Top 10 WORST Movie Action Figures
#10: Dennis Nedry
“Jurassic Park” (1993) “Jurassic Park” is full of iconic characters with immediately recognizable outfits. Ian Malcolm, Alan Grant, and Ellie Sattler were all a big part of the first film’s success with each returning for later installments. One character who entered the film as quickly as he exited was Dennis Nedry, a computer programmer portrayed by “Seinfeld” actor Wayne Knight. Nonetheless, a Dennis figure was made, although we wouldn’t have been able to tell that without his name on the box. The toy strangely makes the character into a typical action hero, not resembling Knight or his character’s wardrobe. According to the product description, the figure comes with “tranq-spray gun” and “dino-damage arm.” What that means is anyone's guess. We just wanted a shaving cream accessory!
#9: Farmer Luke
“Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope” (1977) It’s hard to say which film franchise has the most merchandise associated with it, but we’re pretty sure “Star Wars” would make the top ten. The franchise’s action-packed lightsaber battles and unique spaceships make tie-in toys a no-brainer. But other parts of the franchise are a little … less marketable. Take, for example, Luke Skywalker’s days as a moisture farmer. A pretty boring era in the “Star Wars” protagonist’s life - and yet, there’s a toy for that! The 30th-anniversary farmer Luke toy comes with a moisture-farming machine bigger than the character. It also comes with a lightsaber, which doesn’t make sense, but we’re not sure any kid would have bought it otherwise.
#8: Various
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“Hook” (1991) Titles like “E.T.,” “Jaws,” and “Jurassic Park” have made director Steven Spielberg a household name. Lesser-known, but still beloved by audiences, is his 1991 interpretation of Peter Pan called “Hook.” The toys that spawned from this film are… less beloved. By fans or anyone else. Although the toy lines made were official and had to have been approved by someone, they look more like cheap knock-offs. The film’s logo is given excess design elements on the figures’ cardboard backers, and the characters themselves look nothing like the actors who portray them. It’s unclear just why these toys are so bad, but given how protective star Robin Williams was of his image, it’s unlikely that we’ll be seeing better ones any time soon.
#7: NECA Roy Burns
“Friday the 13th: A New Beginning” (1985) The fifth installment of “Friday the 13th,” “A New Beginning” introduced audiences to Roy Burns, a father who went insane and began a killing spree inspired by the series' usual killer, Jason Voorhees. The character and film were maligned by many critics, and received a mixed to poor reaction from fans. Nonetheless, a NECA action figure actually exists of the character - and it’s pretty high-quality! The figure has an incredibly detailed face, his version of Jason’s signature hockey mask, and an arsenal of miniature weapons. It’s the ideal gift for any completionist fan begrudgingly collecting every iteration of the franchise’s masked killer. That said, we can’t help but be a little insulted that so much effort went into the toy for such a reviled character.
#6: Bob the Goon
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“Batman” (1989) Side characters never really get the respect they deserve. More often than not, the heroes and villains of superhero films will get multiple toys made of themselves while henchmen, friends, and even love interests are left with no action figure representation. This was surprisingly not the case for Tim Burton’s “Batman,” for which a toy was made of the Joker’s goon, Bob. Unfortunately, Bob may have been wishing he was left out of this particular toy line. Although the cardboard backing card features a cool, mostly accurate illustration of the character, the figure itself leaves a lot to be desired. His hair doesn’t quite cover his head, his eyes are expressionless dots, and his wrinkles are plentiful.
#5: Chain Attack Ghost Rider
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“Ghost Rider” (2007) Superhero films and action figures go hand-in-hand - so much so that tie-in toys are made even when a movie is universally disliked by fans and critics alike. In the case of “Ghost Rider,” the film’s quality was a perfect match for its strange, awkward toys. Now, we’re not saying all “Ghost Rider” toys are bad, but Hasbro’s Chain Attack action figure is certainly one of the worst. The head sculpt looks more like a bored David Schwimmer than it does the film’s star, Nicolas Cage, and it’s comically dwarfed by the figure’s giant arms and shoulders. Luckily the toy comes with an interchangeable head, so you can swap out the regular Johnny Blaze for the considerably better flaming “Ghost Rider” skull.
#4: Atari Leatherface
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“The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” (1974) Have you ever wanted to own a figure of Leatherface who was ready for St. Patrick’s Day? If so, you’re in luck! NECA has just the right figure for you. The iconic antagonist from “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” was painted to match his Atari video game counterpart - or, at least, that was the intention. The Atari Leatherface is super simplistic, with a tan face, solid-colored body, and black shoes - but he’s more often shown wearing blue rather than green. In addition to the strange Leatherface, NECA also made Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger into their video game likenesses. They use similarly limited color palettes, but are still leagues better than the Hulk-colored Leatherface, who likely only appeals to completionist collectors.
#3: The Meat
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“Rocky” (1976) “Rocky” is one of the most well-known and celebrated sports dramas of all time. The original film has inspired several sequels and was selected for the United States National Film Registry. A movie with that kind of impact unsurprisingly has a pretty substantial merchandise line featuring shirts, boxing gloves, and even action figures. Although an action figure of Rocky himself is a given, you may be surprised to learn that his favorite sparring partner was also given a figure - and we’re not talking about Apollo Creed. For some reason, the slab of meat Rocky uses to practice with was actually given its own action figure. Sold separately from any actual character! It’s definitely one of the most baffling movie tie-in toys ever made.
#2: Big Bite Fred
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“The Flintstones” (1994) Did you know there was a live-action “Flintstones” movie in the 90’s? Its stars would probably prefer it if you forgot. Not only was the film panned by critics, but it also inspired a pretty questionable line of tie-in toys. One of those toys was “Big Bite Fred,” an action figure whose main action was to eat. In order to play with the toy, made in the likeness of John Goodman, you had to place food into his hand and lift a lever on his body. This lever then caused Fred to unhinge his jaw, revealing a comically large mouth to consume the prehistoric food items.
#1: Jorg Sacul
“Star Wars” franchise (1977-) The “Star Wars'' franchise is full of silly names. A character named Droopy McCool is seen playing music for Jabba the Hutt, Savage Opress is said to be Darth Maul’s brother, and Elan Sleazebaggano is, well, a sleazebag! Few names in the universe feel quite as lazy as Jorg Sacul, however. This character, based on creator George Lucas, was turned into a toy and given out at the second major “Star Wars” convention, “Celebration II.” In case you haven’t caught on, “Jorg” is just a misspelling of “George,” and “Sacul,” just “Lucas” backwards. The toy’s head does resemble Lucas, but the body appears to just be recycled from other “Star Wars” figures. Did you have a favorite (or least favorite) movie tie-in toy growing up? Tell us about it in the comments!
