low filler episodes can go in terms of quality, then look no further than the time Naruto and his buddies got their asses handed to them by a ninja ostrich. Look, we’re all good with giant frogs, sand demons and even a nine-tailed fox, because they at least have something to do with the main plot. We draw the line at some old-ass bird that serves no other purpose than to stagnate the series even further. And again, why an ostrich?!

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#1: A Samurai Coffee Machine Falls in Love with a Human Female

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“Coffee Samurai” (2009)
Well…points for creativity? It’s not everyday that a show decides to take the reincarnation trope in a direction that could only have come from downing way too much jitter juice. Following his harrowing death, a samurai wishes to be brought back in another life with a body of unbreakable steel…only for fate to dick him over by turning him into a coffee machine forced to battle other samurai who have been resurrected as equally confusing appliances. Can it get weirder? Of course it can. After a random girl pops a cup of joe out of him, the walking vendor becomes totally smitten, paving the way to a relationship that gets stranger the more you think about it.