Yet Another Top 10 Funniest Movie Insults
VOICE OVER: Rebecca Brayton
Script Written by Nick Spake.
Insults are always funny… assuming you're not the one being insulted. Join http://www.WatchMojo.com as we count down our picks for yet another top 10 funniest movie insults. For this list, we're taking a look at more ill-mannered comments designed to disparage the receiver and humor the audience.
Special thanks to our users Scotty Arbour and Немања Драгић Њемац for submitting the idea on our Suggestions Page at WatchMojo.comsuggest
Insults are always funny… assuming you’re not the one being insulted. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for yet another top 10 funniest movie insults.
For this list, we’re taking a look at more ill-mannered comments designed to disparage the receiver and humor the audience. Whether they’re said in anger or in jest, whether they’re speeches, rants or part of short conversations, they can all make this list, as long as they’re meant to belittle someone else. If you didn’t see a big screen insult you think should have made the list, be sure to check out our first 2 lists of the Top 10 Funniest Movie Insults.
#10: You Ass Turd Monkey Fucker!
“Hamlet 2” (2008)
Sometimes the most random obscenities can amount to the most memorable insults. In “Hamlet 2,” drama teacher Dana Marschz plans to put on a musical that will turn heads and make Shakespeare turn in his grave. When the principal tries to shut the play down, Dana tells off his boss while also working through some repressed daddy issues. He caps his outburst off with a final slur that will appeal to any censored artist. His foul words might hurt the principal, but the cafeteria door hurts Dana’s fingers even more.
#9: There’s a Name for You Ladies
“The Women” (1939)
Given all the gossiping and cheating that takes place in “The Women,” it’s only appropriate that the movie would end with somebody being referred to as a “bitch.” Back in 1939, it wasn’t exactly considered orthodox for ladies to use such a word in movies. Through well-constructed dialogue and clever innuendos, though, writers could present coarse language in a genteel manner. Beaten by her frenemies, Crystal retreats back to the perfume counter, but not before getting the last laugh. She doesn’t blatantly say it, but we know what she means.
#8: Frigid Bitch
“Legally Blonde” (2001)
Where “bitch” might have been taboo way back when, it’s now part of our everyday vocabulary. Even Harvard students use this five-letter word and Elle Woods utilizes it to great effect in “Legally Blonde.” When rival Vivian tricks Elle into believing a fellow student is having a costume party, she shows up in Playboy bunny attire. Turns out the invite actually said dress casually. While embarrassed, Elle keeps her head high and burns the frigid Vivian. If being a lawyer didn’t work out, she could have always majored in insults.
#7: Pralines and Dick
“Wayne’s World” (1992)
Garth Algar is such a simple, humble guy that it’s kind of hard to imagine him insulting anyone, even if it’s behind his or her back. However, even Garth can’t think of anything nice to say about the backstabbing Benjamin, who has no friends. Garth perfectly sums Benjamin up by defining him as an ice cream flavor. It’s one of the many classic one-liners from “Wayne’s World,” but why we still can’t buy a Pralines and Dick cone at our local ice cream parlor is beyond us. Wait, maybe not…
#6: Ass Like Chewed Bubble Gum
“Full Metal Jacket” (1987)
If you’re a cinema trivia nut, you know that R. Lee Ermey improvised most of his sadistic insults in “Full Metal Jacket.” Considering Ermey was an actual drill instructor during the Vietnam War, he was born to play Gunnery Sergeant Hartman. The question is which of his insults should we single out here? There are so many quotable ones, but none packs a greater punch than Hartman’s comparison of Private Pyle’s buttock to 150 pounds of chewed bubble gum. But at least Pyle knows how to take severe criticism…err, or not.
#5: Go Shave Your Back Now
“Mean Girls” (2004)
War is hell, but high school’s no cakewalk either. It’s full of jerky guys and mean girls. As new student Cady wanders through the cafeteria, she’s blindsided by an obscene survey. Regina George is there, though, to solidify her titles of Queen Bee and Queen of Insults. Only Tina Fey could pen such a hysterically bitchy line as Regina condemns Jason, sending him away with his head hanging low and his hairy back hunched. After he’s done shaving his back, he can go help shave a fellow student’s mom’s chest.
“The Nutty Professor” (1996)
Usually it’s the standup comedian who attacks the audience, but sometimes a heckler can be even funnier than the comic. After the overweight, insecure Sherman Klump is transformed into the thin, smooth Buddy Love, the nutty professor gets revenge by roasting Dave Chappelle’s Reggie. Showing no restraint, Buddy takes shots at everything from Reggie’s fat mamma to his shitty haircut. Buddy’s insulting words and the piano lid hit Reggie really hard. It goes to show that as hilarious as Chappelle is, you never want to try to upstage Eddie Murphy.
#3: No, Your Face Does
“Tommy Boy” (1995)
Chris Farley and David Spade always made for an endearing comedic pair with one as the bumbling buffoon and the other as the sardonic smart aleck. Their winning chemistry is best represented in “Tommy Boy” as the guys set out on a sales trip and wonderfully work off each other in the process. Tommy obviously isn’t the best salesman and his colleague’s sarcastic comments don’t boost his confidence. This particular retort is pretty straightforward, but it perfectly encompasses the playful relationship these comedians shared on screen and in real life.
#2: 30-Year-Old Sprinkler
“22 Jump Street” (2014)
Every campus has that one stuck-up girl who thinks she’s superior and lets everyone else know it. In MC State University’s case, that student is Mercedes. This blonde prude naturally doesn’t approve of her dorm-mate fornicating, especially with a guy who looks significantly older. Judgmentally hovering over the couple before they even wake up, Mercedes lets Schmidt know that he’s too old to be a nineteen-year-old freshman and way too old to be hooking up with college students. Saying everything in stone-faced monotone, it’s a lesson in Hilarious Insults 101.
Before our top pick tells us off, here are a few honorable mentions:
- Insult Battle
“The First Wives Club” (1996)
- Telling the Truth
“Liar Liar” (1997)
- Shit Like You for Breakfast
“Happy Gilmore” (1996)
- Climbing Off Yer Mum
- Chicken Fucker
“Super Troopers” (2001)
#1: Not Even Interesting Enough to Make Me Sick
“The Witches of Eastwick” (1987)
This rant from “The Witches of Eastwick” is like ten epic insults for the price of one. Although Daryl Van Horne views himself as god’s gift to the world, Alexandra believes otherwise. Tired of Daryl’s egotism and seductions, she tells him off with a laundry list of his many negatives. Alexandra’s remarks are warranted as Daryl is, in fact, the devil and likely deserves even harsher words. As repulsed as Alexandra might be by Daryl, she’s not immune to his charms. While his cons outweigh his pros, Daryl is just too tempting for Alexandra to resist.
Do you agree with our list? What hilarious insult broke your funny bone? Please politely leave your response in the comments section and for more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.