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Simon Cowell VERSUS Gordon Ramsay

VO: Rebecca Brayton WRITTEN BY: Christopher S Lozano
It's a battle of the bullies, Simon 'Get Off The Stage' Cowell vs Gordon 'You're Gunna Kill Someone' Ramsay. Who has the greatest insults? What is the meanest or most offensive thing Gordon Ramsay has ever said? Does it compete with Simon Cowell's best insults? We don't really care who would win in an actual fight, Ramsay obviously because knives, but for this video we are comparing these English pop culture icons in areas like entertainment value, talent and of course, who is meaner. So join as we decide who is the better icon, Gordon Ramsay or Simon Cowell. Written by Christopher Lozano

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Simon Cowell vs. Gordon Ramsay

It’s the battle of the blunt brits! Welcome to, and in today’s versus matchup, we’re pitting Simon Cowell against Gordon Ramsay.

For this video, we’re going to find out which British personality is the best on T.V. We’ll be looking at five crucial categories to determine our winner.

Round 1: Show Quality and Quantity

“American Idol” has the kind of production values you would expect from a show about singers and international super-stardom. Everything is lit and staged like the contestants are on the world’s biggest stage, and they kind of are. However, despite being a well-produced and well-oiled television show for over 15 seasons, it lacks a little bit of creativity and doesn’t often deviate from its formula. Additionally, though “American Idol” is a huge hit, Simon has never quite reached the same level of success with his other television ventures.

On the other hand, “Kitchen Nightmares” also follows a predictable formula, but each episode is different because of the nature of its format. Gordon’s show goes to a completely new place each episode. Despite the strain of filming in constantly changing locations, the production still manages to give us great T.V. to watch. We get to see behind the scenes kitchen drama we can only imagine in our dreams… or nightmares. Since Ramsay’s shows show us something different each week and are still produced excellently, we give him the nod here.

Winner: Gordon Ramsay

Simon: 0 / Gordon: 1

Round 2: Professional Success

Before he was making people cry in front of millions of live viewers, Simon Cowell was already a successful music producer. He has also been a judge on the British shows “Pop Idol,” “The X Factor,” and “Britain’s Got Talent.” Additionally, he was a judge on the American versions of those same shows. On top of that, he is a founder and executive of the entertainment company Syco. All these successful endeavors add up to an estimated net worth of over $450 million for Simon Cowell.

Not to be outdone, Gordon Ramsay is himself the star of several hit television shows in Britain and the United States, including “Kitchen Nightmares,” “Hell’s Kitchen,” “MasterChef,” and “Hotel Hell.” He is also the author of several books. However, perhaps his crowning achievements are the 16 Michelin Stars his various restaurants have picked up over the years. All this hard work has lead to an estimated $175 million net worth. This is a close one, but Simon gets the edge here for his higher net worth.

Winner: Simon Cowell

Simon: 1 / Gordon: 1

Round 3: Talent

There’s an old saying: when you can’t do, teach. In Simon Cowell’s case, it’s: if you can’t do, criticize relentlessly. To be fair though, he’s really good at it. One of the best in the world, in fact. Although he’s known for his appearances on music related television shows, he doesn’t have much of a reputation for singing himself. His biggest talent seems to be in television production and talent recognition, which he is spectacular at. Simon Cowell was also named one of Time Magazine’s 100 most influential people in the world in 2004 and 2010.

Conversely, Gordon Ramsay is not just super-talented at yelling; he’s also super-talented at cooking. His shows mostly revolve around the culinary arts, whether they’re based around competitions or rescue missions, so it’s a great benefit to him that he has excellent kitchen skills. His restaurants have gobbled up many awards, including the aforementioned Michelin Stars, and his skill at cooking is evident when he crafts a masterful recipe for a failing establishment. For his personal skills and accomplishments, we give this round to the guy with the knife.

Winner: Gordon Ramsay

Simon: 1 / Gordon: 2

Round 4: Meanness

It takes an epic amount of disregard for the feelings of others to say the things Simon says, and in front of millions of people, no less. His wit carries a unique quality of meanness that we really can’t find in too many other places. We’re pretty sure he says some things just to be cruel, even if he denies it. Some his hardcore followers even find themselves surprised by the harsh things he says. We’re just glad he does it on T.V., so we all get to see it.

Gordon Ramsay seems to be cut from the same cloth. The chef is extraordinarily skilled at tearing down a human being’s emotions and reducing them to a pile of crushed dreams. However, Ramsay is usually not just being mean for the sake of it. Sometimes, if a person messes up on one of Gordon’s shows, it can even literally mean life or death. If you’ve seen one of Ramsay’s shows, you know how dangerous a raw piece of chicken can be, so his anger is often justified. In terms of pure, unadulterated meanness, though, this round goes to Mr. Cowell.

Winner: Simon Cowell

Simon: 2 / Gordon: 2

Round 5: Entertainment Value

What is television supposed to be if not entertaining? Educational? Informative? Nah, get that stuff out of here. Simon took the airwaves by storm when we first heard his brutal insults and ultra-harsh criticisms. We couldn’t believe some of the things that were coming out of his mouth. They were the kind of things we all thought but never had the courage, or meanness, to say. Simon seems to have no regard for the feelings of others, and while he’s harsh, he’s also a blast to watch.

Similarly, Gordon Ramsay can often times shock us with his up-front and cringingly honest assessments of the food on some of his shows. Maybe we’ve never had risotto before, but we believe Gordon when he says it’s undercooked. Ramsay is also so clever with his tirades that he has become something of a meme machine. He is constantly turning out harsh words that keep the whole internet entertained, and that’s saying something. Despite the fact that Simon’s shows revolve around singers, dancers, and entertainers, we find that the Chef with the temper offers the most entertainment value.

Winner: Gordon Ramsay

Simon: 2 / Gordon: 3

There are the results. In professional success and meanness, Simon Cowell can’t be topped. However, in show quality, talent, and entertainment value, Gordon Ramsay takes the cake, so to speak. This makes Ramsay the biggest of the two British T.V. personalities.

Do you agree with the outcome? Which television star do you think wins between Gordon and Simon? For more videos published every day, be sure to subscribe to

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