Top 10 Times Ron Swanson was a Savage
#10: The Swivel Chair "The Bubble"
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It’s generally known that Ron dislikes the government and thus, the job he’s working at – more on that later. Every so often, we get to see this played out in the series. He has April defer his meetings, cherishes his automatic closing doors, and generally ignores any and all complaints – citizen-made or otherwise. When Chris began making changes around the department in season three, he installed Ron’s worse nightmare: a wall-less, round desk right out in the open. It made it pretty difficult for the director to avoid fraternizing with people, but he’s Ron, so you know he still tried his darndest.
#9: You're On with Ron “Emergency Response”
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Even when Ron is out of his element, he still manages to put his own spin on whatever it is cruel fate would have him do. This episode sees him on “Pawnee Today,” promoting the gala the Parks and Rec crew are hosting to fund Leslie’s Pawnee Commons project. Luckily, the host, Joan Callamezzo, is suffering from a bad hangover – or, uh, from allergies – and Ron gets the air time to himself. He drops some great little Ron nuggets of wisdom all wrapped up in classic Swanson savagery. Just make sure you don’t ask him about celebrity gossip.
#8: The Time He Broke the Coffee Maker "The Fight"
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This might be one of the greatest constructed scenes of the show. Not only is it insanely memeable, it’s also one of the most Ron things ever. It’s just like him to punch something he accidentally hurt himself with and then use such an incident to orchestrate some due workplace chaos. He doesn’t have to do much except ask one damning question: “So, who broke it?” The whodunnit-ness of it all turns the whole office against each other and it’s hilarious. Somehow, we feel like Ron’s ideal work environment is the one with the war paint and pig head on a stick…
#7: When He Pulled Out His Tooth “Andy and April's Fancy Party"
Can you imagine if you were at a work meeting and one of your colleagues began complaining of tooth pain, only to pull out a pair of pliers and yank their tooth out themselves? This a acne that sent us absolutely reeling. Of course, he didn’t actually pull out his tooth, but leading his co-workers to believe he did is Ron Swanson beheavior at its peak. And, he’s right–it is always a good idea to demonstrate unfaltering strength to those around you. So, if you start seeing us tear our own fingernails out, don’t worry about it.
#6: Every Time We’re Reminded of His Diet Various
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Ron has a diet that seems to consist largely of meat, butter, and whiskey – and it can’t be helped. On more than one occasion, we’ll see him stewing in blind rage because he’s hungry, or breaking down at the core when someone tries to replace steak with anything vegetarian. Naturally, his love for greasy foods leads to some pretty unhinged behavior like throwing out the meatless grocery store sample right in front of the worker and hanging out at a strip club for the free breakfast perk. He’s a man who knows what he likes and we can’t fault him for that!
#5: He Can Do What He Wants "Ms. Knope Goes to Washington"
When Ron takes over the "Leslie Knope Employment Enjoyment Summer Slam Grill Jam Fun-Splosion", things go… well, exactly as you think they might. He insists on being in charge of the food, which means… again, exactly what you think it might. He brings a live pig to the event – hilariously named Tom, by the way – and, while this might be seen as a fun opportunity for children to meet livestock it is… very much not that. When the park ranger steps in, Ron reassures him that he has a permit for the task at hand. The permit in question? A paper that says “I can do what I want.” Yeah, sounds about right.
#4: Whenever He Made It Clear That He Did Not Care Various
So many iconic one-liners come from how blatantly candid Ron is at all times. He says what he means and means what he says – and, honestly, we respect that. What’s even more hysterical, though, is how many times he goes out of his way to let people know he doesn’t care. He’ll call others by the wrong name on purpose – if he even learns their name at all – and makes it a point to mind his own business whenever he can. If we had a dollar for every time Ron said he didn’t care…
#3: When He Punched Jeremy Jamm “Leslie and Ben"
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Okay, so Councilman Jeremy Jamm is, objectively, the worst. (And, no, we’re not making that reference yet – give us a few minutes.) When Jamm takes things way too far and crashes Leslie and Ben’s wedding, Ron steps up to the plate. The Parks and Recreation director is generally pretty sour as it is, and it’s certainly not difficult to get on his bad side, but Jamm hits a special kind of nerve, and Ron decides enough is enough. While we’re not condoning physical violence, boy, was it ever satisfying watching him let Jamm have it. To be fair, Ron doesn’t initiate anything and he does give him a warning, so we give this one a pass.
#2: Any Time He Bashes the Government Various
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Ron makes his right-leaning political ideologies very known, part of which include his disdain for the government. If you’ve seen the show, you know this is exactly why he has the job he does – to keep things running as inefficiently as possible. He works hard to be a menace to the big guns and has many plans to overthrow such a system in place. He once ate 40% of a 9-year-old’s lunch to demonstrate how taxes work which is not only so ridiculously chaotic, but also more than likely just because he was hungry. Hey, he can multitask, alright? Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. When His Woodshop Had 28 Violations, "The Possum" Bye-Bye Building Codes The Strongly-Worded Letters, "Anniversaries" The Non-Fat Frozen Yogurt Bar Kind of Deserved It When He Had to Put Up with Jean-Ralphio, Various Because He’s the Wooooorst That Time He Made Rings Out of Ann's Sconce, "Leslie and Ben" He Just Ripped It Clean Off the Wall! When He Was Exceptionally Blunt, "Meet and Greet" This Might Be the Quickest Ron Has Ever Dismissed Someone
#1: When He Hated His Ex-Wives with Every Fiber of His Being Various
With ex-wives as nutty and wicked as Tammy One and Two, we can’t say we blame him. Still, Ron never holds back an inch when chronicling his previous partners and always manages to conjure the most creatively cutting insults for them. It’s as entertaining as it is horrifying. Honestly, there’s not much that can hold a candle to the description of “sewer-dwelling gutter witch”. While we’re glad he ended up with Diane in the end, there’s nothing quite like listening to how barbaric Ron becomes in the face of his exes.
