Top 10 Best Coming Out Scenes in Movies
#10: Howard Comes Out at His Wedding “In & Out” (1997)
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No, this movie isn’t about the popular California-based burger chain. It’s about Howard, a small-town Indiana high school teacher who’s outed at the Oscars by a former student. Due to late-90s ignorance, bedlam erupts, leaving Howard to deny the claim at every turn. Only, he really is gay, and can’t seem to admit it to himself until he’s standing at the altar with a woman. So, instead of saying “I do,” he says… Sure, not the best time to come out with it, but it proves to be something of a relief, and something he might not have been able to do had he not been lip-locked by a hunky Tom Sellick a few scenes prior.
#9: Frank Admits His Feelings to His Wife “Far from Heaven” (2002)
Strange as it may seem, we really should be saying “Academy Award Nominee Dennis Quaid,” because he absolutely kills it alongside Julianne Moore in a movie about a 50s housewife who discovers her husband is gay. Dropping in unexpectedly at the latter’s office after hours, Moore’s Cathy Whitaker is shocked to see her husband with another man and promptly runs home. There, the two have an appropriately tense moment where Quaid’s Frank admits to having had incidents when he was younger. Not finding the exact words, Frank is unable to come out completely, and it’s this inner turmoil and emotional resonance that makes this such a powerful scene.
#8: Mike Professes His Love for Scott “My Own Private Idaho” (1991)
A male prostitute who struggles with crippling bouts of narcolepsy, River Phoenix’s Mike Waters has a constrained relationship with sexuality and love. After sleeping with various clients earlier in the film, Mike finally has a tender moment with his friend Scott when they reach the titular state. Sitting by a campfire, Mike takes a quiet moment to reflect upon what it would mean to love someone without being paid for it. While Scott says that he only sleeps with men for money, and doesn’t think that two men can love each other, Mike maintains that he loves him anyway, as much as it hurts. It’s a heart-wrenching scene, one that’s elevated by the agitation going on underneath Phoenix’s nuanced performance.
#7: Jessica Comes Out to Her Mother “Kissing Jessica Stein” (2001)
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Unable to come to grips with her nascent bisexuality, Jessica keeps her relationship with Helen a secret. However, when that reticence puts a strain on their relationship, she can’t hide her emotions. Comforted by her mother - who’s previously tried to set her up with men - Jessica gets the catharsis she needs without having to say very much at all. In a touching scene, the elder Stein woman is able to infer the subtext, and gives Jessica her approval to be with Helen. The two then hug, as Jessica is finally able to accept and embrace who she really is.
#6: Jared Comes Out to His Parents “Boy Erased” (2018)
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Coming out can be even more difficult when it conflicts with a previously established religious belief, and more difficult still when family members struggle to understand for the same reason. In this biographical drama based on a memoir, Jared has it especially hard when his rapist outs him to his Baptist parents. Initially, Jared is defensive and denies it. But then he storms into the kitchen and tells his parents the truth. It’s an especially sober moment, one that leaves his parents speechless and in shock. Unfortunately, things would only get worse for Jared, who’s later forced into an abusive conversion “therapy” program. But in this brave moment, he refuses to compromise his honesty.
#5: Simon Comes Out to His Friend Abby “Love, Simon” (2018)
This movie has so many coming out scenes, we hardly knew where to begin. In fact, we might have more in store for later. For now, though, we simply had to appreciate this straightforward coming out that sees the titular Simon confide in his friend Abby. Feeling secure talking about intimate things, Simon pulls over the car and does what he’s been dreading the entire film. And we’ve gotta say, Abby’s reaction is spot on; unflinching but not making a big deal out of it as the two come closer together. Unfortunately, he’s unable to come out on his own terms to his other friends later on, but Simon definitely deserved this win while it lasted.
#4: Sam Comes Out to Her Father “Blockers” (2018)
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Having your parents track you down on prom night to prevent you from having sex would be the worst. But fortunately Sam’s situation is a little bit different. Convinced that she’s a lesbian and that she’ll reluctantly give up her virginity to her male date, Sam’s father Hunter barges into her hotel room expecting the worst. Fortunately Sam has better judgment than he thinks, as her date has already left. But the encounter leads to a surprisingly tender moment. After Hunter apologizes for his behavior in the wake of his divorce to Sam’s mom, Sam takes the opportunity to do something she’s never done. Of course Hunter already knows, but her official coming out brings the two together in a way that’s funny and sweet.
#3: Hal Comes Out to His Son Oliver “Beginners” (2010)
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Through the narration of Ewan McGregor’s character, we learn that his father only came out after his mother’s death. They’d been married for 44 years. Being a snippet of a memory, it’s a quick coming out soon, but the alternate remembrances and takes featuring Christopher Plummer lighten the moment so that it matches the quirky humor of the film. Not only that, but it sets up Hal’s transformation in his final years into what he’s always wanted to be, and is part of a performance that would win Plummer the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.
#2: Kevin and Chiron Kiss on the Beach “Moonlight” (2016)
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Kevin and Chiron’s abbreviated romance begins on a beachfront at night. The two share a blunt and joke around, but the talk soon turns introspective and sees Kevin put his hand on Chiron. The moment quickly turns romantic as the two share a kiss, ending with Kevin giving Chiron his first sexual experience. While neither verbally come out per se, they’re able to express such feelings to each other that they never could to their peers. It’s a passionate scene, and one that’s made all the more emotion in light of their subsequent falling out and reunion. Before we come out with our top pick, here are some honorable mentions: Eric Comes Out to His Mother “Edge of Seventeen” (1998) Alike Comes Out to Her Parents “Pariah” (2011) Mitch Comes Out to Courtney After She Asks Him Out “ParaNorman” (2012) Zac Comes Out to His Parents “C.R.A.Z.Y.” (2005) Freddie Comes Out to Mary “Bohemian Rhapsody” (2018)
#1: Simon Comes Out to His Parents “Love, Simon” (2018)
Told ya we had more in store. While this scene is by no means the climax, it certainly feels like it since the whole coming-out-to-your-parents thing was hilariously established in the movie’s intro. Taking place on Christmas morning, Simon gives his parents perhaps the greatest gift of all by letting them know a side of him they hadn’t previously. While his mother plays it cool, his father tries to hide his emotions with ill-timed humor. While it’s not the most joyous reveal, it proves especially cathartic later on when Simon speaks to his father privately, who now can’t hold back the tears. This time they embrace, with his father saying he wouldn’t change anything about Simon. Great, now we’re crying too.
