Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Lois Lane
VOICE OVER: Adrian Sousa
WRITTEN BY: Thomas O'Connor
Written by Thomas O'Connor
Being Superman's romantic partner has some pretty major downsides. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we're counting down the Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Lois Lane.
For this list, we're looking at some of the times throughout her comic book history that Lois Lane's life became a living hell, mostly thanks to Superman. Lois, maybe it's time you explored other options.
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Being Superman’s romantic partner has some pretty major downsides. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down the Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Lois Lane.
For this list, we’re looking at some of the times throughout her comic book history that Lois Lane’s life became a living hell, mostly thanks to Superman. Lois, maybe it’s time you explored other options.
#10: She was Body Shamed by Superman
This is the first entry on our list from the now-infamous comic series “Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane”, which prominently featured horrible things happening to its title character, many of them inflicted by Superman himself. In the fifth issue of this series, Lois grows overweight after being exposed to a mysterious ray. Rather than accepting her new body type, Superman spends much of the issue making awful comments about her weight. And the worst part? It was all engineered -by- Superman in order to get some mobsters off of Lois’ trail after she testified in a case against them. We’re not sure why he couldn’t have just gotten her a wig.
#9: She was Tricked Into Thinking She'd Killed a Dog
And when the Man of Steel wasn’t attacking Lois’s body, he was pulling stunts like this. After Lois is nearly killed while trying to get a scoop, Superman once again swoops in to save her. After saving her, Supes chides Lois on her recklessness, and hatches one of many plans intended to “teach her a lesson”. The next day, Superman tricks Lois into thinking she’d killed a dog that ate an ice cream cone intended for her. In reality, the “dead dog” is actually Krypto with a coat of black paint. How this hare-brained scheme was supposed to teach Lois responsibility instead of just traumatizing her is beyond us.
#8: She was Turned Into a Demon and Nearly Married Satan
Now this one is just plain weird. In this story, Lois falls for the enchanting Rajah Satdev. But after drinking a mysterious liquid that the Rajah had been enjoying, Lois grows horns and a tail and learns his terrible secret. It turns out that Lois’s new beau is none other than the Devil himself, and he’s come to collect for the time that Lois said she’d sell her soul for a headline. Lois is whisked off to the underworld, where she further learns that her husband to be is actually alien, and he wants her as his bride. We tried to warn you how weird this one was.
#7: She Almost Died by Poisoning
One of The Joker’s favorite tricks is putting his enemies in a position where they have to choose between their ideals and the lives of those around them. This is his plan in a story where he poisons Lois with a substance of his own creation. The only way to cure her is for The Joker to die himself, forcing the Man of Steel to choose between saving the woman he loves or sticking to his “no killing” policy. After some convincing from Batman, Superman sticks to his guns, letting the Joker live and seemingly allowing Lois to die. At least, until she suddenly recovers because it was all a joke. Yeesh, awkward.
#6: Superman Allowed Parasite to Drain Her Memories
Superman’s had to go to some extreme lengths to wipe his secret identity from Lois’s memories on those occasions where’s she’s found out. In some cases, this can mean a bizarre, memory-erasing “Super-kiss”, but it can get darker. In this story, Superman decides that rather than trust Lois with his secret identity, he’d rather let the villain Parasite feed on her, which partially drains her memories. As far as plans go, it doesn’t get more dangerous and misguided than this one, since Superman had no idea if Lois would survive, and even if Parasite would learn his secret in the process. Not your best idea, Supes.
#5: Superman Charged Her With Murder
One of Superman’s defining characteristics is his unwavering devotion to truth, justice and the rule of law. But sometimes it goes a bit too far. After Lois Lane and her romantic rival Lana get into an argument, the car they’re in goes off a bridge, seemingly killing Lana. Lois is put on trial for Lana’s murder, and Superman acts as the prosecutor. While Superman is trying to put her behind bars, even threatening her with the death penalty, Batman finds out it was all a hoax. Superman relents, citing his need to do things by the book as his justification for his aggressive and callous prosecution of Lois.
#4: Superman Tormented Her to Elicit Emotions
In this story, a movie is in the works about Superman and the Daily Planet, with Superman and the Planet’s staff playing themselves… well, except for Lois, who’s rejected by the film’s director. Superman then acts increasingly hostile towards her, and on-set sabotage is even blamed on Lois. It turns out it was all a ruse by Superman so that Lois’s entirely understandable breakdown could be filmed using hidden cameras and used to convince the director to give her another shot. Apparently trusting Lois to “act” was just out of the question. We’ve heard of directors going to extreme lengths to get authentic performances, but superheroes? This is just straight-up emotional abuse.
#3: Superman as Clark Pretended to Commit Suicide in Front of Her
Lois has had her super-powered lover die in her arms a few times now, like in the famous “Death of Superman” story, and it’s never been easy. But only once has this been a cruel trick by Superman himself. After Lois poses as a famous actress to score an interview, Superman tries to teach her a lesson by proposing to her as Clark Kent. Lois rejects him, and later sees Clark hurtling from the roof of the Daily Planet. Lois thinks Clark has turned to suicide after having his heart broken, and even though he turns up alive and well later, the incident must have left Lois with some emotional scars.
#2: She And Her Son Get Ripped To Shreds by Superman
The Batman who Laughs is a relatively recent creation in the DC Universe. The Batman from an alternate reality who went off the deep end after a dose of Joker toxin, he’s what happens if you gave The Joker all of Batman’s resources and brilliant tactical mind. In order to finish off his universe’s Superman, he exposes The Man of Steel to Black Kryptonite, which drives him mad. In this state, Superman kills his wife Lois, as well as their son, with his bare hands. In a story full of dark, uncomfortable moments, it’s definitely up there as one of the darkest.
Before we reveal our number one pick, here are some of our honorable mentions
Superman Turned into a Caveman and Dragged her Around
She was De-Aged into an Infant
She was Tricked Into Becoming Addicted to a Super Drug
#1: Superman Threw Her, and Their Unborn Child, Into Space
The “Injustice: Gods Among Us” tie-in comic is full of dark, brutal, violent moments, but none so depressing as this one. In the “Injustice” universe, Superman has become a cruel dictator after killing the Joker and becoming a brutal overlord. What made him change gears? The Joker had previously poisoned Superman with a mix of fear toxin and Kryptonite. Under the influence of the toxin, Superman hallucinates that Lois is actually Doomsday, and he pulls his wife and their unborn child, into space. The toxin wears off just in time for her to see her perish. We know they wanted this series to be dark, but this is overkill.