Top 10 Cringiest Things From The 70s

#10: Platform Shoes

The idea of platform shoes has been around for centuries, with some versions dating back to ancient Greece and in use throughout history. Platform soles were handy for avoiding flood waters and the like. In the 1970s, there was a resurgence in popularity, this time around as a fashion statement. The 1960s and 70s saw a rise in more colorful clothing for men, egged on by the advent of glam rock and disco. The platform shoe was a great way to draw attention, with the added bonus of giving height-challenged individuals a boost. Sure, they looked great on David Bowie. We can safely say, however, that we don’t need a comeback - the discomfort and awkwardness of these clogs is enough to keep us wearing flats.

#9: No Sunscreen? No Problem!

We now know that the sun’s rays can be particularly harmful and most of us take precautions. But in the 1970s, the sun was nothing but fun. Actually, the concept of SPF (sun protection factor) was only introduced in 1974. Before sunscreen or sunblock, there were only suntan lotions or oils. These were mainly advertised as tan-enhancing products that somehow activated a perfect tan while avoiding burns. Some even claimed to allow sunbathers to take longer tans at reduced risk of damage. For those who wanted a quicker tan, there were bronzers. Bronzers were safer, but worth the time? Well let’s just say they were better than those 2000s orange spray tans. But by how much?

#8: Dinette Sets

Let’s face it, the 1970s color palette was… unpleasantly eclectic. Colors such as avocado, amber, gold, brown, beige… Still awake? These colors were everywhere, as well as a variety of eyesore patterns and wood grains. No furniture was safe, and dinette sets were hit hard. The table-and-chairs combos were affordable options for one’s dining needs. Upholstered and pedestal or mushroom-based chairs were all the rage, and they came in a variety of designs, from zebra print to terrible florals, leather or fabric upholstery. With such a wide array of styles, it was easy to match your dinette set to your wallpaper - another regrettable practice.

#7: Pet Rocks

In the mid-70s, advertising exec Gary Dahl was out drinking with some friends when the conversation turned to pets. Listening to his pals complain about their respective animal pals, Dahl came up with the ideal “pet” - a rock, which requires absolutely no care whatsoever. You can’t kill a rock. Sure, this is fun bar talk, but Dahl actually borrowed money from friends to produce Pet Rocks - basically a rock in a box with holes in it. It was a novelty item, and turned out to be quite popular for around half a year, with total sales estimated at 1.5 million dollars. People must have been bored - spending money on something you can literally pick off any beach for free is ridiculous.

#6: Waterbeds

The earliest recorded use of waterbeds dates back to 1833, when they were used medically to avoid bedsores. They continued to be used as such and were mentioned in science fiction novels and were patented in 1971, when they were reinvented for everyday use. Though they were advertised as “liquid support” for flawless sleep, many customers admitted to using the versatile mattresses to improve their intimate times. The first prototype created by inventor Charles Hall was dubbed the “Pleasure Pit,” after all. There are downsides, however. You have to fill them with water, meaning maneuvering a hose into the bedroom. Frequent maintenance to prevent leaks is also required and oh, are you moving? Good luck emptying that massive water balloon in your home.

#5: The Dawn of Video Games

Hey, everything was innovative at its start! But compared to the hyper-realistic environments in the more recent video games, 1970s gaming was laughable and wouldn’t entertain the most bored of youth today. Ask your parents (or grandparents) about “Pong.” The very beginning of what is now video gaming started in 1947. Arcade games came first - yes, folks, if you wanted to game, you had to leave your house. However, in 1972, the first at home video game console was released - the Magnavox Odyssey. With it came the shockingly realistic environment RPG masterpiece that was “Pong.” Nah, just kidding, it was lines and balls, but people were really into it. Compared to what we have today, it’s hard to imagine the excitement.

#4: Shag Carpet

It’s all fun and games until some spills anything on the carpet… especially if it’s shag. Shag carpeting has been around for centuries, with some samples dating back to Ancient Greece. In the 1960s and 70s, the flooring saw its peak popularity. Prices were lower and colors were plentiful. The main issue with shag carpeting is cleaning - the long, tight fibers make stains and spills impossible to completely remove and are clearly a terrible choice for pet owners. They were also known to shed, specifically shortly after installation. How much would you be willing to sacrifice for aesthetics? Honestly, one party and the carpet has permanently imprinted memories. Maybe save it for that mysterious living room no one can use that grammy used to have.

#3: Hitchhiking

Hitchhiking is now frequently associated with danger, serial killers, weirdos and bums. However, it wasn’t always so hazardous (though there has always been an element of risk). It’s an easy way to get a free ride, and between the 1930s and 70s, it was very common. Jack Kerouac’s novel “On the Road,” released in 1957, romanticized the idea of hitchhiking, chronicling the adventures of a young hitcher and the colorful characters he meets. The boom in the 60s and 70s can be partially attributed to countercultures - hippies on their cross-country travels would frequently thumb rides, for example. Towards the end of the 70s, it saw a rapid decline, presumably due to cultural changes as we became more aware of potential “stranger danger.”

#2: No “Stranger Danger”? No Problem!

Pre-2000, children were of course warned of the dangers of the outside world, but perhaps not as vehemently as today. In fact, it has been proven that immediate dangers to children are usually found within their own families or social circles - not from strangers. The 1970s had its share of latchkey kids - children who spent extended periods of time at home sans parents. And parents were often non-existent during those long summer days; kids would be released to the elements and their own devices for hours on end, returning only for the occasional bite of food or when the sun was setting. This seems daunting today, but most 70s kids survived. Still, the lack of stranger awareness is unsettling when seen today.

#1: Roller Disco

Hey, how do you feel about spending a Saturday evening with your friends, wheels on your feet, going around and around in circles to some sick, disco beats? Look no further! Roller skates were originally patented in 1760, and the hobby footwear saw a boom in the 1970s, specifically 1979, when “roller disco” was established. Disco is, let’s face it, the kitsch of music - tacky outfits, shallow lyrics, big hair, flashing lights and sparkles! How better to show off your disco flair than by roll-strutting your stuff on the roller dance floor? The roller disco craze followed the disco music craze in its hasty retreat into the disco inferno, much as skates all but disappeared with the invention of rollerblades.

What do you wish we still had from the 1970s? Let us know in the comments!