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VOICE OVER: Aaron Brown WRITTEN BY: Aaron Brown
As you might expect, the deities of "God of War" can be pretty sexy. For this list, we scoured all of Greece and The Nine Realms to bring you the sexiest and most eligible Gods from the God of War series. While we would've loved to include Aphrodite on this list, there's no way YouTube would let us actually show any footage of her. Our list includes Freya, Poseidon, Persephone, the Furies, and more!
Script written by Aaron Brown As you might expect, the deities of "God of War" can be pretty sexy. For this list, we scoured all of Greece and The Nine Realms to bring you the sexiest and most eligible Gods from the God of War series. While we would’ve loved to include Aphrodite on this list, there's no way YouTube would let us actually show any footage of her. Our list includes Freya, Poseidon, Persephone, the Furies, and more! Who would be your Mr or Ms Right from the God of War series? Let us know your perfect match in the comments!

Persephone

“God of War: Chains of Olympus” (2008) Is it getting hot in here or is it just the goddess of the underworld? She might not have chosen her current relationship status but something tells us she’d brave the fires of your love for the chance to run away and start a new life somewhere a bit more accommodating. Persephone’s got a chip on her shoulder the size of the world, but we have a feeling maybe you could melt her cold, cold heart. She’s quite adept at pulling the strings but if you’re looking to pull at her heart strings, flowers are definitely the way to go. Just never forget she’s got big friends in high places so be sure to always be on your absolute best behavior.

Hermes

“God of War III” (2010) For the ultimate speed dating partner, you need look no further than the messenger of the Gods, Hermes! Don’t let his speed intimidate you, he’ll take his time trying to win your heart. His mouth moves just as fast as his feet, if you know what I mean, and before you know it, he’ll be whispering sweet nothings in your ear with every message he brings. His fiery hair and winged shoes will brighten your day and send your heart a flutter and his quick wit will always leave you with a smile on your face. You’ve got to be quick with this one and catch him before he gets away, because once he’s gone, he’s gone, and you’ll never see him the same way again.

Hera

“God of War III” (2010) So we hear you like your women a bit on the older side. Not to worry, Hera might be showing a bit of gray here and there but she’s always down to party and loves to take in a good show now and then. She’s a fighter though and she’s definitely going to make you work for her affection! Her first love is her garden but solve its puzzles and you could unlock your way into her heart. She’s a feisty one for sure coming off her last relationship, but if you can get past her crusty exterior, she’ll welcome you with open arms and allow your love to bloom no matter the realm. Just watch your back, her eyes are green with envy should yours go astray.

Poseidon

“God of War III” (2010) Riding into your life on valiant steeds made from the sea itself, the ocean won’t be the only thing that’s getting wet tonight! With the ability to bring you an oceanside view no matter where you are, the romance will follow the two of you anywhere you choose. With his mighty trident, Poseidon will sweep you off your feet and strike at your heart with such ferocity you’ll be able to feel the waves move through you. Poseidon definitely has a wall up out of fear of letting anyone in, but if you’re willing to break through, you’ll find he’s just as vulnerable as you are and just as afraid of getting hurt.

Athena

“God of War” Series (2005-) For those looking for the more sensitive type, Athena is always there with a kind word and a gentle nudge in the right direction. She’s turned men into Gods and with her guiding hand, there’s no limit to where she could lead you. Her statuesque figure is a light in the darkness and while she’s got a hole inside that only you can fill, she’ll still be there like a ghostly visage leading you to your true destiny. She’s not without her own ambitions however, and after all the guidance she’s offered you, who are you to refuse her final wishes? No matter where you go, her memory will live on long after she’s left your life because she’s just the kind of girl you can’t ever seem to move on from.

Zeus

“God of War” Series (2005-2010) With age comes experience, and that’s never been truer than with the God of Gods, Zeus himself. A true self-made man, Zeus fought for his brothers and sisters to rise to power and reigns over all of Greece, but don’t think that means he’s out of your league; he’s most definitely been known to throw down with the mortals, if you follow my drift. This grandpa is jacked and once those guns come out, the heavens themselves are filled with thunderous applause. If you’re looking to settle down, you might want to keep your options open, we know he certainly will, but if you’re looking for a place among the clouds, then Zeus is the first God you should be making an offering to.

The Furies

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“God of War Ascension” (2013) We’ll admit we’re cheating a bit with this one but don’t let them catch your eyes wandering! There’s nothing more these ladies love to do than punish you for being the bad boy you are! We’re gonna be honest here folks, we’re not even sure if they’re ladies or if we’re looking at a praying mantis kind of situation here but you don’t hear any of the male praying mantises complaining, am I right? Three times the furies, three times the fun, and these gals are simply filled to the brim with party tricks, so you’re guaranteed to never be bored! Let these lovely “ladies” cast their judgment and show you a future and a past in which they are your whole world. You’ve got to be willing to fight for their love as much as they’re willing to fight you. Fight for you. I meant fight FOR you.

Baldur

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“God of War” (2018) If every tattoo tells a story, then our man Baldur is a walking graphic novel. He’s always looking for his next challenge and with that cut Norse God physique we know we’d scale any mountain just to get a glimpse of, if you play your cards right, he could show you Midgard from a whole new perspective. He’ll go to any lengths to get what he’s after and once you catch his eye, there’s nothing that can stand in his way when he’s on the hunt for you. While he might be immune to pain, we’re not immune to his endless charm and wit. He’s got some issues with his mother but then again who doesn’t? With a guiding hand, you can help him let go of all those raw emotions he’s kept locked inside all these years.

Freya

“God of War” (2018-) Witch of the Woods, Valkyrie Queen, and the Ultimate Mother I’d Like to Get to Know Ya! Separated from her abusive ex, she’s ready to move on to new and better things and if you’ve got the godly strength to keep up with her, that could be you! She’s got one child who she’s, let’s say, giving his space, so she’s got nothing but time to dedicate to you! She’s always got something cooking and loves maintaining her gardens and taking long walks across the Nine Realms. Just be sure to stay on her good side because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and she’s not afraid to show her claws should you come between her and her son! Her dark hair and piercing eyes certainly have us under her spell!

Joke #1

Brok “God of War” (2018-) By the forge there’s no one else it could be but Brok. A master craftsman of the Nine Realms and a wordsmith if there ever was one, Brok would certainly be blue without you.

Kratos

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“God of War” Series (2005-) A man who gave it all so that others might have a chance and literally pulled himself out of the depths, there are few like this God of War. Don’t let the gruff exterior fool you, beneath those chiseled muscles beat the emotions of a man that only you can help. Recently single, Kratos is just a God doing his best to raise his young son and use all of his years worth of fighting skills to combat the memories of his past and become a better man. For those of you who are into the “Dad Bod”, Kratos sets a new standard. Not even the frigid mountain air would be able to penetrate the warmth of his muscles as he held you close. Let his masculine hands build your future together and his piercing eyes look forward to the days to come as you begin a new life free of the past.

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