Top 10 Disasters the Town of South Park Survived
#10: The Seniors Take Over “Grey Dawn”
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There’s been a rash of deaths in South Park attributed to drivers in their golden years. When all the seniors get together to discuss the DMV’s plan to revoke their licenses, Randy tries to warn everybody. Whether it’s cars driving through a funeral, into a lake or even up a bunch of stairs, the residents are forced in any direction to try and save themselves. The situation is worsened when Stan’s grandpa calls the AARP and the seniors try to take over the town. It may be far over the top, but in true South Park fashion, there’s a grain of truth in the story they tell.
#9: Killer Guinea Pigs “Pandemic”, “Pandemic 2: The Startling
Long before Covid hit the real world, South Park experienced its first pandemic: Peruvian flute bands. They’re popping up everywhere and before you know it, the government decides to ban them all. This of course leads to the unleashing of gigantic guinea pigs onto the world as the flute bands were the only thing keeping them at bay. How could we have not seen that coming? What makes this disaster so noteworthy is the use of live action guinea pigs, particularly those dressed in costume, seen aimlessly wandering the animated town. It’s one of the rare times live action is inter-mixed with animation in this show and the result is hilarious.
#8: Giant Smoking Snake “Summer Sucks”
As kids, we all were excited for summer to arrive knowing we didn’t have to go to school. In South Park however, the opposite is true. The kids are disappointed because there’s no snow for wintertime activities. Add to that, a recent ban on fireworks has the town’s 4th of July holidays looking bleak. Fear not as they decide to make the world’s largest black snake in lieu of fireworks. In true South Park fashion, the giant snake cloud overtakes the town. Destroying buildings in its path, burning people, and seamlessly out of control, where will it end? Turns out, illegal fireworks saved the day bringing black ash down on everyone. Maybe banning them wasn’t such a good idea after all?
#7: Attack of the Turkeys “Starvin’ Marvin”
What could possibly go wrong when you genetically modify turkeys to help feed the poor? Apparently, they will go crazy, reproduce on their own, and begin attacking humans. Soon enough, the town becomes overrun by large hoards of very angry turkeys who are waging war on the townsfolk. Pecking away at anyone they get close to, the turkeys overrun the town and its residents until Chef launches a counter-attack. In a great nod to the film Braveheart, we get to see both Chef and the turkeys do their own rendition of William Wallce’s speech. Luckily, the turkeys don’t seem to put up that big of a fight, and the citizens are able to defeat them.
#6: Super-Sized Mickey Mouse “The Ring”
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He’s not the first giant monster on this list, and he won’t be the last. Throughout its run, South Park has never shied away from poking fun at anyone. But their take on this iconic Disney character is certainly memorable. Here Mickey is portrayed as a violent, power hungry executive who is willing to go to any lengths to get what he wants. When the cat gets out of the bag and the world learns of his true nature, South Park takes the brunt of it. Transforming into a giant fire-breathing version of himself, Mickey goes on a rampage destroying buildings and setting people afire. As always, chaos ensues.
#5: Bulldozed by an Alien Wrecking Ball “Cancelled”
Over the years, there’ve been times when South Park hasn’t been afraid to poke fun at itself. The season seven premiere is a prime example. The boys learn that Earth is actually an alien reality show and is now in danger of being cancelled. The aliens are about to demolish Earth as the boys do their best to stop it. As a bulldozer and wrecking ball starts smashing away at the planet, earthquakes run amok. It’s done in the same vein as the Vogons did in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but with less finesse and with a far more comedic touch.
#4: Satan & Saddam’s Return “South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut”
Who would have thought Kyle’s mom would have brought on a war between the US and Canada. Actually, not so surprising to most fans as she’s been the cause of much turmoil in the town. But this time around, the fight brings on countless deaths across South Park and the country. It only gets worse when Terrance & Phillip are executed despite being innocent of any crime. It literally brings hell to Earth when Satan and Saddam rise from below and wreak destruction. You’d think after everything she’s done already she’d know when to quit? Cue Eric’s faulty v-chip, and at least he’s able to take down Saddam before Satan delivers the final blow.
#3: Cartman’s Trapper Keeper “Trapper Keeper”
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Fans of Dawson’s Creek beware: your trapper keeper may try to destroy you. It’s Kyle vs Cartman at the bus stop as the two try to show off their fancy new trapper keepers. As always, Cartman needs to best Kyle as he shows off how his can hybridize with any other piece of tech. This goes horribly wrong as it absorbs both his computer and Cartman itself. From there, it becomes its own entity, destroying Cartman’s house and then going on a rampage as it heads towards the Cheyenne Mountain military complex. We’re not sure what is more disturbing; A giant blob wandering the streets destroying everything or the fact that eating Rosie O’Donnell ultimately destroys it. Thankfully, Cartman survives as does the town.
#2: A Fear of Climate Change “Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow”
While pretending to drive a boat, Stan & Cartman actually take it out on the water. Not knowing how to drive, they inadvertently plow through a large beaver dam, causing a massive flood in Beaverton. When the news reports that global warming is the cause of the flood, it triggers a massive panic by the people of South Park. Everyone in town is convinced that global warming is coming to get them. Running through the streets, a man is trampled by...nothing. Even Randy’s excursion through the town in a snowsuit is completely unnecessary, but they’re all convinced something terrible has happened. It’s a literal non-disaster blown into a large-scale panic. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. Massive Hippie Jam Festival, “Die Hippie Die” One Drum Circle Becomes a Massive Concert Volcano Eruption, “Volcano” Hunting With Uncle Jimbo Just Got a Lot More Interesting Brainwashed by Chinpokomon, “Chinpokomon” Something the Kids Get That Parents Never Will A Nuclear Bomb Inside Hillary Clinton, “The Snuke” A Fantastic Nod to “24” Zombie Invasion, “Pinkeye” Featuring an Awesome Rendition of “Thriller”
#1: Mecha-Streisand Various
Move over Godzilla. Here comes Barbra Streisand as a giant mechanical dinosaur. Hailing back to the first season, this Kaiju inspired beast stomps on buildings, eats the residents, and even tosses helicopters without a second thought. Not even the likes of Leonard Maltin and Sidney Poiter can stop her reign of terror. It’s only when Robert Smith of The Cure arrives and turns into a Mothra-like creature that the town is finally saved. But the destruction doesn’t end there. We see her resurrected in a season 14 two-parter where she once again levels most of the town. Thankfully, the Super Best Friends subdue her by having Krishna disguise himself as Neil Diamond and inviting her on stage to sing a duet. Leave it to the creators of South Park to come up with a hilarious yet creative way to get rid of Babs.
