Top 10 Worst Things Brian Griffin Has Done

When Stewie pays more attention to his teddy bear Rupert than to Brian, it drives the dog crazy. So much so that he chews Rupert to shreds in a drunken fit - causing a major rift between the iconic twosome. Later, Brian admits that he did it on purpose, out of jealousy… hardly a valid excuse for murdering his most prized companion and sole confidant. To Brian’s credit, he does earn Stewie’s trust back by helping him send off the departed bear, and secretly gives his friend a NEW Rupert. But it barely makes up for the dog’s petty behavior over a stuffed toy.

Even though Quagmire hates Brian’s guts, he takes it upon himself to pay for the dog’s teeth replacement surgery. With a new, dazzling smile, Brian lands a successful job as a real estate agent, and decides to ‘thank’ Quagmire by tricking him into buying horrible, run-down property, then avoiding him so that he can’t get out of his contract. It really says something when you’re more underhanded and malicious than a perverted sex-maniac - especially one that willingly helped you out when no one else bothered. It makes Quagmire’s hatred more sympathetic, and Brian’s comeuppance at the end well-deserved.

The only thing sadder than Brian’s writing career is his love life. When he manages to sleep with a pretty dame named Tori… she turns out to be married to a Navy Seal named Vic. Brian pretends to be their new pet dog so that he and Tori can continue their affair, and it seems like the perfect scam… until Vic catches wind that Tori’s cheating and chains Brian outside as a guard dog on the lookout. Thankfully, he never finds out that Brian is the scumbag, and once again, Stewie comes in to save his canine companion… even though he really doesn’t deserve it for going along with this sexcapade.

In yet another ongoing chapter of Brian’s failed love life, he hits it off with a blind woman named Kate. Unfortunately, and hilariously, she hates dogs, so Brian bends over backwards to hide what he really is, while also impressing her with fake feats during their dates. The ruse almost works… until he meets her parents - who have perfect vision - and is found out as both a dog and a liar. This could’ve been a good learning experience about honesty… if Brian didn’t decide in the end to trick her with a fake voice -once again exploiting her blindness and learning absolutely nothing.

In the appropriately titled episode “Brian’s a Bad Father”, Brian does very little to be a part of his estranged son Dylan’s life… until he learns that Dylan has a successful career on the Disney Channel. Unsurprisingly, Brian exploits Dylan’s connections to land himself a job on the show, makes all kinds of arrogant changes… and steals all the craft services food. Clearly, the episode’s title was being too generous, as Brian is barely a father at all – distancing himself from his own child until it seems like he can use him to further his writing career - which, let’s be real, is going nowhere fast.

Even before this episode, we’ve seen that Brian harbors romantic feelings for Lois - but he usually keeps it under control for the sake of his friendship with Peter. However, when Lois and Peter’s relationship is on the rocks, she and Brian start growing a little closer. It seems sweet… until Brian loses control and tries to force himself onto Lois. Thankfully, Lois is able to push him off before the situation can escalate, and he deeply regrets his actions, but that hardly changes the fact that he made a move on his best friend’s wife, and worse didn’t take “no” for an answer. And we thought Quagmire was bad!

Stewie and Brian are the show’s most developed duo. Stewie decides to cement that bond by performing a blood ritual with the dog. Brian agrees, only for Stewie to wake up with herpes… thanks to his so-called “blood brother”. Out of all the horrible things Brian has done to Stewie – belittling his creativity out of jealousy, treating him like dirt, or frightening him for fun - this is the most underhanded. He knew he was infected, but swapped blood with Stewie anyway. It turns out that he also gave Chris herpes, making him a repeat offender.

When Brian finds out that Stewie attends a rundown, unsafe daycare, he goes to give the negligent teacher a piece of his mind. Until he sees how attractive she is. He then spends the rest of the episode ignoring Stewie’s suffering and focusing on scoring a date with the teacher. In fact, he even goes so far as to keep Stewie from ratting her out after she dislocates his shoulder. Brian calls the police on her only after he finds out she has a boyfriend. So basically, he only does the right thing when he knows he can’t get what he wants. Why are he and Stewie friends again?

While on a rescue mission, Stewie gives Brian a gun and silencer to defend himself against a gang of kidnappers. While reluctant at first, Brian starts having a little too much fun with his firearm, comparing it to a video game. He manages to gun down a few grunts… and then shoots a waiter on another boat for literally NO reason other than to show off. It’s especially terrible with that cocky smile on his face as he pulls the trigger. And it was especially dumb since it was his last bullet, leaving him defenseless against the bad guys. Bad shooting, Tex.

Before we unveil Brian at his very worst, here are a few dishonorable mentions.

Framing His Co-Worker

Trying to Hook Up with Meg’s friend

Cheating on Rita

Hiding the Trophy

Encouraging Meg to Continue Being The Punching Bag

Brian’s definition of “heroism” . . . needs some work. As he explains how he got a hernia while performing an act of “incredible heroism”, we see him trying to rescue a pretty woman from drowning in her car. However, the minute the woman mentions she has a baby with her, Brian “accidentally” lets her car roll into the ocean - leaving the lady and her child to drown to death. While Brian was once considered the book smart voice of reason, he often seems to have devolved into a pretentious and selfish character with only his own interests at heart. Even when there are lives at stake! If that’s not despicable, then we’re not sure what is.