Top 10 Worst Things About Going To Hogwarts
Top 10 Things That Would Suck About Going to Hogwarts
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Maybe Hogwarts isn’t as fun and magical as it seems. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Things That Would Suck About Going to Hogwarts. For this list, we’ll be looking at all the frustrating and dangerous things that children are forced to deal with while attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We’ll also be considering both the novels and films.
#10: The Nonsensical Point System
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Let’s be honest, no one really cares about the house cup except for the youngest students. But it must be really discouraging to see the blatant corruption plaguing Hogwarts as an eleven-year-old. Teachers can seemingly just give and take an arbitrary amount of points at their leisure, and absolutely nothing is stopping them from showing favoritism towards their own house (*cough* Snape *cough*). Hermione so much as sneezed in Potions class? Fifty points from Gryffindor! Draco’s hair is nicely combed? One hundred points to Slytherin! Not to mention these points are all utterly worthless if Dumbledore can just up and manipulate the results on his own personal whim. Is this school biased much, or what?
#9: The Stupid Staircases
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Now honestly, what is the point of having magical staircases that actively troll the students? In the movies, the staircases literally shift to other locations throughout the school. And the books mention that the stairs lead to different places on different days. There’s at least one step that literally traps people if they happen to step on it. How annoying would that be? Imagine being late for a class and having the staircase deposit you on the other side of the castle. Or maybe you just wanted to head back to the dormitory after a long day only to get sucked into the stairs! These people are wizards, can’t they fix this?
#8: Moaning Myrtle
There’s no privacy in Hogwarts. Like, at all. For one thing, ghosts roam the halls at their leisure and can seemingly pop up anywhere at any time. There you are, enjoying a lovely meal in peace when a partially decapitated ghost decides to pop in and show you his gruesome neck hole. And if you think the bathrooms are safe, think again. Moaning Myrtle can travel between washrooms and quite literally watches people while they’re using the bath (and who knows what else). And when she’s not spying on you from a distance, she’s persistently hitting on you despite your visible discomfort. We do feel bad for her, but honestly, it’s no wonder no one likes her.
#7: There’s Only ONE Sport
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Most schools pride themselves on their extracurriculars and sports teams. Hogwarts has…uh…Quidditch. We hope you like it, because it’s literally your only choice! You don’t like the sport that doesn’t really make sense, has a bizarre points system, can last weeks, and is played in raging storms? Too bad. You don’t want to play a sport where you risk having your face caved in by a bludger? Suck it up! You’re bad at flying brooms like Hermione but desperately want to be involved in the school’s only sporting event? Guess you have to watch and cheer from the stands like all the other losers! Surely Hogwarts could conjure up a magical version of football or something?
#6: Having to Choose Between Awesome Electives
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Just imagine being Harry Potter. You lived eleven years in the muggle world and suddenly you’re transported to this magical land that is quite literally full of fantastical possibilities. No doubt, you’d want to learn and do everything the school has to offer. You’d be out of luck though, forced to miss out on all those awesome electives thanks to scheduling conflicts. This is acknowledged in “Prisoner of Azkaban” when Hermione manipulates time and space itself to attend all her classes because some of them overlap. This is often a problem in real life, but then you’re only missing out on history, or economics. At Hogwarts, we’re talking literal magic!
#5: Owl Droppings for Breakfast
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Whose idea was it to have owl delivery happen during breakfast!? Owls deliver parcels to the students in the Great Hall while they’re eating their morning meal, which probably means lots of owl poop in their plates of eggs and sausages. Imagine – it’s your first morning at Hogwarts, you’re basking in all the magic and plentiful food when an owl swoops by with a deafening screech and craps in your cereal. Welcome to Hogwarts! And don’t say “they used a spell to deflect owl poop” or whatever, because Arthur mentions that the Ministry had to stop using owls due to the mess. If the freaking Ministry of Magic couldn’t prevent it, Hogwarts certainly can’t!
#4: Incredibly Dangerous Animals (& Trees!) Are Everywhere
We seriously doubt that Hogwarts would pass health and safety inspections, because damn. Let’s see here, a giant snake that can kill people with a mere glance lives in the basement and slithers through the pipes. A giant spider and his army of minions live in the dangerous forest just off school grounds. A massive three-headed dog was kept in a room protected by a simple lock that a first year student managed to crack. Hagrid regularly introduces the children to dangerous creatures that can maim and kill students. Good luck enjoying a simple walk on the grounds when a TREE might splatter you with its gigantic branches!
#3: Adjusting to Medieval Technology
Going to Hogwarts would require a MAJOR lifestyle change, particularly in the modern era. The wizarding world has very few modern technological conveniences, and attending Hogwarts is like living in a Medieval castle for ten months of the year. Imagine being a student like Harry or Hermione who live in the modern muggle world and enjoy things like smartphones, TV, and Google. But then you go off to school and you’re forced to write with a quill, communicate by owl, and go to the library and actually read books for research. We’d give it two days before the smartphones were smuggled in...
#2: The Sorting
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The idea behind sorting students is kind of cool we guess, but honestly, how restricting would that actually be? The students would descend into baseless prejudices and discrimination in no time at all! Forget human complexity - you’re sorted based on just a few character traits. What if you’re brave, patient, creative, AND entirely self-serving!? The Sorting Hat would implode! It also encourages some serious groupthink. And God help you if you’re ambitious, shrewd, and a strong leader, because there’s a good chance you’ll be sorted into Slytherin and viewed by most other students as a budding pure-blood supremacist. When even the school’s own faculty shows prejudice towards houses, you know there’s a serious problem… Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. The Caretaker Is Creepy No Math or English Classes Every Student Is Carrying a Deadly Weapon Being in the Same Year as Harry Harmful Books
#1: Constantly Changing (and Terrible) Teachers
You shouldn’t grow to love the professors at Hogwarts, because who knows where they’ll be next year? The biggest example of this is easily Defensive Against the Dark Arts classes. As you all know, Harry had six different DADA professors during his time at Hogwarts. Filling that position were several employees who scared, or even actively harmed, the students. Which brings up Hogwarts’ terrible screening and hiring practices! They hire a cowardly fraud, a Death Eater using basic Polyjuice Potion, a sadistic tyrant, and oh yeah, a man with the Dark Lord on his head! Maybe it’s not such a great school after all.
