Top 10 Savage Burns from Classic Hollywood Movies
#10: “Wipe! My! Mouth!” “Of Human Bondage” (1934)
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When Bette Davis stormed across movie screens in 1934’s “Of Human Bondage,” she was still finding her footing in Hollywood. Still, it was her performance as the cold and manipulative Mildred that really put her on solid ground. Mildred spends most of the movie using and abusing a club-footed medical student named Philip, whose infatuation with her leaves him vulnerable to her cruelty. As she verbally eviscerates him in this now-iconic scene, Davis’ Mildred lays into every single insecurity he has. It’s such a vicious tirade that Philip can do nothing but stare dumbly at her. Audiences of the era were probably just as stunned.
#9: “Alligators Have the Right Idea…” “Mildred Pierce” (1945)
This classic noir melodrama starring Joan Crawford about the perils of mothering a spoiled brat is chock-full of sassy one-liners and bitter resentments between mother and daughter. But, it’s Eve Arden as the leading lady’s no-nonsense spinster friend, Ida, who gets what is arguably the movie’s sickest burn. Ida’s quip about alligators eating their young gets at what we’ve all been thinking throughout the film’s entire runtime. Veda Pierce is a rotten egg if there ever was one, and Ida’s just as sick as we are of watching Mildred try to win this girl’s affection with money and expensive gifts.
#8: “You Clinking, Clanking, Clattering Collection of Caliginous Junk!” “The Wizard of Oz” (1939)
“The Wizard of Oz” is one of those movies that’s always a bit more terrifying than you remember. When Dorothy Gale and her friends finally meet the Wizard himself, he takes the form of a floating green head shrouded in flames, and, honestly, he’s kind of rude. He takes turns insulting each one of them, and does so with a style all his own. His savage yet poetic takedown of the Tin Man is one for the books. There’s just something so satisfying about an alliterating insult! We’re left impressed more than anything else!
#7: “But I Can’t See the Stove…” “Duck Soup” (1933)
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Groucho Marx was renowned for his ability to breathlessly fire off one quip after another. That’s never more true than in this 1933 madcap comedy, where he plays a president who is more concerned with wooing a wealthy widow than preventing war with a neighboring country. His fast-talking Rufus T. Firefly can’t even manage to propose marriage without getting in a few digs. In describing his dreams of married bliss with the woman, Firefly describes coming home to her with a particularly searing burn! It’s not his first or last dig about her appearance, but no one delivers rude punchlines like Groucho.
#6: “Get Permanently Lost” “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” (1967)
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In this boundary-pushing classic from 1967, Katharine Hepburn plays Christina, the mother of a young white woman who falls in love with a black man. When a racist employee makes a fool of herself in front of the couple, Christina lets her ramble only a little further before giving her some pretty detailed instructions on how to proceed with such behavior. In short, her services will no longer be required. From the way Hepburn twists the knife, slowly and calmly, to that glorious punchline, this quote has earned its place as one of classic Hollywood’s quintessential stings.
#5: “There’s a Name For You Ladies…” “The Women” (1939)
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Jam-packed with savage insults, outlandish fashions, and studio-era starpower, “The Women” features a cast of talented and bankable actresses who toss off quips faster than the human ear can register. It’s Joan Crawford’s crass and unrepentant gold digger Crystal Allen who has some of the movie’s most vicious punchlines. Realizing she’s finally been licked at film’s end, she offers the other ladies one last parting shot. It’s a prime example of how movies made during the height of the Hays Code had to be a little more clever to land a joke.
#4: “She Looked Better Than You Do Now” “The Man Who Came to Dinner” (1942)
In this wartime comedy based on the Broadway hit, actor Monty Woolley hurls insults at an unlucky Midwestern family for nearly two hours. His character, Sheridan Whiteside, may be famous, cultured, and well-spoken, but graciousness isn’t one of his attributes. His very best burn is directed at his put-upon nurse, Miss Preen, when she chastises him for eating candy. He recounts the story of his great aunt, a woman who lived to be over a hundred despite eating a box of candy every day. Then comes the stinger! Few cinematic gibes have as much build-up as this one, but that’s what makes it so deliciously evil!
#3: “I Wouldn’t Worry Too Much About Your Heart” “All About Eve” (1950)
Set against the glamorous and cutthroat world of the New York theater, “All About Eve” features powerhouse performances from Bette Davis and Anne Baxter as two rival stage actresses. The movie’s literate and witty screenplay by writer-director Joseph L. Mankiewicz is loaded with timeless, endlessly quotable dialogue. One of the most incisive lines comes at the end of the movie, after Eve accepts an award for the role she backstabbed her way into, and tells the gathered guests that her heart will always be with the theater. As the illustrious grand dame Margo Channing, Bette Davis offers the backhanded compliment of a lifetime. Oof, Bette Davis shade is always cold!
#2: “If I Gave You Any Thought…” “Casablanca” (1942)
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Everyone remembers this Bogart and Bergman classic as a legendary love story set against the backdrop of World War II, but it’s easy to forget just how funny it is. As bar owner Rick Blaine, Bogart gets to shoot off some of the funniest quips this side of a Marx Brothers movie. Another example is this great exchange between Bogart and Peter Lorre, who plays the oily criminal Ugarte. Sensing Rick’s disapproval of him, Ugarte tries to address it directly, prompting a fantastically concise and to-the-point retort. It’s moments like this that made Bogart the epitome of 1940s cool. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. “He’s a Big Something,” “Baby Face” (1933) Barbara Stanwyck Takes No Prisoners in This Pre-Code Drama “Son of a Thousand Fathers,” “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” (1966) An Enraged Tuco Burns Blondie the Best Way He Knows How… “You’re Going Bald,” “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” (1966) George & Martha Toss Off Insults While They Wait for Their Guests to Arrive “As Long as They Have Sidewalks,” “Footlight Parade” (1933) No One Does Name-Calling Classier Than Fast-Talking Thirties Dames “You Insignificant Square-Toed, Pimple-Headed Spy,” “His Girl Friday” (1940) Cary Grant Piles On the Insults in This Raucous Newspaper Comedy
#1: “Frankly, My Dear, I Don’t Give a Damn” “Gone with the Wind” (1939)
The controversial 1939 megahit has its fair share of name-calling and trash-talk, but it’s Clark Gable’s exit line that still rings in the ears of movie fans. After nearly four hours of chasing the feisty Scarlett O’Hara all across the state of Georgia, the rascal confederate Rhett Butler finally has enough of her selfishness, and gives her the brush-off of all brush-offs. Whether it’s the twinkle in Clark Gable’s eye or the way he struts off after delivering the immortal line, the moment has stuck with audiences for nearly a century.
