Top 10 Most Hilarious Sue Sylvester Insults
#10: Will’s Vests “Britney/Brittany”
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Sue Sylvester is a master at slinging insults. And when it comes to her arch nemesis, Will Schuester, nothing is off limits. From his physical appearance, to his failing relationships, there is no topic she won’t touch. This time she goes after his fashion sense, or, in her opinion, lack thereof. She specifically goes after the heavy rotation of vests in his wardrobe. The “Blossom” reference makes this one particularly funny because ‘90s style is known for its abundance of vests, and it is an interesting way to call Will's style outdated.
#9: Roasting Emma “The Power of Madonna”
Though Sue spends a disproportionate amount of her time dragging others down, she, ironically, believes very strongly in empowerment. In an attempt to inspire her Cheerios, she pumps the entire school with Madonna music, with the exception of Ms. Pillsbury’s office. When Emma asks for an explanation, Sue hits her with the devastating blow that she, apparently, doesn't have the sexuality or self confidence to deserve the power of Madonna. If that weren’t bad enough, Sue goes on to compare Emma to a pair of prudish pandas. Emma might want to go to the nurse and get some ice for that burn.
#8: Sarah Palin “Hell-O”
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Around the time that the episode containing this zinger aired, the former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, was getting roasted all the time in the media for her antics. So comparing her Cheerios to the failed Vice Presidential nominee is a pretty savage way to express her disapproval in them. Though Sue’s newest plan to destroy the New Directions by recruiting Brittany and Santana to seduce Finn and steal him away from Rachel was, let’s say, flawed in its conception, she takes the failure out on Brittany and Santana with this crushing blow.
#7: Boobs McGee “Audition”
More often than not, Sue’s insults are clever, elaborate, and filled with pop culture references. Part of what makes them so funny is how eloquently worded they usually are. But other times she just goes straight for the jugular. While criticizing Santana for getting a boob job, she refers to her as Boobs McGee, and knocks her down to the bottom of the pyramid as punishment. The funny thing about this insult is that Sue is so upset because she is disappointed that Santana doesn’t have enough self confidence to accept her body as is. She just shows her affection with some tough love. Okay, some really tough love.
#6: Showtunes “Laryngitis”
Speaking of the odd ways Sue shows her affection, this one is actually almost a compliment. Before Kurt officially comes out as being gay, he struggles a bit, and for some reason turns to Sue. While trying to comfort Kurt about his confusion, she tries to assure him that just because he is not stereotypically manly, it doesn’t mean he is necessarily gay. Yet even with her best efforts to say something nice,she manages to squeeze in an insult about show tunes. While defending his sexuality, she also manages to insult his love of musical theatre.
#5: Freakish Bony Ginger “I Am Unicorn”
Sue has always been very clear about why she hates Will Schuester and the glee club so much. Their mere existence threatens her ridiculous and overreaching Cheerios budget. But she seems to hate poor Emma Pillsbury for a whole different set of reasons. And, against all logic, Sue seems particularly offended by the fact that Emma is a redhead. Emma has been the butt of many of Sue’s jokes, but this one is one of our favorites, because Sue can’t even get through lunch without throwing some shade her way.
#4: Will’s Butt Chin Various
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Sue hits Will with this insult so many times we couldn’t possibly pick just one instance for our list. Instead this spot goes to every variation of the butt chin joke. Some of our favorites include that time she compared Will’s chin to a baby’s bottom and threatened to put it in a diaper. Then there’s the time she suggested Will put an ad on Craigslist seeking men with butt chins when he decides he might be ready to start dating after his divorce. And then, there’s the time she actually tried to say something nice about Will’s musical talent, but couldn’t help sneaking in yet another butt chin joke.
#3: The Travolta Double Whammy “I Kissed a Girl”
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Sue is such a wordsmith when it comes to insults that, with this one, she manages to take down two victims for the price of one. When Sue tells off Coach Beiste, she suggests she go to her next face widening session at the John Travolta Institute for Head Thickening and Facial Weight Gain. Sue doesn’t just insult Beiste’s appearance in general, she doubles down by comparing her to John Travolta. Actually this one is almost a triple whammy because it isn’t just a barb at Coach Beiste’s weight and physical appearance, it’s a dig at Travolta himself as well.
#2: Roasting Will’s Hair Various
Just like with Will’s butt chin, with this category of insults, there are far too many to settle on just one. Sue relentlessly attacks Will’s curly hair, like when she compared it to a Chia pet. Or when she claims that there are elves baking cookies, or bird laying eggs in his hair. There’s the classic too much hair gel insult. And we cannot forget the time Sue managed to shoe horn in a hair insult, a divorce insult, and a bad teacher insult all into one when she told Will to add revenge along with marriage, running the glee club, and, of course, his hairstyle to the list of his failures. Sue Sylvester is an absolute savage. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions: Fire Alarms “A Night of Neglect” Offensive Performance “Showmance” Tweedle-Dumb & Tweedle-Fake Boobs “Original Song” Colossal Waste of Time “Laryngitis” Ambiguous “Vitamin D”
#1: Kitty Cat “Mash-Up”
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Sue isn’t usually one to show her feelings, so it’s no surprise she was more horrible than usual after facing an embarrassing romantic let down. Sue takes her frustrations out on Will with this elaborate and overwhelming insult. The best thing about it is that it makes no sense whatsoever. She starts by introducing an innocent little kitty cat, which leads you to believe that she will hurt Will by somehow hurting his hypothetical feline friend, but hits us with the surprise twist that she will punch him in the face instead. As thankful as we are that the cat went unharmed, we’re just as amused at this ridiculous and hilarious insult.
