Top 10 Weirdest Versions of Spiderman
#10: Arachnosaur
When you think of “alternate versions” of Peter Parker, you might think of one with a different colored suit or maybe from another time period. But what if our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man was also part dinosaur? There’s a universe where the webhead being part dinosaur is normal because other heroes are also anthropomorphic reptiles. What makes this roaring Spider-man more notable is that he has all the typical wall-crawling powers and is a member of the Fantastic Five. While his appearances have been brief in the comics, his design would surprise you.
#9: Fairy Tale Spider-Man
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Since Spider-Man is such a modern superhero who relies on swinging from tall buildings to get around, you would be hard-pressed to think of how he would fare in a more medieval setting. But apparently, Peter Parker from Earth-71004 is doing quite well! Also dubbed as the “Prince of Arachne”', this medieval-themed Spider-Man aims to marry Princess Gwendolyn. However, he has to deal with his adoptive father Norman Osborn. And did we mention this version of Peter doesn’t possess any of his traditional spider-themed superpowers? The only similarities tend to be his design and the characters. If anything, this Peter seems like a weird medieval rip-off of the original.
#8: Spiders-Man
Who knew adding one letter to his name could change so much? Well, admittedly there were also lots of spiders involved. Instead of being bitten by a single radioactive spider, this version of Peter Parker fell into a massive colony of them. This horrifying process caused the arachnids to form a hive mind that absorbed Parker’s consciousness. As a result, they all united to put on the costume and began fighting crime as “Spiders-Man.” We were almost ready to accept this bizarre hero…until we realized this creepy and nearly literal webhead liked to snack on humans. Honestly, we’re okay not spending a lot of time with this strange and skin crawling concept. But we do wonder if he’d get along with “Rick & Morty’s” Million ants.
#7: Spider-Monkey
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Marvel seems to have a weird obsession with making different animal-themed versions of the legendary Spider-Man. Admittedly, Spider-Cat is a pretty adorable addition to the legions of Spider-Men. (xref) But “Spider-Monkey” is definitely weirder. He comes from a “Marvel Apes” universe that is made up entirely of simian versions of Marvel’s cast of characters. Unlike most versions of Peter, Spider-Monkey’s much more egotistical. He also doesn’t shy away eliminating his enemies if they disagree with his moral code. Surprisingly, Spider-Monkey had stunning character development and became more heroic over time.
#6: The Webslinger
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When the “Shaper of Worlds” created a medieval counterpart of Earth called “Eurth” with a u, many of Marvel’s iconic superhero and villain gallery looked a lot different than usual. But the hero that got the most horrifying transformation was Spider-man. In this world, a boy was magically granted arachnid based powers on the condition he never use them to benefit himself. After he channeled his abilities to save his uncle, his body was warped into a monstrous human spider form. Despite being a good guy, he certainly doesn’t look like a friendly neighborhood wall-crawler. We don’t think we’d run into this magically altered hero’s arms if he came around to help us.
#5: Golden Spongecake Spider-Man
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What do you get when you mix Marvel heroes with the Hostess brand? Something weird, wonderful, and sweet. Peter Parker of Earth-51914 exists within an ad campaign from the Hostess brand cakes. This hero goes around fighting crime with the gift of glorious pastries. If he or his loved ones are captured by villains, he can use snack cakes to get out of the tense situation. He can even take down the “Twinkie Takers” with more Twinkies! While this Peter has Spider-Man powers, his unlimited array of Golden Sponge Cakes are his real weapons. You’ll love laughing at Peter for being weirdly obsessed with Hostess products. But be warned…you will crave a Twinkie after reading.
#4: Man-Spider
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We’ve mainly covered Spider-Men that are different because of their actual realities. However, this Peter’s weird because of how normal he first was. Our web-head went through the usual stuff: got bit by a spider, lost an uncle and suited up to fight crime. But along the way, something goes wrong and he progressively turns more into a giant, terrifying Man-Spider. This frightening mutated being is much more savage and dangerous than Spider-Man ever was. He can also spit acid and give other heroes a run for their money. Luckily, Peter was cured and returned to normal. But he’d always be haunted by the knowledge that he became this bizarre monster.
#3: Japanese Spider-Man
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If you ever wondered what Spider-Man would be like if he joined a power rangers team, we have the series for you. In 1978, we were introduced to Takuya Yamashiro. After getting empowered by a resident of Planet Spider, this motocross expert fights crime as Spider-man. This version of the webhead has tons of weird adventures and an unbelievable arsenal. On top of having great vehicles at his disposal, he also has a giant mecha to battle titan-sized monsters when they appear. While parts of Yamashiro’s story are strange, the way his show combined a traditional Marvel superhero with super sentai charm made him a brilliant Spider-man variant to watch.
#2: Italian Spiderman
Imagine if Spider-Man didn’t wear a mask, had an incredible mustache, and was a James Bond-esque secret agent. Your bizarrely specific thoughts came to life in a 2007 Australian film that poked fun at older Italian action films. During his short adventures, this Spider-Man performs many fantastic but not exactly extraordinary feats. He also shoots his enemies, summons penguins to defeat the bad guys, and teleports around beating up misogynists. This Spider-man’s strongest power is that he doesn’t even have to obey laws of physics. While this is far from an official version of Spider-Man, this outrageous parody couldn’t be ignored.
#1: Spider-Ham
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While there might be plenty of animal versions of the legendary Spider-Man, none are as odd as this hog. Instead of being bitten by a special arachnid, this variant started his life as a spider that was bitten by a radioactive pig. He then convinced May Porker to adopt him and embraced the new identity of Peter Porker. It was bizarre enough that he kept his spider abilities while appearing to be a pig. But to make matters weirder, several versions of the character have Looney Tunes-esque powers. Although Spider-Ham is certifiably strange, he’s made more than a few notable appearances in animation and movies. It’s weirdly uplifting to see that his wacky nature hasn’t stopped him from achieving a lot.
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