Top 10 WORST N64 Games!

While “South Park” has certainly enjoyed a resurgence on the video game market in recent years, the series was bottom-of-the-barrel crap at the turn of the millennium. “South Park Rally” is a racing game, because nothing screams “South Park” like racing! As you could imagine, Trey Parker and Matt Stone had little involvement in the game, aside from providing the voices, so it’s missing the signature “South Park” humor which makes the show and subsequent games so much fun. This would be forgivable if the go-karting was actually interesting, but it isn’t. The tracks are confusing and the game can be brutally difficult. But hey, that’s Acclaim “South Park” games for you.

This entry in the “Earthworm Jim” series was the first to be developed by a company other than Shiny Entertainment, and it shows. VIS Entertainment was the team behind this game, which was basically a carbon copy of similar platformers of the time like “Super Mario 64,” only about a tenth as good. While the game certainly wasn’t horrendous, it wasn’t exactly good, either. Despite looking great, the game needed work, as the camera was a constant nuisance and Jim controlled like garbage. It was standard platforming fare, but when you’re trying to compete with the likes of “Super Mario 64” or “Banjo Kazooie,” standard is not good enough.

“ClayFighter 63 1/3” is more of a parody game than anything else. It copies many different gameplay elements from older fighting games, and the “63 1/3” title is a play on the “64” which accompanied many games on Nintendo’s console. However, in order for a parody to work, it actually has to be good, which this game certainly isn’t. The character animations were poor, as were the very awkward transitions between stages. The fighting itself was also frustratingly bad, especially when the animation became particularly choppy. But hey, if you have a copy of the Sculptor’s Cut laying around, you can make some good bank on eBay.

The “Mortal Kombat” games are some of the most influential fighting games of all time. While the series has enjoyed a relatively stellar lineup throughout its lifetime, we think everyone and their mothers has forgotten about “Mythologies.” Sorry to bring up past trauma. The game focused on the backstory of Sub-Zero and served as a mix of action/adventure and fighting game, but it succeeded at neither. The game was ugly as sin, and the controls were abysmal. They completely ruined the flow of the game, and for that matter, the entire game itself. We’re just lucky that this game didn’t serve as a fatality for the series.

We hate to pick on games aimed for children, but we gotta do what we gotta do. The game sounds awesome enough: it features fan-favourite villains like Diabolico, and voice clips from the actors are peppered throughout the game. However, no matter how much effort went into making this game pleasing for the fans, they forgot to make it fun. For one thing, the game was ugly, especially considering that it was released in 2000. For another, the game consisted of little more than pressing a button and shooting bad guys ad nauseum. We have a feeling that even the kids would be falling asleep while playing this one.

As if the “John Romero’s about to make you his bitch” slogan wasn’t bad enough. “Daikatana” is from the mind of John Romero, the man involved in some of the best games of the early 90s, including “Doom” and “Quake.” However, technology seemed to be passing John by, as “Daikatana” was hideously dated from the outset. At its E3 demo, the game ran at a disgusting 12 FPS, and what little fan interest remained immediately collapsed. The game was released, and as everyone feared, it was both outdated and boring, making “Daikatana” one of the most disappointing video games ever.

And the children’s game bashing continues! “Hey You, Pickachu!” was certainly an experiment. The game utilized the Nintendo 64’s voice recognition unit, and through using it, you can talk to and control Pikachu. It was a neat idea, and it was the only game released in North America to take advantage of the hardware. Unfortunately, the game behind it was mediocre at best. It was frustratingly tedious, and the voice recognition hardware was consistently touchy. We suppose it would have been decent if you adored Pokemon and were 9-years-old, but if you weren’t, then this game had nothing for you.

It’s really a shame, because the animated movie was so damn good. But, like most movie-tie-in cash grabs, this video game was a steaming pile of crap which was obviously rushed to market to capitalize on the movie. In the game, you control Batman in a side-scrolling beat-em-up, and it is every bit as boring as that sounds. Everything about this game just screams terrible, from the horrible animations to the ugly graphics to the seriously outdated gameplay mechanics. As a 1980s arcade title, this game would have been alright. As a game released in 2000, it’s just pathetic.

Don’t get us wrong, “Carmageddon” is an awesome game, providing you’re playing on the PC. However, when it’s played on anything else, but particularly when it’s played on the N64, it is completely irredeemable. This port took everything which was fun about the original and ruined it. The fluid controls were now jerky and unresponsive. The graphics were muddled and watered down. And, serving as its most vile change, the game altered the humans to zombies. We suppose it was to curb the controversy which the original was subjected to, but that defeats the entire purpose of the game! It was an all-around mess and a huge blemish on the “Carmageddon” name.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions.

“The Powerpuff Girls: Chemical X-traction” (2001)

“Blues Brothers 2000” (2000)

“Rugrats: Scavenger Hunt” (1999)

Was there ever any doubt that this would be number one? “Superman,” which was infamously developed by Titus Software, is now a piece of gaming history, as it is widely regarded to be one of the worst video games ever made. Let’s list some flaws. You have the awful graphics. The terrible controls. The constant clipping and framerate dips. The incredibly stupid enemy AI. The countless glitches. Really, this game was just a mess from top to bottom, and we commend anyone who has actually sat down and finished it, because that is one Herculean task.