Top 10 Teen Movies That Wouldn't Work Today
#10: “Jawbreaker” (1999)
Top 10 Jaw-Dropping Moments From Jawbreaker
Inspired by another movie on this list, “Jawbreaker” tells the story of a group of girls who struggle to cope with committing the unintended the murder of their best friend after playing an extreme prank on her. While the dark humor isn’t much to scoff at, the real problem with “Jawbreakers” is how it makes light of slut-shaming and eating disorders. Characters say the girl deserved to be killed, and one of the girls refers to a group of anorexic girls as “the Karen Carpenter table.” Had this movie been made today, there’d be a long list of lines to be cut or rewritten.
#9: “Say Anything…” (1989)
Top 10 Things in Old Hollywood Movies That Wouldn't Work Today
Even if you haven’t seen the movie, you’ll recognize it from the countless movies and TV shows that have referenced it. “Say Anything’s” claim to fame is a scene where Lloyd – played by John Cusack – holds up a boombox below his girlfriend’s bedroom window and plays “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. At the time, the gesture was kind of cute, but it has not aged well, coming off a bit stalker-y given the modern world’s circumstances. Granted, it’s one of the most memorable scenes to come out of '80s cinema, but it’d be impossible to replicate this gesture without making it seem anything less than creepy.
#8: “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (1986)
Ferris Bueller's Day Off Cast: Where Are They Now?
This may be considered a timeless classic by many, but you gotta admit this movie has not aged well. The titular character – played by Matthew Broderick – pretends to be sick so he can run around town with his friends, while his school principal tries to expose his lies. Aside from the cheesy, over-the-top acting, the characters just aren’t that likable anymore. Ferris comes off as a sociopathic jackass, and Cameron clearly has some serious daddy issues. With a plot that sounds like it was made for a straight-to-video kids movie, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” probably wouldn’t have gotten made if pitched to studios today.
#7: “Sixteen Candles” (1984)
Ah, another widely-considered “'80s classic”. “Sixteen Candles” may be known as one of the most romantic teen movies, but there’s a few problems that would cause modern audiences to walk out and demand refunds. For starters, there’s Long Duk Dong, who has become more of an offensive stereotype than a character to be taken seriously. Then, there’s a whole scene where one guy allows someone to go have sex with his black-out drunk girlfriend. We’ll never forget the beautiful relationship between Sam and Jake, but as for the rest of the film? Please, let us repress!
#6: “She’s All That” (1999)
Top 10 2000s Teen Movie Moments That Wouldn't Work Today
It’s the movie that birthed one of Hollywood’s biggest cliches… When a young man is dumped by his self-absorbed girlfriend, his friend challenges him to turn any girl in the school into Prom Queen, and the winner is Laney Boggs, the school’s dorky, awkward artist. Can you guess what happens later on? Yep, she loses the glasses and instantly becomes attractive. How predictable...and superficial. It’s a trope that would become common throughout the 2000’s, and regarding today’s adolescent girls struggling to maintain body positivity, it just sends out the wrong messages.
#5: “Risky Business” (1983)
In this Tom Cruise classic, high school senior Joel Goodson decides to party it up while his parents are out of town. As a result of his best friend sending him a trans call girl – who is ultimately paid to leave – Joel meets a prostitute named Lana, and the two get frisky for the whole night. Besides the prostitution, does any of this seem off? Oh, how about the fact that Lana is sleeping with a minor? One could argue Joel is eighteen and on the verge of graduating, but even then, its borderline pedophilia. It just makes the whole movie really uncomfortable to sit through.
#4: “Heathers” (1988)
Heathers VS Mean Girls: Which is the Better Teen Movie?
In this teen movie satire, a young, aspiring writer falls for a bad boy after he shoots the school bullies for calling him a homophobic slur. Throughout the film, one can expect sexual assault, jokes about suicide, and enough talk about gun violence to make the film come off as insensitive. It’s no secret that shootings in general have become more frequent as of late, which made us question why “Heathers” was adapted into a TV series... in 2018. Yeah, that didn’t go well with audiences nor distributors, but that’s a story for another list.
#3: “Revenge of the Nerds” (1984)
Top 10 Teen Movie References in Do Revenge
Before “Big Bang Theory” alienated an entire culture, we had “Revenge of the Nerds”, a comedy where a group of nerds turn the tables on a jock fraternity, as well as its sister sorority. Unfortunately, the offensive material goes deeper than just stereotypes; the nerds engage in a lot of perverted behavior such as voyeurism, dressing up like a girl to sleep with someone’s girlfriend, and even selling pies that include nude photos of the sorority girls. This kind of behavior is simply not tolerated in today’s time, especially given how important the #MeToo movement has become.
#2: “Weird Science” (1985)
Top 10 Weird Movies
This movie is just wrong on so many levels. “Weird Science” follows the story of two student outcasts who use a computer to create the woman of their dreams. It's not the night of debauchery or the heavy focus on “every boy’s wet dream” that’s bothersome today – it’s how the film plays off of objectifying women. Yes, the film’s concept is silly, but if Lisa’s party-girl mannerisms are the boys’ idea of “a perfect woman”, there’d be some serious backlash from modern audiences. Funny enough, a remake has been planned since 2013, but no progress has been made beyond its announcement. Before we reveal our top pick, here are a few Honorable (or Dishonorable) Mentions… “Cruel Intentions” (1999) “Can’t Hardly Wait” (1998) “Pleasantville” (1998) “License to Drive” (1988) “Twilight” (2008)
#1: “Soul Man” (1986)
Top 10 Awesome Easter Eggs You Missed in Soul
We’re used to seeing bad comedies rely on tasteless jokes, but this is just one massive, racist gag. When his parents end up using his college fund for their own needs, rich kid Mark applies to a scholarship intended for black students – lying about his ethnicity to do so, and effectively getting into Harvard. While it does present the issue of racism in America, “Soul Man” is so on-the-nose about it that it ends up becoming tasteless. Much of its commentary can, sadly, be applied today, but if you were to pitch this to a studio, you’d most likely end up banned from the film industry.