Top 10 Times Seinfeld Couldn't Keep a Straight Face
#10: Proposing to Elaine
“The Serenity Now” Jerry was never really in touch with his emotions. And we liked him that way. But when one of his girlfriends encourages him to openly manifest his inner frustrations, Jerry taps into all of his hidden feelings. This includes proclamations of love for George and a marriage proposal for Elaine. Granted, Seinfeld probably never signed up for any big dramatic moments at the show’s inception, and he does keep it together for a few doe-eyed moments. But as he goes to one knee, the smirk is unmistakable. It couldn’t have been easy to get this take, especially when George interrupts with typical George antics. Study Seinfeld’s face as George makes a clumsy exit, and you can see his struggle to remain the scene’s straight man.
#9: “But I Don’t Wanna Be a Pirate!”
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“The Puffy Shirt” The “puffy shirt” is such an icon that a miniature version was even sold along with the show’s Season Five and Six limited edition. After a dinner with Kramer’s frustratingly quiet girlfriend, Jerry unknowingly agrees to wear the “low talker”’s new fashion design. When he learns about the accidental contract, Jerry is none-too-happy. Kramer likens the outfit to that of a certain cool maritime folk, forcing Jerry to retort with the unforgettable plea: [“But I Don’t Wanna Be a Pirate!” ]. Speaking the line nearly breaks Seinfeld, as his curling lips betray the character’s supposed exasperation. The comedian may not have predicted how famous this line would be, but he clearly knew it was a banger.
#8: Kramer Is Hideous
“The Abstinence” We all know Kramer is a beautiful specimen. But turning his apartment into a smoking lounge has unfortunate consequences, which Jerry haplessly points out. Staring down his reflection in the toaster oven, Kramer is devastated. Michael Richards’ performance is undoubtedly hysterical. We dare anyone not to laugh at his flinching, stuttering, and spot-on delivery. So Jerry should count himself lucky to have had his back to the camera for most of this moment. However, when they cut back to him, you can see the materializing smile that’s determined to get a blooper. Pay particular attention to Seinfeld when Kramer exits, and you’ll see that he’s just about given up on looking serious.
#7: Odds Stacked Against Him
“The Contest” How long could you hold out? “The Contest” is a brilliant half hour of television that chronicles four friends’ risqué competition…described only in euphemisms. Farcical coincidences test each contender to the max, but a scantily dressed neighbor pushes Jerry to his breaking point. The line that makes Seinfeld crack is a mouthful that’s just too funny for him to catch a breath. He monologues about how isolation, a virgin girlfriend, and the eponymous contest are driving him to a breaking point. We wonder how many takes were necessary to get this delivery, especially when Kramer’s responsive pleas unearth another of Jerry’s boyish beams.
#6: Dropping the Mint
“The Junior Mint” It’s delicious! It’s very refreshing! It’s…life saving? Few Seinfeld fans can forget the dropping of the junior mint. In a time when operating theaters were still a thing, Jerry and Kramer sit in the audience for an unfortunate man’s splenectomy. Thanks to Jerry’s flailing arms, Kramer’s well-intentioned snack offer inadvertently ends up plummeting into the patient’s innards. Though the reaction shot may have you focused on Kramer, Jerry’s bumbling attempt at panicked concern is a treat to behold. Particularly when he mouths, “did it go in,” you’ll really notice Seinfeld almost cracking up. For extra laughs, you can check out the scene prior, when Seinfeld starts to lose while muttering a dastardly and reportedly improvised sentence.
#5: Breaking Sein
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“The Jimmy” You might not see this breakdown in the final cut, but it sure delayed production a bit and the story behind it makes it worthy of this list. A pre-Heisenberg Bryan Cranston was one day preparing for a scene as Seinfeld’s dentist, Tim Whatley. An offscreen crewmember recommendation prompted Cranston to improvise. During a scene in which Whatley was to administer anesthetic to Jerry, Cranston spontaneously “took a hit” of the nitrous oxide, before moving on. The real-life Whatley shared that he was able to make Seinfeld lose it, resulting in at least ten different attempts to get a cold-faced take. Even co-creator Larry David acknowledged the idea’s hilarity…though the most one can hope from him is a somber, “That’s funny. Do that again.”
#4: “Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That!”
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“The Outing” Oh, we love Jerry and his pre-millenium desire to be PC. This infamous episode sees George and Jerry mistaken for a gay couple by a young journalist. In their fruitless attempt to set her straight, they utter the Seinfeldian declaration that would go down in history. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” As their desperation elevates, George throws out an indecent proposal as his hail mary. It’s Jason Alexander’s frantic execution that makes Jerry’s expression fracture. Look away from George and to Seinfeld’s ear-to-ear grin, and you’ll never be able to unsee it. As the phrase gets repeated throughout the episode, Jerry seems closer and closer to letting out a reflexive laugh. With an inventive trope that’s this funny, there’s definitely not anything wrong with that.
#3: The Stalled Car
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“The Parking Garage” Much of “Seinfeld”’s brilliance lies in its ability to pack a lot of “somethings” into conceptual “nothings.” Adventures like “The Chinese Restaurant” and “The Parking Garage” enact this superbly. Here, we’re invested for a full thirty minutes as our offbeat cadre searches for their misplaced vehicle. Once finally found, the unreliable automobile declines to turn over while the despairing credits roll. This moment was unplanned, as the automobile actually stalled during filming. Though only eagle-eyed viewers will spot it in the TV footage, Seinfeld and his co-stars erupted with laughter. It’s one of the most well known moments in “Seinfeld” lore, made even better when you know that a bit, a blooper, and a real-life character break all merged at the nexus of comedy.
#2: Jerry Becomes Kramer
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“The Chicken Roaster” When a blazing red neon sign robs Kramer of sleep, he and Jerry agree to switch apartments. The changeup forces the neighbors into a Freaky Friday’ situation. They swap personalities, with Kramer manifesting Jerry’s refrained sarcasm and Jerry becoming possessed by Kramer’s manic effervescence. The supernatural nightmare becomes most clear during Jerry’s first cross-hallway visit. Seinfeld throws his all into the rapid speech, signature hand gestures, and trademarked “giddyup” as he impersonates Michael Richards. He must be having a great time, since he’s wearing an ice-cream-eating grin the entire time. In hindsight, Seinfeld doesn’t even need a straight face to make the joke work. He just genuinely radiates a jubilant display of comedy’s purest form of flattery.
#1: Bookman’s Interrogation
“The Library” We miss you, Phillip Baker Hall. Jerry Seinfeld always remembered this fateful interrogation by Baker Hall’s overzealous library cop, admitting that it took at least eight takes to get it in the can. Aptly named “Bookman,” the investigative police officer grills Jerry over a library checkout that hadn’t been returned since 1971. Hall’s deadly serious commitment to such a zany premise sells each line with Shakespearean gusto. How could anyone not love him? The magic of editing can often cover up unintentional laughter. But if you pay attention to the cuts in this scene, it’s unlikely that you’ll find one frame without a Seinfeld smile. When your comedic opposite is that uproarious, we guess this is the best you can do.
