Top 10 Most Annoying TV Show Theme Songs

The more confident among us can openly admit to loving MC Hammer’s one hit wonder song, “U Can’t Touch This.” It was a great time, fun was had, but for most fans, that was the end of the love affair with Hammer and his parachute pants. Somehow, though, he landed this children’s show, which saw a cartoon, superhero version of him solving crimes with a pair of magical dancing shoes. The theme song, performed by Hammer himself, is as ridiculous as the show’s concept. In a far-too-long rap, Hammer tells the origin of Hammerman and the magical shoes. The rap is jumbled, completely lacks rhythm, and, unsurprisingly, isn’t exactly lyrically compelling. Don’t worry Hammer, no one will touch this.

There has to be some parent out there who’s had a breakdown from hearing this theme song one too many times; which is to say, they’ve heard it exactly once. The theme song to this cartoon about a hyperactive squirrel and his skunk buddy getting into crazy situations down at the supermarket where they work is overly offensive to, oddly enough, jazz. Tonally, the song doesn’t speak jazz; rather, it sticks to the classic upbeat, overload-of-sound structure that many children’s shows select. When the squirrel attempts to sing jazz, he coughs out nonsensical words in what we assume is an attempt to scat. It’s a failure, and we’re left listening to high-pitched dribble.

The producers behind Enterprise wanted a Star Trek like none that came before... and unfortunately, they got it. Veering far from other Star Trek iterations, Enterprise chose to ditch the orchestral format for its theme song and instead, it went with “Faith of the Heart” by Russell Watson. The song is fine enough for an Adult Contemporary grocery store soundtrack, but not for Star Trek. It’s slow, deep, and most of all not very Trek, a franchise about wonder and exploration and the beauty of the expansive universe. They tried to improve it for later seasons by upping the tempo, but it still fell flat. Every time fans heard Enterprise’s inappropriate theme, they boldly went to another channel.

Surprise, surprise: another kid’s show. Happy Tree Friends– a show that at first glance seems to be about cute little woodland creatures, but is actually deceptively violent and gory – opts for some high pitched squealing as the primary musical element in its theme. Because that’s what animals do… they squeal… Anyway, the theme song is about thirty seconds of extremely piercing high octave noises set to a background beat of a tuba. The tuba is actually the least offensive part of the song, so well done, tuba player!

La la la la, la la la la, stop this song! This is the thought – set to an unfortunate melody – that rolls through a person’s mind when they are in range of Elmo and his tone-deaf world. The show within a show is admittedly great for children, and plenty of people out there would concede to having a soft spot for the little red guy, but that doesn't mean the song isn't hard to listen to. It is at best annoyingly catchy, and at worst it’s akin to a hole being drilled in the side of your head. Gold fish and crayons aren't enough to save us from this painfully irritating earworm.

Brace yourselves; even if you haven’t seen the show, you probably know what’s coming. Alvin and his pesky chipmunks achieved mainstream, billion-dollar success with their film franchise. And anyone familiar with the movies knows how heavily they’re marketed through mainstream songs that have been put through a squeaky chipmunk filter. Well, the show’s theme song does the same thing, letting the chipmunk’s squeaky singing voices take center stage. It’s another example of a children’s show opting for shrill vocals and up-tempo beats. We’re not sure, but there has to be some science behind the formula, because it seems that every new cartoon out there is upping the ante on annoying themes.

Not introduced until season 2, the hugely annoying theme song to The L Word has had several complaints lodged against it, but we’ll start here: it tries too hard to be a James Bond song. The Bond themes work because, well, it’s James Bond and it’s a part of that franchise’s culture. To work elsewhere, everything needs to be just right. The L Word did not get it right, and that’s because of the other issues. The show follows a group of melodramatic lesbians in Hollywood, and that’s also what the vocals focus on. It inappropriately and stereotypically flaunts the character’s identities, resulting in a song that’s actually fairly offensive to homosexuals.

Returning to children’s shows, we land on the Animaniacs. Whil we’re sure this tune has its fans, some viewers find the theme so bothersome because it feels like a circus tune – and you know what? It’s designed to be annoying. The shows’ three main characters, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, spend the song taking the viewer around the WB lot, explaining the hijinks they get up to. It’s high-pitched, way too fast, and altogether too much – but hey, it won an Emmy Award. Oh, here’s something else you may not know; this show’s executive producer? Steven Spielberg. You learn something new every day.

What the heck is a chum chum? You know what, that’s not important. We’re here to talk about the show’s theme song, and yes, it really, truly earned the number two spot. An innocent whistle begins this song, but that’s just the calm before the storm, because then Fanboy & Chum Chum break into a rap and all hell breaks loose. These two nasally demon spawns vomit up lyrics about their underwear and getting a brain freeze. And then, you won’t believe this; the song literally encourages its fans to scream at the top of their lungs. DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO PARENTS? Peaceful household no more.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable, or in this case, dishonorable, mentions.

- “Joanie Loves Chachi” (1982-83)
- “Two and a Half Men” (2003-15)
- “The Care Bears” (1985-88)

You know what’s funny? Most people think that the Barney theme song is this… But the whole “I love you, you love me,” thing isn’t the real theme, although it was used to torture POWs in Iraq. No, Barney's theme is actually completely different, but don’t worry, it’s still super annoying; it landed the number one spot for a good, or you know what, bad reason. The song, entitled “Barney is a Dinosaur” is set to the tune of “Yankee Doodle,” which is offensive enough as it is. It sings of Barney, how he’s a dinosaur, and all the fun he gets up to with the children. Let’s just say that when this version of the show ended in 2009, we're happy the irritating theme song was retired along with it.

Do you agree with our list? What do you think is the most annoying theme song out there? For more entertaining Top 10’s published daily, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.