Top 10 Reasons Why Lois Griffin Should Divorce Peter
For this list we'll be looking at the worst things Peter has done to Lois, their children, or just in general that would prompt any real-world woman to make a call to a divorce lawyer.
#10: His Drinking Problem Has Made Her Codependent “Death Has a Shadow”
One of Peter’s most dominant traits is his drinking. He hangs out at the Drunken Clam with his friends all the time, and he works at a brewery. Peter has a very intimate relationship with alcohol. He frequently gets too drunk to function and Lois has to take care of him. The very first episode of this show is based on Peter getting too drunk at a stag party after promising Lois that he won’t drink. He even engages in the ever-so-clever drinking game, “drink the beer”. Peter never shows any serious signs of getting help for his drinking, or even just cutting back on it.
#9: He Turned His Family into Drug Dealers “Farmer Guy”
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These days, everyone needs a side hustle, but perhaps turning your family into drug dealers when your farming gig doesn’t work out is not the best option. When crime rises in Quahog, Peter uproots his entire family with no warning and moves them to a farm to live the rural life. But life on the farm is not as easy as it seems. They discover a meth lab in the basement of the farm and Peter convinces them to start dealing to earn money. Of course, eventually, the Griffins give up the drug life and move back to Quahog, but things get a lot worse before they get better. Lois should have run and taken the kids with her.
#8: He Compared Her Body to Aging, Broken-Down Equipment “Lois Comes Out of Her Shell”
Peter puts down Lois all the time, but this time, it seemed way more insensitive than his usual comments. First of all, it was her birthday. Secondly, it was during a surprise party in front of all her friends. And third, it was at a time when she was already feeling insecure about getting older. Way to kick her while she’s down, Peter. Lois insults Peter all the time too, but when he refers to her as a plow horse, whose only use is menial labor, and sex, can you really blame her? This speech sent her on a midlife crisis. As far as we’re concerned it should have sent her running for the hills.
#7: He Accidentally Threw Hot Grease at Her Face “Petarded”
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Peter has gotten away with a lot of bad behavior due to his stupidity, but when he is deemed mentally challenged he takes this to a whole other level. He takes full advantage of the situation by starting a Bible fight in church, barging into women's bathrooms, and causing trouble wherever he goes while blaming it on being mentally challenged. His worst offense is when he jumps behind the counter at a fast food restaurant and accidentally pours hot grease all over Lois, nearly killing her. And this isn’t even the only time Peter has almost killed Lois . . . but more on that later.
#6: He Brought Plagues on His Family “If I’m Dyin, I’m Lyin”
One of Peter’s most ridiculous offenses against his family happened quite early on in the show. In a season two episode Peter claims that Chris is deathly sick in order to get his favorite TV show back on the air, and then claims that he miraculously cured him. As if that weren’t selfish enough, when his neighbors start praising him like a God after the supposed miracle, Peter revels in the attention. This leads to the plagues descending on his family. As Brian puts it, God is pissed. Despite everyone demanding he tell the truth, Peter refuses to, until Chris almost dies. This probably should have been a massive red flag for Lois.
#5: He’s Constantly Committing Crimes Various Episodes
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Peter turning his family into drug dealers was pretty bad, but Lois probably didn’t even find it that surprising considering breaking the law is kind of his thing. Crimes Peter has committed range from minor offenses of robbery and breaking and entering to straight up murder. There was the time he committed treason by creating his own country and going to war against the U.S. There was the murder of a completely innocent, hook-handed war hero, and the manslaughter of his mom’s best friend. Although in Peter’s defense, that last one was an accident.
#4: He Forced Her to Gain so Much Weight That She Had a Heart Attack “Sibling Rivalry”
You might think that Peter, of all people, would be understanding when Lois started to gain weight, but you would be wrong. He ruthlessly insults her, at least until he discovers the wonders of fat sex. Then he encourages her to gain weight, which, if you can imagine, is even worse than him putting her down. He insists she get fatter and literally stuffs her face with cake. She gains so much weight that she has a heart attack and almost dies. But that does not stop Peter from having sex with her. And this is still only one of several times Lois has almost died by Peter’s hand.
#3: He’s an Abusive and Neglectful Father Various Episodes
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If the way Peter treats Lois isn’t enough to have her packing her bags, the way he treats their children probably should. We get it, a big part of the show’s humor is how the ridiculous and dysfunctional Griffins interact with one another, but the way Peter treats his children is just appalling. He frequently makes Chris feel insecure about himself. He got Stewie hooked on steroids that one time. And of course there was the time he threw an unconscious, severely injured Stewie underneath the wheels of Lois’ car so she would think that she was the one who injured him. Aaaaaand he hits Meg with a baseball bat. Need we say more?
#2: He Tried to Shoot Her “Family Goy”
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After finding out that Lois is Jewish, Peter tries to shoot her. So he’s not only guilty of attempted murder of his own wife, but also an anti semitic hate crime. Now that’s a loving husband, right? Yeesh. As Lois is walking out to the mailbox to get the mail, Peter watches her through the scope of a rifle, and takes a shot at her. Lois, freaks out, as you might expect, but Peter is so nonchalant about the whole thing. Seriously, how many times does Peter have to try to kill Lois before she calls it quits? Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable, or in this case, dishonorable mentions: He Wastes Their Money “The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire” He’s Admitted to Disliking His Kids "April in Quahog"
#1: He Tried to Drown Her “The Courtship of Stewie's Father”
That’s right, yet another near-murder. Maybe Lois should take solace in that Peter was trying to connect more with Stewie when they almost killed her. After realizing that the only thing they have in common is that they find Lois’ pain funny, Peter and Stewie go on a rampage, abusing her. They smash a jar of pickles on her head, assault her with a spraying garden hose, and trap her in the trunk of the car and sink her in a lake. You know, just some good old father-son bonding.
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