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Top 10 Most Hilarious Simpsons Quotes

VO: Rebecca Brayton
Written by Alex Crilly-Mckean The first family of Springfield is nothing if not quotable. Welcome to, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Simpsons Quotes. For this list, we’re looking at the best phrases to ever come out of this hit animated series. Keep in mind we won’t be including signature catchphrases, so don’t expect to see any D’ohs around here. Have an idea you want to see made into a WatchMojo video? Check out our suggest page at http://WatchMojo.comsuggest and submit your idea.

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The first family of Springfield is nothing if not quotable. Welcome to, and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Simpsons Quotes.

For this list, we’re looking at the best phrases to ever come out of this hit animated series. Keep in mind we won’t be including signature catchphrases, so don’t expect to see any D’ohs around here.

#10: Loneliness & Cheeseburgers
“My Sister, My Sitter”

This episode takes a couple of dark turns, but it does give us a brilliant gag to lift up the more somber mood. While Lisa endeavors to get her brother some medical attention, he refuses to make things easy for her. She eventually transports him to Dr. Nick’s via wheelbarrow. As it happens, she’s not the only one in need, as we see there’s an entire line of Springfield citizens in similar circumstances. It’s here that we get some brief insight into what happened to Comic Book Guy, who has overdosed on cheeseburgers. Guess you can have too much of a good thing.

#9: You Don’t Win Friends with Salad
“Lisa the Vegetarian”

By now, we all know that Lisa is dead-set in her vegetarian ways, and is always on hand to promote it to her carnivorous family as an alternative. The episode where she reaches this turning point in her diet not only adds to her character immensely, but also gives us a hilarious reaction from the rest of the Simpson household. A quick-fire response from Homer over a vegetarian meal’s lack of impact soon becomes the start of a conga line, with quite a catchy tune to go along with it. Even Marge gets in on the action.

#8: Making People Happy
“Flaming Moe’s”

Homer Simpson is a lot of things: a caring father, loving husband, well-meaning moron, and a generous alcoholic. But it’s worth remembering that he can also be the King of Sass. Nowhere is this exemplified better than when Marge tells him he should look on the bright side after Moe becomes successful thanks to an idea he stole from Homer. In response, he launches into a tirade of sarcasm where he expresses how overly thrilled he is that Moe sold him out. Everything, from the tone of his voice to the extent of his cynicism, makes the whole thing oddly delightful to listen to.

#7: Sex Cauldron
“Grade School Confidential”

Seems like Krusty needs to head back to school. After Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel are exposed as a couple, rumors start circulating the town until they’re exaggerated to the point where everyone believes the two were copulating in front of the students. This is something that Maude Flanders is particularly eager to call them out on. Of course, being the Flanders matriarch, she’s not going to just come out and say it. So she spells it out loud. Now, we’re not sure which place Krusty is referring to, but chances are it shut down for a good reason…

#6: Stupid Sexy Flanders
“Little Big Mom”

It appears that no one is immune to Ned’s natural assets, not even Homer. While spending some time at the ski lodge, Homer and Ned encounter each other on the slopes. As it happens, Ned’s choice in skiwear shows off a little more than anyone was hoping. In fact, it leaves such an impression that Homer can’t get Ned’s own slopes out of his mind, resulting in an outburst no one was expecting. He may indeed be annoying, but when Homer’s forced to admit that Ned Flanders has sex appeal, you know it has to be true!

#5: That’s Unpossible
“Lisa on Ice”

Oh Ralph, we’ll never get tired of your sweet awkwardness. While we got plenty of laughs when he confused Superintendent Chalmers and a certain video game console, no other quote perfectly summarizes the character of Ralph Wiggum than when he unwittingly fails at the English language. The students of Springfield Elementary are called up during an assembly to discuss which subjects they are falling behind in, and as you’d expect Ralph is doing pretty badly in English – a fact that he then kindly goes on to demonstrate effectively with these few words.

#4: Full of Chocolate
“Lisa on Ice”

You have to hand it to Homer: he can come out with some truly poignant speeches, especially when it comes to being a father. But as soon as he sees something funny, he turns on a dime. In this instance, when he’s giving a local hockey team a pep talk about not treating Lisa any differently just because she’s a girl, he breaks out in laughter when he notices Uter, who, for lack of a better term, isn’t in the best of shape. He then proceeds to start chasing the poor German around the locker room with a wet towel. As much as we feel sorry for the kid, Uter’s response is priceless.

#3: I Used to Be with It

Abe Simpson isn’t known for coming up with the most meaningful of quotes, as more often than not old age and his own dim-witted personality get in the way. However, much like his son, he does have a few unintentionally poignant moments. Speaking to a younger Homer and Barney, he talks about how being part of the in-crowd and up-to-date on crazes is a never-ending cycle that everyone eventually loses track of; something the two of them would undoubtedly come to realize in later life.

#2: To Alcohol
“Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment”

If there’s one thing that Homer loves just as much as (and in some cases, even more so) than his family, it would be the sweet taste of beer. So as you can imagine, he wasn’t exactly thrilled when Springfield was put under prohibition law, so he becomes a bootlegger to ensure Moe’s can still serve alcohol. Despite a few obstacles down the line, the law is eventually lifted and the town’s right to get blindly drunk is restored. Homer signs off with what could quite possibly be the most potent quote he has ever stated.

Before we reveal our number one pick, here are a few honourable mentions.
- That's a Paddlin’
“The PTA Disbands”

- Grease Me Up, Woman!
“Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song”

- Spruce Moose
“$pringfield (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)”

#1: I Am So Smart
“Homer Goes to College”

He’s certainly had his moments of unintended brilliance, but the majority would agree that Homer Simpson isn’t the brightest fish-bulb around. However, that certainly hasn’t stopped him from celebrating when he thinks he’s achieved something worthy of merit. And this scene pretty much captures Homer’s stupidity at its best. After finally getting into college, Homer decides to celebrate by setting his high school diploma on fire while singing about just how intelligent he is. The song itself is made more hysterical by Homer initially misspelling the word as he chants it, all the while silhouetted by flames. Yep, that’s Homer alright.

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