Top 10 Craziest Things Randy Marsh Has Done
#10: The Little League Fights "The Losing Edge"
Top 10 Worst Things Randy Marsh Has Done
When Stan takes up Little League Baseball with the other boys, Randy comes to every game, but not because he wants to support his son. Randy takes personal pride in getting into drunken fistfights with the other dads of the opposing teams. Rather than focus on supporting his son, Randy manages to make the games all about him and his fights, which become increasingly more violent and ridiculous, to the point it becomes a matter of personal honor for him. Fortunately, Stan wasn’t that invested in baseball to begin with. Heaven help him if he had been!
#9: Buying a Blockbuster "A Nightmare on Face Time"
Randy has made plenty of brash decisions in the past, but impulsively buying a Blockbuster is one of the most tactless, especially in a time where the market for home video is dying. Despite the inevitable lack of customers, Randy is adamant about running the store the best he can. He paid good money for it and it’s a mistake he refuses to admit to, from his Shining-esque fall into insanity to the store ultimately burning down. After losing it all and freezing up outside, he seems to cut his losses and, all things considered, take it well.
#8: Derailing a Production of ‘Wicked’ "Broadway Bro Down"
Randy figures out the effect that stage musicals can have on the sex drive of men’s wives, and naturally decides to write the ultimate subliminally sexual musical to achieve greater results for men everywhere. His plan backfires when his daughter Shelly goes to see a musical with a boy. Most fathers want to protect their daughters from boys, but not all of them overturn an entire musical performance and assault the orchestra and cast, all whilst wearing a Spider-Man costume. The icing on the cake; Shelley’s date dies as a result. Nice one, Randy.
#7: Hiring an Actor to Manipulate Stan "My Future Self 'n' Me"
Randy has the difficult task of educating Stan about the dangers of drugs. But rather than simply explain the dangers to him, Randy hires an actor to play Stan’s drug addict future-self as a way to scare Stan away from drugs. Stan inevitably discovers the truth, but Randy commits to the lie instead of coming clean to his son, and goes to extreme lengths to sell the lie, to the point he cuts off the actor's hand when Stan appears to do the same. Soon enough, Randy finally does sit down with Stan and talk honestly with him like a good father... Hand-chopping aside.
#6: Obsession with Cooking Shows "Crème Fraîche"
Top 10 Insane My Crazy Obsession Episodes
After binging a smorgasbord of shows on the Food Network, Randy takes to cooking with the enthusiasm of a sexual fetish. It may seem out of character for the childish alcoholic, but nevertheless the hobby consumes his life to the point where he doesn’t sleep and neglects his family. His obsession with perfecting his culinary delights gets him a job as the school cafeteria chef, but his dishes are far too ambitious. His ambition is almost admirable, but there’s something inherently disturbing about his love for his trademark Crème Fraîche and the pleasure that cooking gives him.
#5: Forcing Stan to Kill an Alien "Pinewood Derby"
Most dads want to help their boys win contests, but not all of them steal a superconducting magnet from the Large Hadron Collider to boost their kid’s pinewood derby car. Randy steals the spotlight from his son when the car hits warp speed and catches the attention of a supposed alien criminal. When the alien takes them hostage and forces them to build another car, Randy fashions a shank and encourage his nine-year-old son to commit murder. Randy takes it further afterwards by micromanaging how the world spends the alien’s stolen space loot… Oh yeah, and nuking Finland.
#4: Dropping the Biggest Deuce "More Crap"
Randy takes great pride in any accomplishments, as evident when he preserves the largest stool he, or anyone, has ever passed for his friends and family to... “admire.” His conceit over his creation brings him to tears and is stronger even than his love for his own children. Randy soon adjusts his diet and lifestyle with hopes of producing a second, larger turd to reclaim his stolen title from Bono. The result is tremendous; he produces an inhumanly massive crap and swirls up the monster as he passes it. We all knew Randy was full of it, but that’s ridiculous.
#3: Leading a Double-Life as Lorde Various Episodes
The final joke of Season 18’s second episode was simple enough; Randy poorly imitating Lorde at the boys’ party as a last resort. But Parker and Stone took the joke to new heights in the follow-up when they revealed that Randy, through the use of auto-tune and vocal enhancements, truly was the New Zealand singer. As the brainchild of one of music’s more unconventional female artists, Randy fuses messages of progression and empowerment with more mundane ideas, such as helping unload the car and feeling good on a Wednesday. Genius satirical writing? Yah-Yah-Yah.
#2: Being Offensive on National Television "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson"
Having made it to the bonus round on a live episode of “Wheel of Fortune,” Randy is a single letter away from victory. With initial reluctance but eventual confidence, he shouts out the highly offensive expletive to the shock of everyone watching (including his family, friends, and many African-Americans). The blunder is amplified to even worse implications when taking into account that Randy’s category was “People Who ANNOY You.” In Randy’s defence, did you consider “naggers” first? Faced with the prospect of winning big, BIG money, would you not do the same? No. Probably. We hope not. Before we get to our top pick, here are some honorable mentions. The Hare Club for Men "Fantastic Easter Special" Starting a Weed Farm Various Episodes Becoming Steamy Ray Vaughn "You're Getting Old" Worshiping the Economy Like a God "Margaritaville" Having a Virgin Mary Statue Bleed on Him "Bloody Mary"
#1: Purposefully Contracting Testicular Cancer "Medicinal Fried Chicken"
When a medicinal marijuana dispensary opens in the town, Randy goes beyond the limits of even the most insane potheads to qualify for a prescription. Trying every creative trick he can think of to contract cancer, Randy soon resorts to zapping his cojones with microwave radiation: his blatant disregard for his own health pays off, and he uses his cancer-ridden man-parts not just to qualify for weed, but to travel around town too. It isn’t long before he brags about his “privileges” to the other men and they follow his example. They don’t call them high hopes for nothing!
