Top 10 Worst Things George Costanza Has Done
#10: Stealing Family Photo
“The Slicer”
When George got hired at Kruger Industrial Smoothing, he noticed something disturbing in his boss’ office: a family photo with George in the background, taken after an intense confrontation. Realizing the photo could cost him his job, George steals it and tries to get himself airbrushed out. However, a series of hilarious misunderstandings lead to the photo becoming completely usable. By the end of the episode, George angrily reveals his deception to Mr. Kruger, and he doesn’t lose his job. However, he does get a reminder of how much hair he’s lost over the years.
#9: Cheating on IQ Test
“The Cafe”
George isn’t exactly confident in his intelligence. When his girlfriend, Monica, has him take an IQ test, he schemes with Elaine to sneak it out the window so she can take it. But trying to take it in the failing Dream Café with distractions like Kramer means Elaine isn’t of much help. Before too long, the ruse is discovered, and George is once again left single. If he spent more time studying and less time coming up with ridiculous plans, who knows how smart he could be? To be fair, he did get a boost in his brainpower in one episode when he was forced to give up sex.
#8: Slipping His Boss a “Mickey”
“The Revenge”
There’s petty, and then there’s George Costanza. When George is reprimanded by his boss at a realty company for using his private bathroom, he angrily quits. Realizing this was a mistake, he goes back to the office to pretend like nothing happened. But he ends up getting fired for good. To get back at his boss, George plots to slip him a Mickey at a company party. And once again, he enlists Elaine’s help in his dastardly deed. If nothing else, George certainly knows the value of friends in low places. In the end, George is still out of a job, and we’re left laughing over his shortsightedness.
#7: Trying to Cheat on Susan
“The Cadillac”
As you’ll see further on in this list, George was the opposite of a good partner to his fianceé, Susan. As his wedding date loomed closer, George became more hesitant about the commitment. Not only does he attempt to cheat on her, but he tries with Marisa Tomei. Upon learning that the Oscar winner is attracted to his kind, George schemes to get in touch with her. While Tomei does fall for him, she's outraged when she learns of his scheme. And Susan ends up thinking he and Elaine are seeing each other. George receives some well-deserved hits for his dishonesty in this episode.
#6: Pretending to Be an Aryan Union Leader
“The Limo”
George has done plenty of bad things, but we could never buy him as a Nazi. However, in one episode, a not-so-innocent lie forced him to pretend to be one. When he and Jerry conned their way into a limo back from the airport in this Season 3 episode, they soon learn it was meant for a white supremacist leader, on his way to an event surrounded by protesters. Realizing there’s no easy way out, George keeps up the facade until he’s left panicking to get out of it. Sometimes, you can get away with dishonesty. Other times, it blows up in your face like it does for George.
#5: Fraudulent Charity
“The Strike”
George seems to be allergic to generosity, so much so that during the holidays, he gives his co-workers donation cards for a charity that doesn’t exist. The so-called “Human Fund” is soon exposed as a fake after his boss, Mr. Kruger, attempts to donate $20,000. And George, realizing he’s been cornered, does the last thing he wants to do: invite his boss to his family’s Festivus celebration. Pretty soon, George’s stinginess and dishonesty has him in an even more uncomfortable situation: about to face his father in the annual “feats of strength.”
#4: Pulling Out IV
“The English Patient”
All’s fair in love and war, but even George should know there are limits. When an attractive woman briefly mistakes George for her boyfriend, Neil, he obsesses over him and does all he can to take his place. An untimely incident with crêpes lands Neil in the hospital with a burnt face, and George figures he’s finally won. However, she stays with her current flame, and George is left tasting defeat. But never one to lose graciously, he pulls out his rival’s IV. Jason Alexander improvised this unbelievably cruel moment, showing just how well he understood the depraved lengths his character will go to.
#3: Pretending to Have a Disability
“The Butter Shave”
The further on the series went, the more shameless George became. In the premiere of the final season, George is hired by a new company, Play Now, in part because they believe he has mobility issues due to his cane usage. He keeps up this charade to the point of getting his own motorized scooter to travel around on. As always, George’s hubris gets the best of him, and he’s exposed as a fraud. Though he doesn’t lose his job in this episode, some more hare-brained thinking in the next installment leaves him once again out of work.
#2: Knocking People Down During a Fire
“The Fire”
George doesn’t know the meaning of sacrifice, as shown by his reaction to a kitchen fire at his girlfriend’s son’s birthday party. As soon as he sees smoke, he’s already bolting for the door, at the expense of the other attendees. This means he’s knocking down everyone he can, from the kids, to an older woman with a walker, to a clown he had an argument with earlier, played by Jon Favreau. When the fire department arrives, George has the gall to pretend he was acting out of courage, not cowardice. But he does get called out, in one of the most defining exchanges in sitcom history.
#1: Accidentally Causing Susan’s Death
“The Invitations”
While George didn’t intentionally cause his fiancée’s death, he did contribute to her untimely demise. When it’s time to send out wedding invitations, the perpetually penny-pinching George opts for cheap envelopes. However, these contain a toxic adhesive, which Susan is exposed to when licking them. She collapses and George and the other three learn of her demise. Based on his indifferent reaction, it’s clear that George is feeling more relief than grief or remorse. Shortly after, he’s trying once again to score a date with Marisa Tomei, and once again, he’s left looking like a total jerk.
