Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Randy Marsh on South Park
#10: Getting Temporarily Beaten by Bono “More Crap”
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In a season 11 episode, Randy is given the honor of having the world’s biggest bowel movement as measured by the “European Fecal Standards and Measurements” board. Just as he is about to receive his prize, U2’s Bono chimes in with the news that he topped Randy’s effort. Feeling thoroughly defeated, Randy sits on his back porch and cries. Although it's an absolutely ridiculous situation, we can’t help but feel a little bad for Randy when we see him fall short after coming so close to success. Thankfully, he’s given a second chance and is able to claim the record he was straining for by the end of the episode.
#9: Attacked by Ninjas and Caged Like a Rabbit “Fantastic Easter Special”
“South Park” decided to offer their own explanation as to how a bunny is connected to a Christian celebration about resurrection. While the Marsh family is coloring eggs for the annual holiday, Stan asks his father what the religious connection is. Unfortunately, such is the case with most South Park episodes, his curiosity causes his world to unravel. After finding his Dad wearing bunny accessories, Randy decides that it’s time to tell his son the truth about Easter. However, before Stan is able to find out what that truth is, Randy and other members of the “Hare Club For Men” are ambushed by ninjas. Once captured, they’re thrown in a cage by Bill Donohue. Although we feel bad that he’s stuck in a cage, you can’t help but sympathize and laugh at Randy’s predicament.
#8: Getting Startled “Pandemic”, “Pandemic 2: The Startling”
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In this memorable two-parter, “South Park” is overrun by the “furry death”. While viewers at home see a bunch of adorable guinea pigs hilariously wandering the streets, the town residents see them as terrifying monsters. As chaos ensues, Randy insists on using his new video camera to tape anything and everything going on around him and his family. Randy’s shaky cam “found footage” showcases how deeply “startled” he and his family really are. In the end, we don’t know what’s worse; Randy constantly getting startled or facing Sharon’s wraith when she’s had it with his shenanigans.
#7: Losing His Job “About Last Night”
In 2008, Barack Obama was elected into the White House as the first African-American president. His composed demeanour seemed to give people hope for a post-Bush era. And No one celebrated his win more than Randy Marsh in “South Park”. Drunk off the notion of Obama’s “change” campaign and a fair share of beers, Randy takes to the streets to celebrate. He sings, dances, flips cops cars and tells his boss off. But after sobering up, he learns he’s been fired. From there, Randy hops on the “blame Obama” bandwagon and his attitude shifts quickly. Although it sucks to lose a job, Randy should’ve seen it coming. Cursing out your boss is never a great idea. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time Randy lost his job. . .
#6: Falcorn’s Demise “Make Love, Not Warcraft”
In this episode, the titular game is being taken over by a troll who seemingly has the ability to take anyone out at any time. When Randy starts playing as Falcorn, Stan doesn’t want to be seen with his dad in-game. Ironically, he ends up being the key to ending the troll. It’s fascinating to see how invested he gets into the online game. As Randy puts it: So when Falcorn is killed, it’s a truly tragic moment for Randy. But we also get a good laugh at his over-the-top demise.
#5: The Perils of a Boy Band “Something You Can Do With Your Finger”
Randy Marsh. . . was in a boy band???? In this season four episode, Upon hearing that his son wants to start a similar style group with his friends, Randy is adamant about keeping Stan away from bands. After smashing a cabinet in the living room, we learn about Randy’s sad history and find out that he was a member of “The Ghetto Avenue Boys”. His story is a classic triumphant rise to stardom that is followed by a tragic crash from fame. His sad story reflects the fate of real life boy-band groups. It’s a sobering illustration of the often unseen side of momentary fame.
#4: Being Judged For His Bathroom Choice “The Cissy”
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So let’s get this straight. Stan can’t be in a boy-band, but his dad is secretly an electro pop singer from New Zealand? In season 18’s “The Cissy”, “South Park” addressed the right for transgender people to use their bathroom of choice. It turns out that by using the women's bathroom at work, Randy was inspired to write songs and eventually become the singer Lorde. When Randy, as Lorde, is asked by his boss to use a special executive bathroom instead of the women’s, the show drives home the central theme. Randy feels truly saddened that he can’t use the bathroom he feels most comfortable in without judgement. It’s a carefully crafted moment that draws parallels to real life struggles transgender people experience far too often.
#3: Getting Beat Up and Arrested At Little League Games “The Losing Edge”
A quick search on Google will show you that getting arrested at a little league game happens more often than you’d think. But on “South Park”, Randy has taken the art of being dragged away by police to a whole new level. Over the course of this season nine episode, Randy is arrested time and time again for fighting at Little League games. Ironically, his boys are trying to do their best to lose every game they play. Seeing as Randy has gone so far as to train for these bleacher brawls, we want to just shake our heads knowing that poor Stan’s dad will never learn. However, it’s somewhat odd yet totally hilarious seeing him get arrested for something he’s weirdly passionate about.
#2: The Tides of Change “You’re Getting Old”
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In the middle of season 15, “South Park” aired one of it’s most self-aware episodes ever. After turning 10, Stan’s world seems to fall apart while his father comes to grips with how unhappy he’s become. With Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide” playing, we see Randy break the news to his son that he and Sharon are splitting. As Randy drives away, he glances in the rearview mirror and sees the road behind him. It’s a simple visual that illustrates the inevitability of change for both Randy and the show itself. Fortunately, at the end of the following episode, Randy gets back with Sharon and everything goes back normal.
#1: Worst. Security. Guard. Shift. Ever. “Black Friday”
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It’s almost Black Friday in “South Park” and Randy has taken a job as a mall security guard. Although he just hoped to beat the big crowd to the sales, Randy isn’t prepared for what these crazed shoppers are willing to do. While attempting to pass out wristbands to everyone waiting in line, Randy is attacked by a crowd of eager shoppers. He’s swarmed by so many people that he can’t even get to his feet. And to make matters worse, Randy has to watch as a coworker meets his end right in front of him. Randy’s harrowing experience is a brutal critique of how badly shoppers have behaved during real Black Friday events.
