Top 10 South Park Moments That Will Haunt Your Nightmares
#10: Chef’s Girlfriend
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“The Succubus” In this season 3 episode, the boys don’t appreciate Chef’s new girlfriend, Veronica. It’s not just that she’s keeping Chef from spending time with them—she’s also changing him. Naturally, they suspect that she’s a succubus preying on Chef, which—despite the odds— is later confirmed to be true when she transforms in front of them. To call her true form “grotesque” is an understatement. Her eyes become red, her face becomes sunken, and she sprouts a giant set of wings with a demonic voice to match. Chef definitely dodged a bullet when the boys exposed this soul-sucking beast.
#9: How the NSA Collects Information
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“Let Go, Let Gov” When Cartman sneaks his way into the NSA as a job applicant, the chief reveals to him the horrifying truth of how they’re able to keep tabs on everyone. The NSA has kidnapped Santa and hooked him up to some sort of super computer—attaching tubes throughout his body. Although this method is cruel, it does make pragmatic sense as Santa is able to spy on people and has a lot of information on their behavior. But the ends most certainly do NOT justify the means in this case. Many a child has dreamt of coming face to face with Kris Kringle; after this episode, you’re left singing a very different tune.
#8: Trapper Keeper Absorbs Cartman
“Trapper Keeper” As part of his school supplies for the new year, Cartman gets a state of the art trapper keeper that is not only stylish, but can do all kinds of cool things. Unfortunately, the sophisticated technology proves too much for Cartman and eventually absorbs him—going on a rampage to bring about a futuristic apocalypse. The part of the episode where Cartman turns into a trapper keeper hybrid is an excellent display of body horror. He transforms into a complete monstrosity with a monotone robot voice and tentacles that grab everything in sight.
#7: Scott Tenorman’s Parents
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“Scott Tenorman Must Die” You knew this scene would make the list. Like all great nightmare fuel moments, this moment came totally out of left field the first time the episode aired. We all knew Cartman was vindictive. But we didn’t know the depths of his depravity until we saw him feed Scott Tenorman the remains of his parents in a bowl of chili. He then gleefully licks the boy’s tears. As if Cartman’s twisted plan and his cold explanation weren’t disturbing enough, he caps off the episode by imitating Porky Pig: [broll: “That’s all Folks!”] It’s the cherry on top of a thoroughly stomach-churning moment.
#6: ManBearPig
Various When we first hear from Al Gore about a creature that’s “half man, half bear, and half pig,” the idea sounds pretty silly—not to mention a mathematical impossibility. However, upon seeing ManBearPig in later episodes, we felt very differently. It is downright terrifying. ManBearPig is brutal and unstoppable - and if you should be unlucky enough to get too close, it will rip you in half with ease. While it doubles as a metaphor for climate change, this demonic and bloodthirsty monster is also just nightmare fuel in its own right.
#5: Red Shirt Makes a Run for It
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“City on the Edge of Forever” After a mishap leaves the school bus suspended over a cliff, the bus driver, Ms. Crabtree, tells the children to stay put while she goes off to look for help. To keep the kids on the bus, she warns them that a monster is lurking outside. Hours later, one of the kids decides to leave the bus, but we know from the color of the kid’s shirt it doesn’t look good for him. Sure enough, the monster is actually real, which red shirt kid finds out much too late. The monster is minimalistic in design, but with its classic horror movie playbook, it still manages to inspire a healthy dose of terror.
#4: Cartman’s Sinister Plan
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“Ginger Kids” Hoping to teach Cartman about tolerance, Stan and Kyle trick Cartman into thinking he’s become a “ginger.” This is, of course, the term Cartman uses disparagingly toward people with red hair and a fair complexion. This backfires, however, as Cartman instead becomes leader of the “gingers” and plans to round up the “non-ginger” kids. What does Cartman intend to do with them? Let’s just say his plan involves cages and lava. As disturbing as Cartman’s machinations are, the rounding up part is equally as creepy. When the “non-ginger” kids are taken out of their homes in the night, it’s truly the stuff of nightmares.
#3: Kenny’s Deaths
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Various In early seasons, Kenny met his maker in almost every episode. This tragedy usually came as the result of a freak accident, such as an object falling on him or a wild animal attack. The ways that Kenny met his end were diverse and incredibly graphic, especially since this was happening to a child. It’s later revealed that Kenny is able to come back to life repeatedly because his parents were once involved with a Cthulhu cult. So Kenny’s predicament, while worthy of a place on our list even when taken at face value, is actually a nightmare of Lovecraftian proportions.
#2: Cartman Closes His Eyes
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“Helen Keller: The Musical” Struggling to come up with ideas for his Helen Keller musical, Cartman is instructed to close his eyes so he can get inside the head of the famous figure. From there, we get a window into Cartman’s mind - and it’s even more disturbing than expected. A montage of images follows, from bombs being dropped and the Hindenburg crashing to various other examples of misery, cruelty, and disaster — all shown with eerie music in the background. None of it phases Cartman, however, as it’s all just a day in the mind of this twisted young man. For the rest of us, these images are some of the last things we want to think about before drifting off to sleep. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. Cartman’s Ritalin Hallucinations, “Timmy 2000” These Christina Aguilera Monsters Still Haunt Us Randy Deep Sixes Winnie the Pooh, “Band in China” This Would Make Any Kid Cry Stunt Gone Wrong, “Fat Camp” Who Would Watch This? Tom & Mary, “Cow Days” They Were Left to Literally Rot in Jail
#1: Woodland Critters
“Woodland Critter Christmas” In this Christmas special, the Woodland Critters look wholesome and cute. But because this is “South Park,” there’s obviously got to be a catch. Well, it turns out that they’re all a bunch of devil worshippers who want to usher in a new dark age by summoning the Antichrist. This reveal comes completely out of nowhere, leaving the viewer stunned. All of a sudden, the Woodland Critters don’t look so cute anymore. The episode turns up the intensity when the critters engage in ritualistic sacrifice and use their demonic powers.
