Top 10 Phoebe Buffay Songs
#10: “Emma” “The One With the Cake”
While throwing a birthday party for Ross and Rachel’s infant daughter Emma, the gang runs into a lot of unfortunate circumstances. While the cake is a total loss, albeit a hilarious one, Phoebe manages to cheer us up with her song. Short and nonsensical, the song consists of her lamenting how few words rhyme with “Emma” before paying tribute to actor Richard Crenna. Joey’s dramatic reading of “Love You Forever” may have ended up being the highlight of the affair, but we still love Phoebe’s Emma dilemma song nonetheless.
#9: “Sticky Shoes” “The One With Joey’s New Girlfriend”
Going into this episode, we expected Phoebe to give us songs like the one about parading goats. But after she catches a cold, her voice falls to a lower register. She sees the bright side and thinks she sounds more alluring. We can’t completely disagree because the ode to a Papier-mâché man is great.However, our favorite song in the episode is all about her sticky shoes. We only hear the final plaintive bars of the song, but it’s a wonderful departure from her usual style. And we get another great callback to “Sticky Shoes” when Phoebe reunites with her former partner in another episode.
#8: “Two of Them Kissed Last Night" “The One With the List”
Ross and Rachel’s dramatic love lives also bleed into Phoebe’s musical work! After the couple kiss, Ross is torn because he’s already in a relationship with Julie. When confronted with both of them at the coffee shop, he urges Phoebe to play something to distract from the moment. However, this musician isn’t exactly known for her subtlety. Phoebe’s song is a thinly veiled commentary on their love triangle. Despite repeatedly claiming that it’s all made-up, she urges her “imaginary” guy to choose between one of his love interests. So not only is Phoebe obvious, but she might also low-key be trolling Ross with this song.
#7: Morbid Mom Songs “The One With the Monkey”
Although Phoebe feels like a ray of sunshine and quirkiness, she also has a tremendously tragic past. While preparing winter songs for a set at the coffee shop, the line up includes 12 songs about how her mother took her own life and 1 about a snowman. However, while Phoebe leads with the snowman song, it ends up being a morbid mom song as well. The jarring tonal shift is surprisingly great comedy. And after a break, we return to see Phoebe singing about her mother’s ashes. It might be a separate song. But given the grim nature of the original, it could easily still be the same tune!
#6: “Whenever I Get Married” “The One With Monica’s Thunder”
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Monica and Chandler’s engagement is a happy time for everyone. Phoebe immediately takes to the idea of singing at their wedding. However, her initial song idea doesn't exactly inspire confidence. When the happy couple refuses to give her a deposit to play at the wedding, Phoebe delivers an awesome angry musical riff. She follows that song up with a few more melodies long after everyone else has left. The first is about how she’s staying to get in the way of their…celebrations. And the second is her suggesting she should perform the ceremony. Angry/petty Phoebe is hilarious!
#5: “Blackout” “The One With the Blackout”
When New York City experiences a blackout, the darkness offers the gang a chance to come together in unexpected ways. Phoebe contributes by providing plenty of musical diversions to pass the time. Her musical accompaniment to Ross getting attacked by a cat is certainly legendary. But it’s not one of her own songs. So our pick goes to her songs about the blackout itself, which describes the situation as literally and yet also poetically as only Phoebe can. The fact that she ends it with a bunch of “la la las” and writes down the lyrics only makes it funnier.
#4: “Grandma” “The One After the Superbowl, Part 1”
While Phoebe’s songs are often upbeat, they also tend to deal with very adult topics. So when she plays for kids at a library, their parents are more than a little taken aback. The kids, on the other hand, love her. Her ditties talk about farm animals becoming meat, offer mature relationship advice, and discuss the way sexuality can be viewed as a spectrum. But the crown jewel has to be her song about a sick grandmother. Not only does it feature lying parents, it takes pains to point out that we’re all mortal. While we love Phoebe’s songs … we do understand why she got fired.
#3: “Lather, Rinse, Repeat” “The One With the Baby on the Bus”
Not everyone appreciates Phoebe’s songs. When Phoebe shows Rachel her new song “Lather, Rinse, Repeat”, which she wrote in the shower, Rachel struggles to look encouraging. The song is basically a description of what Phoebe was doing while she was writing it. Central Perk manager Terry is even less impressed … For the record, we love Phoebe’s Shower Song. But Terry’s displeasure does lead to even more hilarious songs when Phoebe gets fired and stands outside Central Perk, singing angry songs about Terry. There’s also a return to her roots with a goofy song about a double-jointed boy.
#2: “Christmas Song” “The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie”
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During the holidays, Phoebe decides to write a song for her friends in lieu of a gift. Throughout the episode, she workshops several versions as her friends point out various issues. Even if dreidel doesn’t rhyme with Rachel, the songs are all great and in the spirit of the season. But it’s the final version we love best. From her insistence that no one tries to sing along, to her belting out the part about Joey’s Christmas being snowy, the song has great lyrics. However, the ending proves that even all her rewrites didn’t make it perfect. She infamously mumbles rather than trying to rhyme something with Chandler. Still, that just makes it more “Phoebe-ish.” Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions: “Little Black Curly Hair”, “The One With Ross' Denial” Ode to a Very Personal & Mysterious Hair “Sixty-Six Colors of My Bedroom”, “The One With the Jellyfish” How Many Colors Are in Your Bedroom? “Crusty Old Man”, “The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies” The Song Raises So Many Questions – Like What Did the Other Rats Play? “Crazy Underwear”, “The One With Ross’ Thing” It’s a Shame That She Mumbled Through the End of This Lyrically Complex Song “Two Heart Attacks”, “The One That Could Have Been, Part 2” Even an Alternate Version of Phoebe Has Happy/Dark Songs
#1: “Smelly Cat” Various
C’mon folks! You all knew this was coming! “Smelly Cat” is easily Phoebe’s most popular song. It tells the simple tale of a malodorous feline, whose owners have been feeding it an unknown diet that contributes to its rancid smell. Simple and endlessly catchy, “Smelly Cat” has been a hit music video, a jingle, and a staple of Phoebe’s sets at Central Perk. Lisa Kudrow has even done a duet version with Taylor Swift! Even if it’s not your favorite, you have to admit that this is the definitive Phoebe song.
