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Top 10 Funniest Movie Quotes of the 1990s

VO: Rebecca Brayton
Script written by Nick Spake These lines never cease to make us laugh, no matter how many times we hear them. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 funniest movie quotes of the 1990s. For this list, we’re taking a look at the most hilarious quotes from ‘90s movies that have had the most staying power. Special thanks to our users Godslayer79 for submitting the idea using our interactive suggestion tool at WatchMojo.comsuggest/Top+10++funniest+movie+quotes
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Script written by Nick Spake

Top 10 Funniest Movie Quotes of the 1990s

These lines never cease to make us laugh, no matter how many times we hear them. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 funniest movie quotes of the 1990s.

For this list, we’re taking a look at the most hilarious quotes from ‘90s movies that have had the most staying power. These jokes must be funny without context and not simply because of a visual gag or excellent delivery, and do not have to be featured in comedy movies. This is part of a series of videos spanning the decades.

#10: Pieces of Shit for Breakfast
“Happy Gilmore” (1996)
Shooter McGavin easily could have been a killjoy villain devoid of any humor. Yet, he actually scores several memorable lines in “Happy Gilmore,” most notably this hilarious exchange with his rival. Although Shooter thinks he’s bested Happy with a threatening one-liner about his usual morning routine, our hero strikes right back by flipping his opponent’s words upside down. What’s even funnier than Happy’s comeback is Shooter’s dumbstruck reaction like a deer caught in the headlights. It’s the most priceless retort this side of “The price is wrong, bitch.”
 

#9: One-Eyed Snake
“American Pie” (1999)
The dialogue between Jim and Mr. Levenstein makes for some of the most uproariously awkward father/son conversations you’ll ever hear. Part of what makes their chats especially painful is that Jim’s dad is so boundlessly understanding, as demonstrated in his response to his son pleasuring himself with a pie. He’s not afraid to talk about anything, including Uncle Mort’s obsession with petting his one-eyed snake. Having the birds and the bees talk is always an unbearably uncomfortable experience, but this particular line elevates their interaction to new levels of embarrassment – and comedy.
 

#8: Does This Suit Make Me Look Fat?
“Tommy Boy” (1995)
Chris Farley plus David Spade was an equation for buddy comedy gold in the ‘90s, playing off each other to perfection. “Tommy Boy” is often considered their finest pairing, with Farley’s lovable ineptness being complemented by Spade’s quick-witted sarcasm. Mind you, “complemented” probably isn’t the right word to describe their dynamic, as almost everything Spade says to Farley is an insult – direct or otherwise. The sharpest exchange between the two occurs as a self-conscious Tommy questions his appearance, leaving Spade’s Richard to concisely address Tommy’s concerns…
 

#7: If I’m Not Back in Five Minutes…
“Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” (1994)
You never know what’s going to come out of Ace Ventura’s mouth, or his butt as the case may be. Whatever he says, however, it’s bound to put us in stitches. Take this classic line for instance as Ace explores the scene of a crime. Although the situation is far from perilous, he still feels compelled to give the others instructions if he doesn’t return in a timely manner. As always, the pet detective plays with our expectations, taking a stock, cliché line and putting his trademark, inexplicably silly spin on it.

#6: I Thought I Had Mono Once for an Entire Year
“Wayne’s World” (1992)
Wayne Campbell may be immature, he may be a bit of a slacker, and he may have an extensive collection of name tags and hairnets, but he’s much more clever than he looks. This brilliantly crafted line is a testament to Wayne’s unmatched wit as he reflects on his yearlong brush with infectious mononucleosis. It turns out that the schwingster’s self-diagnosis may have been off. Whether it’s a true story or flirty fluff, who knows? But the fact that Cassandra laughs at Campbell’s comment is a sure sign she’s a keeper.

#5: Compensate for Smaller Genitals
“Mrs. Doubtfire” (1993)
Being a king of one-liners, Robin Williams had to appear on this list. Throughout the ‘90s, his comedic genius was arguably best represented in “Mrs. Doubtfire.” While Daniel Hillard’s sex conversation with his ex-wife as the Scottish housekeeper has Top 10 potential, it’s this line that kills us every time. Having trouble coming to grips with the notion of his ex dating, Mrs. Doubtfire removes the hood ornament from the competition’s Mercedes. To add insult to injury, Doubtfire uses the opportunity to hit Stu with a below the belt jest.
 

#4: The Judgment
“Billy Madison” (1995)
Although we came close to awarding this spot to a certain pants peeing line, we simply couldn’t deny one of the funniest insults of all time a place on this list. Subsequent to giving a passionate, powerful speech that results in resounding applause, Billy Madison is brought down to reality by the principal’s judgment. He doesn’t just tell Billy that his answer is wrong; he flat-out condemns Billy’s words in the most mortifying, longwinded, and sidesplittingly straight-faced way possible. It may be harsh but – in light of Sandler’s more recent films – the criticism is well earned.

#3: I Get Older; They Stay the Same Age
“Dazed and Confused” (1993)
Up until the McConaissance, this line was easily Matthew McConaughey’s greatest contribution to the art of cinema. In “Dazed and Confused,” McConaughey plays David Wooderson, a 20-something-year-old who still hangs out with high school teenagers. Although he may be getting on in years, Wooderson is eternally young at heart – we’ll just overlook the fact that his shallow lifestyle is likely to land him in jail one day. In this scene, the laidback hippie shares his philosophy on high school girls. Aside from, “Ha, ha, ha,” all you can say to that is, “alright, alright, alright.”
 

#2: Totally Redeem Yourself
“Dumb and Dumber” (1994)
It takes truly ingenious filmmakers to conceive dialogue that’s so stupid and yet so smart at the same time, and the Farrelly Brothers nail it. “Dumb and Dumber” is a model example, dishing out one big laugh after another. While Lloyd’s inadvertently insulting comment toward senior citizens is one of his dumber moments, he proves himself even dumber when he trades the shaggin’ wagon for a dinky moped. Then just when it looks like Harry is going to prove himself slightly more intelligent than his companion, he delivers the film’s absolute best line.
 
Before we crack up at our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
-    Missing Work
“Office Space” (1999)
-    I’m Not Going To
“Groundhog Day” (1993)
-    Piss on Your Gums
“Encino Man” (1992)
-    O, R They?
“Rushmore” (1998)
-    Midget at a Urinal
“Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult” (1994)
 

#1: Bigger Titties Than You Do
“Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me” (1999)
Nearly everything that emanates out of this Fat Bastard is a riot; he just has too many quotable lines to count. His defining moment, however, has to be in this classic scene from “The Spy Who Shagged Me” as he lets out why he’s so unhappy on the outside and the inside. Although we’re supposed to feel sorry about his ample bosom, multiple chins, and a D.O.A. johnson, all we can do is bust a gut at his misery. And what better way to cap off the funniest line of the ‘90s than with a wholesome, down home, good old-fashion fart?
 
Do you agree with our list? What do you think is the funniest quote of the ‘90s? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.

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