If that's another man that looks like Buddy Holly trying to sell us Sky Television tell him that we're both blind and deaf.
50
Top 10 Funniest Victor Meldrew Quotes
#2
Suggested by
MikeMJPMUNCH2
I don't believe it!
40
#3
Suggested by
MikeMJPMUNCH2
One thing you can be sure about in life: just when you think that things are never ever going to get better, they suddenly get worse.
85
#4
Suggested by
MikeMJPMUNCH2
She can't be dead! She's the bloody health and fitness instructor!
63
#5
Suggested by
MikeMJPMUNCH2
I asked him if, for the time being, he'd put it in the downstairs toilet for me, and you know what he's done? He's only planted it in the pan! Yes, actually in the lavatory pan, with compost and ever
41
#6
Suggested by
MikeMJPMUNCH2
Twenty-five years it took to grow that apple tree. I planted it in the spring of 1965. Feeding it, spraying it, mulching the soil, watering it through the droughts, giving it an annual dressing of pot
97
#7
Suggested by
MikeMJPMUNCH2
Yes, everyone else maybe melting to death on the roads but not us! Because we have a car with hair conditionor! I mean what in the name of sanity did they thing we wanted it for? To make sure that the
76
#8
Suggested by
MikeMJPMUNCH2
I'm really glad we arrived back to find this half-eaten double whopper with cheese lying in my front rose-bed. Some people put manure in theirs, but I'll have none of it. A double whopper with cheese
22
#9
Suggested by
MikeMJPMUNCH2
Sucky sweet! I'll be sucking on that exhaust pipe in a minute, much more of this.
23
#10
Suggested by
MikeMJPMUNCH2
When you think about it, nothing ever exists, in fact. I was working this out in the post office as I was waiting for that woman to finish twanging her elastic bands. The future doesn't exist because
