Sex Doll Romance, DIY Death Ray & Dinos on Mars: The Dispatch #30

VOICE OVER: Adrian Sousa
Script Written by Jesse Polowin & Adrian Sousa

Welcome to The Dispatch,'s look at the weirdest and coolest news stories from the previous week of human existence. This week, we have a homemade laser bazooka, finding love in silicone and dinosaurs… in space?

Sex Doll Romance, DIY Death Ray & Dinos on Mars: The Dispatch #30

There’s probably a reason why you haven’t heard of these stories, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t interesting! Welcome to, and this is The Dispatch, where we bring you the Internet’s weirdest and coolest stories! This week, we have a homemade laser bazooka, finding love in silicone and dinosaurs… in space?

#3: DIY Death Ray

If you’re into YouTube these days –duh, of course you are - you’ll know the DIY trend is very popular. Whether it’s for cool crafts, homemade gifts or death lasers, there’s no limit to what a few pieces of scrap metal and old computer hardware can do. Such was the thinking of DIY enthusiast styropyro when he built a 200 watt laser gun using spare parts, projector electronics and lithium batteries. The Youtube inventor, whose channel features other laser-inspired inventions like lava lamps and Tasers, claims his laser bazooka is 33 million times more intense than staring at the sun. While we can’t back up the science on that statistic, we can say this homemade death ray is certifiably badass.

#2: When DinoMars Ruled the Space

Okay so that title may be a stretch. But, perhaps not as big of a stretch as the claims by the tinfoil hat-wearing population of the Internet this week. First, they thought they found a pyramid in the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. If you ask us, that looks like a mountain or maybe an inactive sub-aquatic volcano. It even has more “pyramids” surrounding it. But the crème de la crème has to be the bold claims that a dinosaur skull was found on Mars. Granted, this “evidence” is standing on a much more solid base than the underwater Google Earth bumps, but it’s still pretty weak. Just as a piece of toast can look like Jesus, a Martian rock can resemble a dino skull. However, a real life Marsosaurus Rex would probably be as certifiably badass as the DIY Death Ray. I wonder if the space dinos got Marsosaurus REKT by a meteor like our dinosaurs here on Earth?

#1: Silicone Seductress

The saying goes: the third times the charm, and when that doesn’t do it, time to get a sex doll. Or at least that’s what Murray is saying after falling in love with Noni. Noni is a stunning, plastic blonde who’s clearly got more to offer than divorce papers, unlike his three previous, sentient wives. Murray of Queensland, Australia says he’s forged a deep emotional connection with the silicone vixen, adding to their already fiery sexual bond. “Depending on what wig the doll will put on, depending on what clothes she's wearing, will depend on the type of sex we have.” Now that sounds like a solid bond. But would Murray still feel that fiery passion if he saw the PVC skeleton on which these dolls are built? A recent independent documentary exploring the Real Doll sex doll factory in Los Angeles, California, provides some all too real insights into how these dolls are produced. But heck, if it keeps Murray happy, what’s the harm? Well, at least until Noni puts on her pre-nup signing wig and negligee.

So, are space dinosaurs responsible for building the underwater pyramid?
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