Home Alone vs. Die Hard
Round 1: Protagonist
Top 10 Movies Where the Protagonist Dies
Kevin McCallister is the young hero of “Home Alone,” and he’s a fun character to follow and easy to root for. He’s often mistreated by his family members and isn’t taken seriously, which can lead him to lash out. Kevin is quite precocious, being able to look after himself at a young age, bandits and aftershave aside, and having surprisingly mature tastes. While many have questioned whether he might be a budding sociopath, given the deadliness of the traps he lays for the Wet Bandits, Kevin still has a good heart. John McClane is a New York cop and basically an ordinary guy caught up in an extraordinary situation when Nakatomi Plaza gets taken over by apparent terrorists. Part of what makes John such a compelling and relatable character is that he’s not the ordinary action hero. He’s not invincible. He makes mistakes, he gets hurt, and he tries to deal with things through humor. He’s also surprisingly clever, though. John is an underdog, but that only makes his eventual triumph over Hans Gruber and his men more satisfying. John's rocky relationship with his wife could be a mark against him, but they make up by the end - plus, marriage is hard enough without armed attackers getting in the middle. Both of our unlikely heroes are great, but we give the slight edge to John McClane. He’s more experienced, and a little better adjusted. This round goes to “Die Hard.” “Home Alone” 0 / “Die Hard” 1
Round 2: Villains
Top 20 Most Likeable Movie Villains
Heroes are often only as good as their villains, and the Wet Bandits make for great foils to Kevin in “Home Alone.” Harry and Marv are prolific, but not very bright thieves. Marv is the clumsier and more dimwitted of the duo, while Harry is short-tempered and ruthless. The Wet Bandits fall victim to Kevin’s traps in a slapstick way, which can lessen some of their menace. Being antagonists in a kids’ movie also takes away some of their edge in general - Harry really wants to swear, but doesn’t, for example. Even so, in the annals of children’s movie villains, they remain remarkably threatening, and memorable. “Die Hard” has a whole cavalcade of would-be terrorists, but actually thieves, to choose from. As their leader, Hans Gruber is obviously a standout, with his sharp wit and quick thinking letting him deceive not just the F.B.I., but also John McClane, albeit briefly. His raw charisma and intelligence make him among cinema’s greatest villains. But even the rest of his crew are great. Karl’s quest for vengeance on John for the death of his brother makes him an intimidating contrast to Hans. Theo is a weaselly tech specialist with a dark sense of humor. And who doesn’t love Uli sneaking that candy bar? If anything, we just didn’t get enough of some of them. As much as we love Harry and Marv, Gruber and company have them beat in brains, effectiveness, quality, and quantity! This round sees another point for “Die Hard.” “Home Alone” 0 / “Die Hard” 2
Round 3: Arsenal
Kevin uses a variety of traps for the Wet Bandits. He ices his steps, uses tar, nails, Micro Machines, paint cans, and much more. Several of these, such as the heavier objects or that blowtorch Harry takes to the head, could easily cause severe injury or death in real life. However, their effects on the Wet Bandits are about as realistic as on Bugs Bunny. Even so, we have to give points for the variety of Kevin’s arsenal and for how creatively Kevin uses his improvised weapons against his foes. John McClane begins the film with only his service weapon, but he ends up using a heck of a lot more weapons! Naturally, he ends up “appropriating” a lot of the arsenal brought by Gruber and his men. These include powerful automatic weapons and plastic explosives. McClane also makes use of items he finds at Nakatomi Plaza to use against the terrorists in various ways, from an axe to open the elevator shaft, to a chain to strangle Karl with. John shows a great ability to improvise and use what’s at hand to his best advantage. Although both heroes use items they find around them to fight the bad guys, we feel like Kevin McCallister takes this victory because of how unique some of his impromptu weapons are. Point goes to “Home Alone.” “Home Alone” 1 / “Die Hard” 2
Round 4: Holiday Spirit
The Best Horror Movie for Each Major Holiday
“Home Alone” is set at Christmastime and really leans into the holiday spirit. There are Christmas songs aplenty and Kevin’s house and neighborhood are decked out in lights galore. But even while the film embraces these superficial trappings of the holiday, “Home Alone” also touches on the more wholesome aspects of the season. Kevin is deprived of his family and sees how lonely being without your family can make you, through his neighbor Old Man Marley. And as terrible as some of his relatives can be, Kevin ultimately feels better when they return home. Well, at least, when his mom does. Regardless of what you or even Bruce Willis himself say, “Die Hard” is absolutely a Christmas movie! It’s set on Christmas Eve, there’s Christmas music and references all over it, and each time we watch it, it gives us the greatest gift of all - the gift of “Die Hard.” Now, granted, we can admit, that the film is more Christmas-seasoned than Christmas-baked. But if you can’t celebrate the season of giving by sitting around with your loved ones and watching John McClane kick ass, you’re doing the holiday wrong! Granted, we watch both of these films every year during the holidays. But if we have to choose which one exemplifies the holiday spirit more, it’s probably “Home Alone.” We gift this round to you, Kevin. “Home Alone” 2 / “Die Hard” 2
Round 5: Story
All the Toy Story Movies: RANKED!
“Home Alone” is a classic for good reason. Kevin being left at home and discovering the true meaning of Christmas while also fighting off two criminals is wildly entertaining decades later. Sure, there are contrivances like the family being so oblivious they forget Kevin and the fact that Kevin doesn’t call the police earlier on the two burglars (seriously, isn’t he supposed to be smart?). But then the movie wouldn’t happen, and we still love it, plot holes aside. It’s basically a kid-friendly “Die Hard” with extra doses of comedy and heartwarming. And that’s not a knock against it! “Die Hard” has a fantastic story from the roof of Nakatomi Plaza to the underground garage! It’s got fantastic setpieces, brilliant foreshadowing, surprising twists, rising stakes, and a host of small moments that add up to an incredible experience. It’s got a formula so compelling, lone hero takes on a bunch of bad guys, that it spawned dozens of imitators! “Die Hard” is one of the best action movies ever made, so it can be hard to poke holes in it. A few things could’ve been conveyed better (John figuring out Hans is a terrorist relied on a deleted scene, for instance). But otherwise? Flawless. Both films have spectacular stories that are endlessly entertaining. They both have their flaws, but at the end of the day, we have to go with… both. This round is a tie. Each film has its strengths and weaknesses. We’re not going to tell you which is better, because honestly - we can’t decide!
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