Top 10 Stupidest Live-Action TV Characters
#10: Hitchcock & Scully “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” (2013-)
These two began the show as minor recurring characters, but they proved so popular with the audience that their roles were greatly expanded in later seasons. Sometimes the pair aren’t so much stupid, as just really, really lazy and unmotivated, stereotypical cops who would rather eat donuts than do any actual work. Other times, however, you genuinely wonder how they became professionals in the first place. They’ve set the sink on fire and “solved” a case by identifying a so-called “cookie pizza”; also, Hitchcock once literally consumes a goldfish. We can’t say for sure if they’re truly stupid or just horribly careless, but what we do know is that they are gut-bustingly hilarious.
#9: Kelly Bundy “Married… with Children” (1987-97)
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Kelly Bundy is one of TV’s examples of Flanderization, which is when a character’s trait becomes grossly exaggerated to the point of parody. In the earlier episodes, Kelly wasn’t really into school or studying, but she certainly wasn’t stupid. However, “not into school” quickly progressed into “full-on stupid,” and so one of TV’s most iconic airheads was born. Kelly fully inhabits the “dumb blonde” trope, a total ditz more concerned with being popular than respectable. Eventually she can barely read, and in one episode she legit thinks that her brother is the family dog. Her stupidity is funny, yes, but it also veers into the realm of absurdity.
#8: Rose Nylund “The Golden Girls” (1985-92)
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Every group of friends has got one, and for The Golden Girls, the role of ditz goes to Betty White’s Rose Nylund. Sophia once famously said “Your heart’s in the right place Rose, but I don’t know where the hell your brain is.” That perfectly sums up the character of Rose. She’s easily the sweetest member of the group and consistently comes off as an innocent country girl, but she can be a real dummy. Rose has got lot of notably juvenile qualities: she still pursues childish hobbies like playing hide and seek, asks some truly stupid but hilarious questions, and has a hard time detecting sarcasm, instead choosing to take even the most nonsensical comments at face value. You gotta love her, though!
#7: Taco MacArthur “The League” (2009-15)
“The League” is a sitcom about the members of a fantasy football league. They’re all quirky in their own ways, but Taco MacArthur, played by Canadian comedian Jon Lajoie, takes the title of “dumbest” by being basically every stoner stereotype rolled into one hilarious package. Taco is actually a smart person and can prove ambitious and talented, but his brainpower is greatly inhibited by his heavy toking habit. He lives in a perpetual dopey haze, and seems perfectly content mooching off his older brother and dumpster diving. Most of the time he doesn’t even know what’s going on within the league itself, showing very little interest in football. He might not be the sharpest… but he can always be counted on for a song and laugh!
#6: Andy Dwyer “Parks & Recreation” (2009-15)
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Andy Dwyer is another character who got progressively dumber as his series progressed. In season one, Andy is portrayed as an immature man-child and serves as the counterpoint to his girlfriend Ann’s growing ambition and maturity. The writers eventually decided to make him far dumber, and before long, he doesn’t know his right from left, thinkst Venezuela was “across the pond,” and genuinely believes that Buckingham Palace is Hogwarts. He also has a big problem staying focused and is sure to be distracted by the slightest movement or shiny object. You know, like a dog. But… much like with a dog, we can’t help but be endeared by his lovable silliness.
#5: G.O.B. Bluth “Arrested Development” (2003-06; 2013-)
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Let’s be honest here, many of the Bluths act in very unintelligent ways. But G.O.B. is something else entirely. It’s no surprise that he’s failed as a magician, because all of his . . . illusions are downright terrible. He’s also not overly respected at The Bluth Company because A) he’s grossly incompetent, and B) he treats everyone like dirt. He also manages to ruin MANY plans due to his idiocy, like when he throws an insurance claim into the ocean . . . and can we address the fact that he continuously tries to throw the letter into the wind? Also, let’s not forget Franklin, his incredibly offensive puppet that gets him into trouble on more than one occasion. Yep… G.O.B. has earned his place on this list.
#4: Joey Tribbiani “Friends” (1994-2004)
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This particular group of friends had not one, but two not-so-bright members in Joey and Phoebe. But while Phoebe is a little airheaded, Joey is a legitimate, though lovable, dummy. So much so that we sometimes genuinely wonder how he manages to care for himself. Remember when he thinks “moot point” was “moo point” because cows don’t have opinions? Or when he gets confused on “Pyramid” and thinks people put ghosts in their coffee? By the end of the series, he’s portrayed as so dense that he literally can’t mirror sounds, as when Phoebe tries to teach him French. Even toddlers can mirror sounds. Is Joey dumber than a toddler? Hey, we’ll let you decide.
#3: Michael Kelso “That ‘70s Show” (1998-2006)
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We’d chalk up Kelso’s stupidity to the constant pot use, but nah, we think it predates drugs. Like many of Ashton Kutcher’s characters, Kelso is a complete buffoon and serves as the primary comedic force of the group. But might the writers have made him TOO stupid? The other characters, especially Red and Hyde, constantly call him out on his stupidity, and even his girlfriend Jackie gets fed up from time to time. For example, remember when Jackie tries convincing Kelso to come over to “study,” and Kelso legitimately thinks they are going over to study? Or when he doesn’t get the hint and refuses to give her his jacket? Honestly, we don’t know why she kept him around as long as she did.
#2: Charlie Kelly “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” (2005-)
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Charlie is a hard worker; we’ll give him that much. He’s the only one who actually seems to do any work around the bar, and as degrading as that work often is, he takes a certain amount of admirable pride in it. Unfortunately, he is also dumber than a bag of rocks. He can’t read or write, he has a ton of odd, disgusting habits, and he suffers from some insane delusions of grandeur. He also lacks any semblance of social awareness, as he struggles to fit in and seems completely oblivious to the waitress’s obvious discomfort. We don’t know if Charlie is stupid or if he’s just slowly going insane. Come to think of it, perhaps this is a case of both! Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions: David Puddy “Seinfeld” (1989-98) Gomer & Goober Pyle “The Andy Griffith Show” (1960-68) Brittany Pierce “Glee” (2009-15) Woody Boyd “Cheers” (1982-93)
#1: Kevin Malone “The Office” (2005-13)
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Kevin is another character hit hard by Flanderization. In the beginning of the show, Kevin is a goofy, but certainly not stupid, accountant. Despite the odd moment here and there, we buy into him as a legitimate employee of the company. But as the series progresses, eventually he begins to speak in a slower, more stereotypically stupid voice, constantly acts like a child, and can barely even string a coherent sentence together. In fact, newcomer Holly Flax genuinely believes that he’s challenged. Kevin is hilarious, and we would love to try his famous chili some day, but we can’t help but question how he manages to work as an accountant for so long.
