10 Times Schmidt Was the Best Character on New Girl
#10: His First Name Reveal
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“San Diego” Schmidt’s first name was a mystery that eluded us all. So we were all waiting with bated breath to find out what his given name actually is and why it had never been spoken. Who could have guessed that it’s because it’s also Winston? Apparently, some deal was brokered when the two Winstons first met in order to keep the peace. That is until Schmidt and Winston strike a new deal, so that Schmidt can use the name. Lucky for us, it didn’t stick, and he will forever be Schmidt.
#9: His Indian Dance Performance
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“Big Mama P” Schmidt and Cece ending up together was a long time coming, so their engagement party was just as exciting for fans as it was for the characters themselves. But when Jess invites Cece’s mom to the party, she’s kind of a bummer. Granted, Cece didn’t even tell her they were getting married, but her worries that her mom wouldn’t give them her blessing turned out to be right. But Schmidt does not take no for an answer. To impress Mrs. Parekh, Schmidt joins an Indian dance troupe and performs a Bollywood dance. In the end the dance doesn’t change her mind, but it shows just how far he will go to make Cece happy.
#8: Trying to Break Up Nick & Jess
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“The Captain” After Cece and Elizabeth find out that Schmidt has been seeing both of them at the same time, he blames Nick and Jess for getting involved and hurting the two women. Though this isn’t one of Schmidt’s finest moments, who could forget the equally funny and terrifying speech he gives them where he vows his revenge? Still with the remains of the pie Elizabeth smashed into his face all over him, Schmidt swears that he will break them up if it takes him his whole life. And through mind games and sexual manipulation, he almost succeeds. We’re not exactly sure what The Captain entails, but it sounds horrifying.
#7: Proposing to Cece
“Clean Break” Schmidt and Cece’s relationship was a long and bumpy road. Schmidt said it himself, after all the screw ups, he was starting to believe they would never get here. But they always manage to find their way back to each other. After failing to make a clean break and get rid of his Cece mementos, and with some meddling from Jess and Winston, they reunite in the loft doorway on their way to find each other. In lieu of a ring, Schmidt proposes with the five dollars he just couldn’t give up from when they first met, which he had to put it in the douchebag jar for saying, “girl, I’m going to marry you.”
#6: Giving Nick a Lap Dance
“Santa” While trying to win back his stripper girlfriend, Angie, Nick gives her a hilarious public lap dance, and she accepts his apology by reciprocating. Unsatisfied by Angie’s performance, Schmidt pushes her aside, straddles Nick, and shows Angie how it’s done. Schmidt’s high brow taste just could not stand for Angie’s sub par lap dance. Even funnier than the dance itself is Schmidt’s complete obliviousness to the moment he’s ruining. He is completely unconcerned that Nick and Angie are trying to share a romantic moment, and is only worried about her underwhelming techniques.
#5: Rapping for Nick
“Injured” Schmidt has always had an intense love for Nick. So when Nick finds out he might have cancer after getting injured during a game of touch football, Schmidt is not shy about expressing that love in probably the most Schmidt way possible. The gang are all dealing with their emotions in the only way they know how: getting wasted at the bar. On Nick’s request, Schmidt freestyle raps an incoherent sad song, made up of poorly strung together lyrics. Inspired by Schmidt’s passion, the rest of the gang jumps for a memorable performance.
#4: Giving Himself a Pep Talk
“Bathtub” After months of failing to get over Cece, Schmidt finally realizes that he is in love with her. So he decides to tell her exactly how he feels. Being the control freak that he is, Schmidt plans out every word he is going to say to get her back. In preparation, he gives himself an absurd pep talk in the bathroom mirror, practicing his profession of love with some of his most baller vocabulary. Thankfully for Shmidt, none of the embarrassing rehearsal made the final speech.
#3: His ‘Rebranding’ Party
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“Re-Launch” During a rough patch with Cece, Schmidt has a wild night out with her roommate, Nadia, during which she...well... breaks his penis. So naturally, when the penis cast finally comes off, he throws a party for himself to celebrate that he is ready to have sex again. But because he’s Schmidt, it’s not just any party. This one comes complete with shot girls and an oiled up Schmidt performing fire tricks. Of course, things go down hill when Schmidt realizes he doesn’t actually know how to perform fire tricks and he nearly burns down the bar. But when the theme of your party is danger, what did the guests really expect?
#2: The Douchebag Jar Montage
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“The Story of the 50” In an episode centered entirely around why Schmidt has to put $50 in the douchebag jar, the gang holds court, telling the story of exactly what terrible thing he did on his birthday to earn himself the douchebag jar high score. Impressed that he has never broken the $50 mark before, they flash back to some of his worst offenses from the past. From ordering personalized condoms, to his ridiculous wardrobe, to his thoughts on names for uncircumcised genitalia, this montage highlights some of Schmidt’s best (or worst) moments. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions: Dirty Old Bitch “LAXmas” Schmidt Happens “Kryptonite” Vagenius “Eggs”
#1: The Quest for the Lionfish
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“Quick Hardening Caulk” Brokenhearted by Cece's engagement, Schmidt becomes obsessed with obtaining a rare lionfish as a replacement. He tries to buy one from an aquarium and assaults one of the employees when he isn’t permitted to. Winston pulls him off of the poor man, but not before Schmidt gets away with his fish hat and makes a scene as Winston drags him out. Winston tries to distract him with another fish, and Schmidt expresses his disappointment using his signature Schmidt vernacular. Poor clown fish! The best part of this whole adventure is that Schmidt doesn’t even realize his quest for the lionfish is symbolic of his quest for Cece.
