Top 10 Worst Things The Seinfeld Friends Have Done
Seeing as how the “Seinfeld” gang ended up in jail for their actions, they've done some pretty bad things. For this list, we’ll be looking at the most messed up misdeeds Jerry, George, Elaine, or Kramer committed either individually or collectively. Our countdown includes Elaine breaking off an engagement, George knocking over people to escape a fire, all of them laughing at an active crime, and more! What do you think is the worst thing any of these characters did? Let us know in the comments!
#10: Making Jerry Make a Phony Emergency Call
“The Nap”
George Costanza was so committed to laziness that he once converted his desk in his Yankee Stadium office into the perfect napping space. Things go great until his boss, Mr. Steinbrenner enters and waits for George to show up. While George could have just fessed up, we know that’s not the Costanza way. He instead opted to phone a friend while trapped under his desk. After asking Jerry to lie about a violent threat to get Steinbrenner out, George’s plan backfires tremendously. He ultimately ends up even closer to his boss and eventually loses his beloved desk bed. We understand that the lazy George wanted a comfy napping spot, but faking a serious threat is a little too far to go for comfort.
#9: Taking a Dog
“The Engagement”
Elaine is not shy about showing her frustration with others. Not only does she have trouble getting humans to listen to her, but she has a strained relationship with animals. When a neighbor’s incessantly barking dog robs her of sleep, Elaine takes drastic measures. She asks for Kramer and Newman to help, ahem, relocate the canine. While the dog makes it back safe and sound, the culprits aren't so lucky. Elaine, Newman, and Kramer are all charged with crimes against man’s best friend. Even she has to concede that she’s not exactly going down the right path. She’s doggone right there.
#8: Breaking off an Engagement
“The Little Jerry”
When Elaine starts dating Kurt, a man with a shaved head, she shows just how shallow she could be. She urges him to grow out his hair after seeing an old photo. Unfortunately, it’s revealed that he’s going bald. Despite this concern, Elaine initially accepts his marriage proposal. But everything changes after a mixup and his shaven head gets him mistaken for George. Upset about his balding condition, Kurt gets into an altercation with a cop and is put in prison for 10-14 months. Upon realizing he'll be fully bald when he gets out, Elaine breaks off the engagement right on the spot. Did she really have to kick him so badly about his biggest insecurity when he was already down?
#7: Faking a Medical Condition
“The Butter Shave”
George will go to some truly despicable places to exploit even the smallest loophole. While he is temporarily relying on a cane, he interviews with a company called Play Now. After executives assume George has a physical disability, they make him a formal offer complete with his own restroom. He only further commits to the lie after getting into an accident with his other leg. After Play gives George a motorized scooter, his hubris finally gets the best of him and he’s left both exposed and humiliated. He definitely deserved to be embarrassed for lying about physical disabilities for so long. Luckily, karma hits hard and fast in the “Seinfeld” universe.
#6: Mugging an Old Lady
“The Rye”
While Jerry tends to be a little more level-headed than some of his friends, he’s not above going as low as they do. After feeling slighted by Susan’s parents, George’s folks secretly take back a marble rye they had already gifted. This leaves Costanza and Jerry racing to replace it before anyone notices it’s gone. Unfortunately, an older woman at the bakery gets the last marble rye. After Jerry pleads and even offers to pay double what it's worth, he opts to wrestle it out of her arms and dash off. We’ve heard of “fly-fishing” but not “rye-fishing.” But no matter what you call his crime, it didn’t pay off. The scheme is ultimately exposed and the theft turns out to be all for nothing.
#5: Buying a Faulty Wheelchair
“The Handicap Spot”
After Kramer urges George to park in a space reserved for people with physical disabilities, a woman in a wheelchair who needed the space is injured. Normally, you’d expect them both to get distance from the victim. However, Kramer meets and falls for the woman that got hurt. He even resolves to get her a new wheelchair. While this is a noble gesture in theory, the execution was terrible because Kramer and George purchased a wheelchair with bad brakes. She predictably gets into another accident and rightly breaks things off with him. While George deserves blame for listening to his friend, Kramer deserves more blame for putting this chain of events into motion.
#4: Laughing at an Active Crime
“The Finale”
In the show’s final installment, we were reminded that the four main characters are a problem both individually and as a group. When they witness a man being held up, they don’t assist or call for help. Instead, they make a mockery out of him. But the joke's soon on them. By making fun of him instead of helping, they violated a local law. When they're made to stand trial for this crime, a number of people the group has burned testify against them and confirm they’re not great people. This trial is a great summary of all the terrible crimes they’ve gotten away with over the years. After everything they've done, a year in prison was a more than fair sentence.
#3: Knocking People Over to Escape A Fire
“The Fire”
In pretty much any given situation, the first person George thinks about is himself. That means he’s the last person you’d want to have around in an emergency. When a fire breaks out at a birthday party for his girlfriend’s son, George panics. He knocks over children, a birthday clown, and even his girlfriend’s grandmother on his way to the exit. George’s actions made an already dangerous situation even more unsafe. But to make matters worse, he also has the nerve to act like he was being noble instead of cowardly. A firefighter from the episode thankfully said what we were all thinking.“How do you live with yourself?”
#2: Making His Girlfriend Sleepy to Play With Her Toys
“The Merv Griffin Show”
While Jerry has made mistakes with his many girlfriends over the course of the show, he arguably treated Celia the worst. When he discovers she has a classic toy collection, he’s crushed that he can’t play with them. But he doesn’t do the adult thing and accepts it. Instead, Jerry comes up with various ways to make Celia drowsy with everything from pain relievers to turkey dinners. While she’s knocked out, he and eventually George and Elaine all play with the toys. Although it's played for laughs, this drowsy scheme is extremely problematic. Fortunately, Kramer makes sure Celia puts a stop to Jerry’s immature and horrible behavior.
Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
Making Someone Sick, “The Apology”
She Intentionally Spreads Germs to a Coworker to Get Revenge
Not Giving Mouth-to-Mouth, “The Pool Guy”
In a Life-or-Death Situation, Jerry isn’t Exactly Noble
Burning Down a Cabin, “The Bubble Boy”
Being Careless With a Cigar Has Major Consequences
Digging Up a Grave,“The Strongbox”
After Kramer Accidentally Causes the Death of a Parrot, Jerry Defiles the Bird’s Grave
Buying Art From Someone He Thinks Will Die Soon “The Junior Mint” (1993)
George Clearly Cares More About Money Than the Value of Human Life
#1: Being Responsible for His Fianceé’s Death
“The Invitations”
With the date of his wedding to Susan fast approaching, George schemes to find a way out of the engagement without addressing the issue head-on. But the ceremony is canceled due to Susan’s untimely passing. The culprit? Well, it turns out that George opted to buy cheap wedding invitations that happened to have a toxic adhesive. Susan expires after licking too many notices for her special day. While this was an unfortunate accident, it wouldn’t have happened if George wasn’t so cheap or if he handled the wedding situation with maturity. And he further makes himself look bad by not being sad over the news. Unsurprisingly, his friends aren’t that devastated either. We’re still shocked that George and “Seinfeld” went this far.