10 Toxic TV Relationships That Audiences Romanticized
Owen Hunt & Cristina Yang
“Grey’s Anatomy” (2005-)
Dr. Cristina Yang, Seattle Grace’s resident overachieving cynic, was a surgeon first and foremost. Once Owen came along in season 5 and saved her life, we saw a regression of her character. Although some may be charmed by the way he pursued her, it was deeply uncomfortable, not to mention unprofessional. Owen was incredibly aggressive and callous, and Cristina was ready to trade him off when it was professionally convenient. Their worst moments came when Owen began pressuring her to become a mother, even though she didn’t want children. This relationship lasted a few seasons too long.
Rory Gilmore & Dean Forester
“Gilmore Girls” (2000-07)
The big debate among fans of this charming dramedy has always been which boy Rory Gilmore should have ended up with. Frankly, they all had their drawbacks. Yes, that includes Jess. But the Dean partisans might have the most to answer for. He all but pressured Rory into saying “I love you” back when he did, and his affinity for the hyper-domestic fantasy of “The Donna Reed Show” didn’t bode well. But it was his jealousy and temper that spelled the most doom. Rory didn’t exactly keep her feelings for Jess hidden. Then, their extramarital fling in the fourth season seemed to turn Rory into someone not even her mother Lorelai recognized anymore.
Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert
“The Vampire Diaries” (2009-17)
Look, criticizing a vampire show for having a toxic relationship is like going to the grocery store and being mad they have food. It usually comes with the territory. Known affectionately by their ship name, Delena, this couple gave us a lot to chew on. Even if you disregard the century-and-a-half age gap between these two, their dynamic was codependent to the point that neither one felt the need to exercise any kind of sense. They really said, “I love you because you make me worse.” We get it. It’s fun to root for the bad boy. But Damon more than lived up to that title. So much so that even he’s confused how she can still love him.
Olivia Pope & Fitzgerald Grant
“Scandal” (2012-18)
He is the married president of the United States; she is the person who makes problems go away. Meanwhile, we are just the citizens whose lives hang in the balance when these two can’t behave themselves. Dodging Oval Office cameras and stealing elections was bad enough. In the moment, it’s easy to be swayed by all those romantic looks and great needle drops. But these two were up to some insane shenanigans on the taxpayer’s dime. Fitz’s treatment of his wife, Mellie, doesn’t exactly make him look like a prince. Consumed by bitterness and possessive tendencies, they became worse versions of themselves as the show went on.
Chuck Bass & Blair Waldorf
“Gossip Girl” (2007-12)
Fans could spend years debating which characters on this scandalous CW series should have been paired off in the end. The answer, by and large, is no one. In fact, every single one of them could have done with some soul-searching and therapy. Chuck Bass didn’t have much of a chance at being a decent human being, given his rotten family. Between his literally trading Blair for a hotel and Blair constantly reminding him he wasn’t good enough for her, you’d think the fans wouldn’t root so hard for these two. Unfortunately, them getting together in the finale is actually supposed to be a happy ending.
Buffy Summers & Spike
“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (1997-2003)
The fantasy genre is full of enemies-to-lovers stories. Buffy Summers’ calling as a vampire slayer meant that she was constantly falling in love with villainous supernatural beings. Her multi-season romance with Spike had a lot of fans kicking their feet. Buffy comes to be Spike’s redemption. Unfortunately, that’s a bumpy road that’s not always good for her. Their hold over each other became worse after Buffy’s death and resurrection, and the two embark on a torrid, secret relationship. That can be exciting, but it also leads to some really uncomfortable and violent confrontations.
Aria Montgomery & Ezra Fitz
“Pretty Little Liars” (2010-17)
Some couples need time to reveal how just unhinged and toxic they are. This one starts off in “nope” territory and keeps going from there. Aria Montgomery is a high school student who meets a nice guy at a pub, and thinks she’s found the one. Then, it turns out he’s her English teacher. And if that weren’t enough, she and Ezra Fitz continue their relationship and eventually get married. Considering how much airtime is devoted to it, it’s pretty clear that you’re supposed to be rooting for them to figure it out and be happy together.
Mindy Lahiri & Danny Castellano
“The Mindy Project” (2012-17)
There’s something endearing about the professional rivalry between Mindy and Danny. From the jump, the show seems to be building up to the two of them getting together. They’re charming together but their increasing intimacy makes the previously confident Mindy seem a little smaller. Danny was emotionally manipulative and hardly took her feelings or autonomy into account as the show went on. For all of Mindy’s flaws, she didn’t deserve that. The storyline in season 4 that sees him trying to trick her into getting pregnant again is luckily followed by their breakup.
Carrie Bradshaw & Mr. Big
“Sex and the City” (1998-2004) & “And Just Like That…” (2021-)
When you’re a columnist who spends so much time romanticizing your own life the way Carrie Bradshaw does, it’s bound to make you ignore some red flags. Carrie meets the rich man of her dreams in the very first episode, and we are locked into this ride for better or worse. Carrie’s insecurities often cause her to act out. Meanwhile, Big tends to completely disregard her feelings. They’re practically a case study in mismatched attachment styles. To give credit where it’s due though, Mr. Big was nowhere near as bad as Aleksandr, but the show didn’t make us root for them.
Ross Geller & Rachel Green
“Friends” (1994-2004)
The question at the end of the series was the one millions tuned in for. Will Ross and Rachel finally end up together? The answer is yes, and the crowd went wild. But was this really a happy ending? The amount of hurt these two put each other through was tough to watch, even if it did make us laugh. Their terrible lack of communication suggested some really deep rifts in their compatibility. If there’s one thing you can say for this couple, it’s that at least “Friends” aired long enough for them to actually have some growth.
Were we too hard on these couples? Tell us why in the comments.