Top 10 Times Peter Griffin Said What We Were All Thinking
#10: Misleading Studio Logos
“Friends of Peter G” Just getting to the feature presentation can make sitting in a movie theater feel like a marathon. After a pre-film reel and like 20 minutes of trailers, is it time to finally get the movie started? Nope! As Peter points out, just when it seems like the film is about to commence, you have to sit through several studio logos. This doesn’t sound too bad, but the logos possess such a cinematic quality that for a hot second, you might assume that they’re part of the film’s narrative. Peter encapsulates all of our grievances as the logos set the mood for one thing, only to pull the rug out from under us. This is why more and more people are streaming their movies at home.
#9: Winter Coat Mementos
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“The Griffin Winter Games” Those who live in perpetually freezing temperatures might wear their heavy jackets for 12 straight months. For people outside of Canada, though, the winter coat usually goes back into the closet after about three months. Most people don’t bother checking their pockets before putting their coats away, meaning they’ll find a few surprises when the temperatures drop again. Some of the items that Peter finds in his pockets are bizarrely specific. However, we’ve all come across old items like loose change, stale candy, dental appointment cards, and movie ticket stubs. Depending on just how long it’s been since you’ve bundled up, you might find printed-out MapQuest directions like Peter. Even the most mundane form of nostalgia still fills us with such joy.
#8: Time to Drop the Kids Off at the Pool?
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“I Dream of Jesus” Most people wouldn’t discuss it around the dinner table, but we can all identify with Peter’s internal struggle. Guests are about to arrive when suddenly, nature calls. If it’s Number One, you should be able to pop in and out of the bathroom with time to spare. If it’s Number Two, you may have a problem. Is there enough time to do your business, clean up, and spray air freshener so nobody is the wiser? The longer you think about it, the less time you have. Peter is about to go for it when the dreaded doorbell rings, meaning he’ll have to contain himself for the next few hours. What’s worse, it’s a dinner party, so Peter must pile one meal on top of another.
#7: What’s the Appeal of Bowling Alleys?
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“Peter Problems” Some only go to bowling alleys for special occasions like birthdays. For others, the bowling alley is part of a weekly ritual where you hang out with friends or maybe even play in a professional league. This cutaway joke ponders, why? Why do people view the bowling alley as a fun habitat for socializing? Working at the Bowlarama, Peter lists off all the inconveniences that the bowling alley brings, such as the questionably designed balls, unclean arcade machines, noisy teenagers, and a complete disregard for the establishment’s own “no smoking” policy. Peter flat-out calls it terrible, but he says it with such a chipper attitude. Bowling alleys shouldn’t be appealing to us, but for some reason, they are.
#6: Gay Marriage
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“You May Now Kiss the... Uh... Guy Who Receives” As Brian’s cousin aspires to marry his boyfriend, Lois expresses reservations. Lois doesn’t hate gay people, but she fears jeopardizing the quote-unquote “sanctity of marriage.” Straight or gay, exactly how “sacred” is marriage? A lot of opposite-sex and same-sex marriages end in divorce. Even the couples who stay together aren’t always that happy. Lois knows deep down that she didn’t hit the jackpot with Peter, but her husband does impart wisdom in this instance. If LGBTQ+ people want to get hitched, let them! Many will realize marriage isn’t as rosy as it’s cracked up to be, descending into misery along with all the straight couples bonded by the chains of matrimony. In a rare role reversal, Peter is the most open-minded person in the room.
#5: Life Is a Terrible Thing
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“Trading Places” Who has it worse, the kids who have to deal with the stress of schoolwork and peer pressure or parents who need to work long hours to provide suitable living conditions for the family? By switching places, the Griffins find that none of them have it easy. Peter and Lois are harassed by teenagers while Chris is overworked to the point of having a heart attack. As the family reflects on their experiences, Peter delivers a few heartfelt words. And by heartfelt, we mean painstakingly true. Whether you’re a kid or an adult, life is cruel to all of us and things never get any better. It’s a harsh lesson, but one that virtually any age group can identify with.
#4: Ballpark Food
“Scammed Yankees” Peanuts and Cracker Jacks are intertwined with the ballpark experience. So much so that they’re mentioned in the unofficial baseball anthem. The song leaves out the grim reality of ballpark food, however. While we’d enjoy a tall beer to go with the game, they always fill the cup up so high that spilling is inevitable. The hotdog-to-bun ratio is never equally proportioned. It’s also safe to assume that creating a sanitary eating environment wasn’t at the top of anybody’s priorities. Besides, has literally anyone ever ordered a bag of peanuts outside of a ballpark? Peter would be better off getting food from one of the trucks parked outside of the stadium. On second thought, food trucks have their drawbacks as well.
#3: The Confusing Narration of “How I Met Your Mother”
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“420” What starts as an anti-drug ad deteriorates into a rant about “Harold & Kumar,” which leads to Peter rambling about “How I Met Your Mother.” Peter’s ad doesn’t make us want to say no to pot, but he does bring up some valid points about the sitcom. Josh Radnor plays protagonist Ted Mosby while Bob Saget provides narration as an older Ted reflecting on his 20s and 30s. But Ted is already grown up. So, why is another actor voicing his future self? It only gets more confusing in the finale where we see Radnor onscreen as a middle-aged Ted, who no longer sounds like Saget. We guess they were going for a “Wonder Years” vibe, but even Peter Griffin realizes that this doesn’t add up.
#2: Saran Wrap, The Most Frustrating Invention Ever!
“Boys & Squirrels” Saran wrap seems like a convenient tool for keeping our leftovers fresh. As Peter demonstrates in this cutaway gag, saran wrap is actually a burden on society. Just getting a grasp of the sticky plastic is an ordeal. It’s impossible to pull out a piece while still keeping the tube in the box. No matter how hard you try to smoothly cut the plastic in a straight line, you always wind up tearing it in an unorderly fashion. Even when you finally have a piece to work with, it probably won’t cover the entire plate. Peter spends over a minute wrestling with the wrap before dropping one more truth bomb: nobody eats leftovers, but we still insist on keeping them in the fridge for weeks.
#1: The Freakin’ FCC
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“PTV” Everybody goes to the bathroom, most of us know all the four-lettered words, and our species would struggle to exist without procreation. So, why must the FCC crack down on these facets of life? Peter fires back at the FCC with his own network and a musical number that embraces everything “indecent.” Eventually, Peter takes his case to Congress, pointing out that many of the country’s celebrated monuments resemble instruments that the FCC is resolute on censoring. But what about all the impressionable children watching at home? Well, as Peter says in another episode, maybe parents should spend less time complaining about the shows and instead evaluate what their children watch. Peter Griffin isn’t afraid to tell it like it is. Nobody censors him.