Top 10 Ridiculous Weapons In Serious Video Games
#10: Quacker
“Crackdown 2” (2010) Open world games tend to have at least a few silly things hidden in them, and “Crackdown 2” is no exception. After completing Funland, if you return to the location, you can find the Quacker at one of the stalls. However, this is no duck meant for targeting – it’s the strongest grenade in the game! If you throw it at something, its eyes will flash and it will quack loudly and repeatedly. You can remotely detonate them and their explosion radius is huge – strong enough to blow up armored targets and large areas. After you discover it, the Quacker is enough to turn “Crackdown 2” into “Quackdown 2,” because it’s just so much fun to use.
#9: Teddy Bear
“Prince of Persia: Warrior Within” (2004) While “Warrior Within” may have aimed for a darker and edgier tone compared to its predecessor, “The Sands of Time,” this “Prince of Persia” game has some absurd hidden weapons. The most outlandish of these is the teddy bear. Found behind a destructible wall in the Mechanical Tower, the teddy bear isn’t especially strong as far as weapons go – it is a stuffed animal after all. However, for every time it strikes an enemy, the Prince will be healed. Perhaps it’s the reminder of childlike innocence that restores your spirits.
#8: ICA Executive Briefcase Mk II
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“Hitman 2” (2018) The “Hitman” games, while being generally straightlaced, often have some of the goofiest things in video gaming in them. Upon playing the second of the new games, players discovered something interesting. While all thrown objects in the game actually have a small amount of homing to them, they’re usually thrown fast enough that it’s unnoticeable. However, the briefcase initially moved slower than other thrown items, resulting in its homing properties being obvious and hilarious. Developers patched the slow throw speed but decided to include a specialized briefcase that moves even slower. And the memes and montages continued.
#7: Rock-It Launcher
“Fallout 3” (2008) Despite its post-apocalyptic setting, “Fallout” has always had a quirky sense of humor. This is illustrated even in its weaponry. While the C-Finder from “New Vegas” being a dial-up version of the Hammer of Dawn is pretty funny, we went for a slightly smaller scale weapon. Using schematics, the player can assemble the rock-it launcher. Aside from recalling “Metal Slug,” this weapon can utilize a variety of junk items as ammo instead of bullets. And considering the number of miscellaneous doodads you accumulate throughout, there’s always more to be found! You can use everything from cola bottles to teddy bears for this thing and they all do the same amount of damage, regardless of weight. Now that’s recycling!
#6: Cup & Ball
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“Samurai Warriors” Franchise (2004-) The “Samurai Warriors” games, much like their sister series “Dynasty Warriors,” does feature the ridiculous premise of plowing through waves of enemies using only one character. However, not so for the character Oichi. Although later games in the series feature the cutesy character wielding more serious weaponry, the first two entries see her use a cup and ball – as in, the kids game. Controlling an adorable feudal Japanese girl while she lays waste to hordes of foes using a children’s game is…quite the experience. It also raises all kinds of questions about your enemies’ armor crafting if a little ball can tear through it like tissue paper.
#5: Blitzball
“Final Fantasy X” (2001) “Final Fantasy” games have a host of ridiculous weapons in them, but arguably the most absurd is the blitzball. A literal ball used in what is essentially an elaborate game of soccer, blitzballs are also used in battle by the character Wakka. For all the magical weaponry used against monsters, it’s more than a little silly that the jock in your party (well, one of them) uses something that he got from a sporting goods store. And some of them are magic? It’s almost as ridiculous as the fact that he throws his primary weapon and it somehow always ends up back in his hand!
#4: Hand Cannon
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“Dead Space 2” (2011) “Dead Space” is a futuristic horror game and as intense as they come. However, if you beat the game on Hard Core difficulty, you’ll unlock a ludicrous weapon – the Hand Cannon. The Hand Cannon is an oversized foam finger. By firing its primary and secondary fire, your character Isaac will also make “bang bang” and “pew pew” noises with his mouth. Despite how juvenile it is, the Hand Cannon is the strongest weapon in the game. While it only fires as fast as you can spam buttons and it isn’t very accurate, it can be an instant kill for most enemies. It truly captures the childish joy of destroying monsters that once gave you so much trouble.
#3: Wabbajack
“The Elder Scrolls” Franchise (1994-) “The Elder Scrolls” games are high fantasy RPG games, which means the possibilities for silliness are even greater, even if their overall tone is dark. The Wabbajack is an item that can be found in several games in the franchise. This magic staff can have a variety of effects, but the one shared across all iterations is to transform the target into something else. This can be an item, an animal, or even food. Some versions have a variety of effects, and one will be used at random. These can include everything from attack spells to powering up your foes. But if you accidentally do make your enemies stronger, all it takes is one more flick to turn them into a bunny.
#2: Mr. Toots
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“Red Faction: Armageddon” (2011) “Red Faction Armageddon” is a gritty third person shooter set on Mars. By completing the game once, you’ll get to use one of the funniest weapons in all of gaming – Mr. Toots. Mr. Toots is a living unicorn that you hold like a gun and use to fire its flatulence at enemies. This takes the form of rainbow energy beams. Foes hit by these beams can burst into rainbow dust or butterflies. We know what you’re thinking – what could possibly be more ridiculous than a farting rainbow unicorn gun?! Well…
#1: Cluckshot
“Gears of War” Franchise (2006-) “The Gears of War” series has some hard-hitting storylines, a gritty aesthetic, and plenty of gore. It also has a rocket launcher that shoots chickens. Since “Gears of War 3,” there have been appearances by this hilarious weapon. Its only appearance in the single player campaign is in its first appearance, where several chicken-related Easter Eggs will give you the chance to use the cluckshot. Multiplayer is another story though, as “Gears” hosts annual Thanksgiving events that feature the “fowl” weapon heavily. There’s just nothing quite like bombarding your enemies with squawking farm animals.
