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Top 10 Funniest Movie Quotes of the 1980s

VO: Rebecca Brayton

Script written by Nick Spake

We dare you not to chuckle at any of these lines. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 funniest movie quotes of the 1980s. For this list, we’re taking a look at the most hilarious quotes from ‘80s movies that have had the most staying power.

Special thanks to our users ThatGuyIsAGamer for submitting the idea using our interactive suggestion tool at WatchMojo.comsuggest

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Transcript
Script written by Nick Spake

Top 10 Funniest Movie Quotes of the 1980s


We dare you not to chuckle at any of these lines. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 funniest movie quotes of the 1980s.
 
For this list, we’re taking a look at the most hilarious quotes from ‘80s movies that have had the most staying power. These jokes must be funny out of context and not simply because of a visual gag or excellent delivery, and do not have to be featured in comedy movies. This is part of a series of videos spanning the decades.
 

#10: I’m a Mog
“Spaceballs” (1987)

We all know dogs are man’s best friend, but what do you get when you cross a dog with a man? A Mog of course! While it’s never made clear whether Mogs are aliens, hybrid experiments, or simply the product of spacey bestiality, Barf’s genetic background allows him to be his own best friend, as he proudly explains in “Spaceballs” – a movie that’s populated with more than its fair share of visual and verbal gags. This also means that he can walk himself, feed himself, and clean up his own messes – which he likely has to do often with a name is Barf-olomew.
 

#9: Did a Bus Park on Your Face?
“Roxanne” (1987)

In “Roxanne,” Steve Martin plays Charlie Bales, a man with a nose so bulging that it would make Cyrano of Bergerac gawk. Where some people might view his honker as a disadvantage, Charlie totally owns his disfigurement like a boss. And this instance in particular exemplifies Charlie’s self-assurance and Martin’s knack for one-liners. Rather than allowing a heckler’s insult damage his confidence, Charlie rips him a new one. He accomplishes this by not only making fun of his adversary via a harangue of zingers, but also by finding the humor in his own imperfections.
 

#8: Last Time I Was Inside a Woman…
“Crimes and Misdemeanors” (1989)

Woody Allen is undeniably one of the wittiest dialogue writers that ever lived, often deriving inspiration from his loving relationship with New York and his love/hate relationship with the opposite sex. In “Crimes and Misdemeanors,” Allen’s Cliff Stern sums up the sorrow of any New Yorker who can’t find a date. Every screenwriter in the world wishes that they could come up with a line this smart, sharp, and sidesplitting. That’s one of the reasons why Allen is truly a figure of inspiration – kind of like the Statue of Liberty.
 

#7: We’re All Gonna Get Laid
“Caddyshack” (1980)

To Rodney Dangerfield, one-liners were like a bottomless bucket of golf balls and he could hit every one of them out of the driving range. This particular line from “Caddyshack” is a definite hole in one to cap off a perfect round. Dangerfield’s classic quote can apply to any sport, whether somebody’s putting on the green, trying to make a basket, or shooting one through the 5-hole. If you’re an athletic sort, chances are you’re bound to hear this line at least once in your life, and if you’re really lucky it might even come true.
 

#6: Nice Beaver
“The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!” (1988)

On paper, most of the dialogue in “The Naked Gun” sounds immature, silly, or just plain dumb…and it does on screen too. But doesn’t mean it isn’t also clever, well timed, and hysterical. This line epitomizes the franchise’s ability to be idiotically ingenious as Frank complements Jane on her nice… beaver. Jane’s implied furry cave of wonders, however, turns out to be a literal beaver that’s just been stuffed – which is a double dose of double entendre. It may be stupid, but Stephen Hawking himself couldn’t write a smarter joke.
 

#5: In Dire Need of a Blowjob
“Good Morning, Vietnam” (1987)

Like Rodney Dangerfield, Robin Williams was an unmatched comedic force that spouted out brilliant one-liners like they were his first language. This made Williams the ideal candidate to play Adrian Cronauer, a DJ in Vietnam who isn’t afraid to say whatever pops into his head. His most applause worthy line in “Good Morning Vietnam” has got to be when he tells off Sergeant Major Dickerson, who lives up to his family name. Dickerson may not find Cronauer funny, but he’s the only one.
 

#4: Haven’t Been F$&%ed in a Year
“Scarface” (1983)

She might be on fire but Elvira Hancock could use a good… – at least that’s what Tony Montana says in “Scarface.” With the body, legs, and face of Michelle Pfeiffer, Elvira could get any man she wants. Tony can tell from her uninterested expression, though, that Elvira’s not using her assets to her full advantage. A word of advice to all the ladies: If a guy tries to pick you up with this piggish, yet hilarious, line, blow him off immediately and definitely don’t become his trophy wife.
 

#3: Lump of Coal Up His Ass
“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (1986)

Few filmmakers wrote fourth wall-breaking dialogue better than John Hughes. Whenever one of his characters turned to the camera, you always knew that were about to say something immortal. Among all of his iconic characters, Ferris Bueller is easily the king of cool, the king of fourth wall breaks and the king of… sausages.  Always in fine form, Ferris’ finest break has got to be this diamond of a line – an invaluable description of his neurotic friend, Cameron. Hey, if this is true, Cameron should be able to pay off the damage to his dad’s Ferrari in no time.
 

#2: Memorable Afternoon
“Arthur” (1981)

In a performance that earned him an Academy Award, John Gielgud plays Hobson to sardonic perfection. Aside from a few standout sincere moments when he gives his master, Arthur, some fatherly advice, everything that comes out of this English butler’s mouth is irony-glazed sarcasm. Perhaps his most drolly shrewd line in this 1981 comedy is directed towards Liza Minnelli’s Linda. He may size her up as a bowling alley bunny, but Hobson also realizes Linda is just what Arthur needs. So take it as a compliment.
 
Before we crack up at our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
-          Vulgarian
“A Fish Called Wanda” (1988)
-          Disturbing the Peace?
“Beverly Hills Cop” (1984)
-          The Royal Penis
“Coming to America” (1988) 
-          On Dope?
“Fast Times at Ridgemont High” (1982)
-          Mass Hysteria!!!
“Ghostbusters” (1984) 

#1: Don’t Call Me Shirley
“Airplane!” (1980)

Touching down on runway number one is another priceless ‘80s line from Leslie Nielsen. Up until then known as a dramatic actor, Nielsen’s future as a comedic legend was set in stone with these immortal words. While the line itself will put a smile on anyone’s face, it’s the stone-faced way Nielsen says it with such solemn gravitas that causes the laugh-o-meter to skyrocket off the charts. Because it’s delivered just as straight as it would be in a true disaster movie, Nielsen’s line is all the more funny.
 
Do you agree with our list? What do you think is the funniest movie quote of the ‘80s? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.
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