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Top 10 Seinfeld Quotes

VO: Rebecca Brayton
Script written by Matthew Thomas. It may have been a show about nothing, but it had a lot to say. In this video, counts down our picks for the top 10 "Seinfeld" quotes. For this list, we’ve chosen the best and most memorable lines from the history of the show "Seinfeld." We've decided to leave off less commonly quoted lines, as well as concepts that may or may not have originated on the show and which have found a place in our collective consciousness. Special thanks to our users Muppet_Face and DaDestroyer1986 for submitting the idea on our Suggestions Page at WatchMojo.comsuggest

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Script written by Matthew Thomas.

Top 10 Seinfeld Quotes

It may have been a show about nothing, but it had a lot to say. Welcome to, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 Seinfeld quotes.

For this list, we’ve chosen the best and most memorable lines from the history of the show “Seinfeld.” We’ve decided to leave off less commonly quoted lines, as well as concepts that may or may not have originated on the show and which have found a place in our collective consciousness but may not be used in everyday life.

#10: “These pretzels are making me thirsty”
“The Alternate Side”

When Kramer’s unique charisma manages to gain the attention of famed director Woody Allen, he’s given a line in one of his movies – and he is going to get everything he can out of it. A line made all the more memorable by the fact that Kramer not only repeats it multiple times, but also tries to get the entire crew to chime in as well. The especially overwrought version uttered by George will always stay with us, making this a phrase we never fail to utter whenever we’re eating something salty.

#9: “And you want to be my latex salesman”
“The Boyfriend”

When George is cornered by his unemployment officer, he invents a position he was attempting to get at a made-up company with Jerry’s phone number. Like many of the lines on this list, it’s the circumstances surrounding this line that make it all the more legendary. Coming in the final seconds of the first part of this two-parter season 3 episode – with George’s pants firmly around his ankles –Kramer answers the phone and unintentionally destroys his friend’s ruse, setting the scene for this laugh-out-loud line courtesy of Jerry.

#8: “But are you still master of your domain?”
“The Contest”

The core of one of the most groundbreaking episodes of any show ever, this perfectly crafted line ensured the foursome never had to actually say the word “masturbation” in an episode that centers on the concept. But we all knew what they were talking about. Netting Larry David his only solo Emmy for writing, this particular episode was also chosen by TV Guide as the greatest TV episode of all time. We don’t think any of that well deserved praise would have been possible had this line not become a virtual catchphrase.

#7: “A Festivus for the rest of us”
“The Strike”

When Frank Costanza realized he was raining blows down upon another man over a doll he was trying to buy his son for Christmas, he realizes there has to be another way. The result is a new holiday and a classic Seinfeld line to boot. Perhaps it’s the catchy, rhyming nature of it all or Jerry Stiller’s outstanding, crazy-sounding delivery; but whatever it is, we know that hearing this quote always brings a smile to our faces. Let the airing of grievances begin.

#6: “But I don’t want to be a pirate”
“The Puffy Shirt”

We’ve all been in the situation where we just can’t make out what someone is saying but we don’t want to ask them to repeat it yet again, so we play along despite having no idea what is happening. When Jerry finds himself in that situation and as a result is coerced into wearing an ugly puffy shirt – on The Today Show, no less – his whiny and almost infantile response says it all. Despite empathizing with his situation, we can’t stop laughing at his desperation to escape his fate, and it’s all perfectly encapsulated in this one sentence.

#5: “Sponge-worthy”
“The Sponge”

When her favorite form of birth control is discontinued, Elaine manages to score a case of them – but decides to use them judiciously. Here’s another instance where the Seinfeld writers deftly handled a sticky situation – at least when it comes to network TV – and took the opportunity to create an hysterical scene in which Elaine’s potential lover is grilled about what makes him worthy of… coitus. An incredibly memorable quote for any fan of the show, this one skillfully sidesteps potential controversy and is just really funny.

#4: “Yada, yada, yada”
“The Yada Yada”

George’s latest girlfriend has a tendency to leave out the juiciest parts of any story, instead opting to include and further popularize this infuriating substitute phrase. You know that a quote worked perfectly when a line that first may’ve come to prominence in the 1950s – or even earlier – becomes most connected to your show in the mind of the public decades later. Named by the Paley Center as the funniest TV phrase of all time, we thought about including it and then yada, yada, yada here it is.

#3: “No soup for you!”
“The Soup Nazi”

Of all guest stars on “Seinfeld,” there is perhaps none more well-known than the Soup Nazi, the head of a restaurant specializing in soup who has militant views of what is acceptable of his customers. Strict and kinda hostile, this mustachioed chef won’t hesitate to take away your precious bisque or Mulligatawny if you so much as order the wrong way. The Soup Nazi and his most acclaimed quote became so massive; they spawned several commercial appearances and a cameo on an episode of “Scrubs” for the actor, Larry Thomas.

#2: “Serenity Now”
“The Serenity Now”

Another creation associated with George’s outrageous father Frank, “serenity now” was supposed to serve as a calming influence for the eccentric man and his escalating blood pressure. Instead, when he screams it at the top of his lungs, it’s upsetting for his wife and hilarious for the audience. Eventually spreading outside the Costanza family to Cosmo Kramer, to varying degrees of success of course; we’re told serenity now, insanity later. But we think it’s more like serenity now, hilarity always.

Before we reveal our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
- “Can’t spare a square”
“The Stall”
- “There was shrinkage!”
“The Hamptons”
- “You gotta see the baby!”
“The Boyfriend”
- “They’re real, and they’re spectacular”
“The Implant”
- “Well, the Jerk Store called, and they’re running out of you”
“The Comeback”

#1: “…Not that there’s anything wrong with that”
“The Outing”

In an episode that Jerry Seinfeld himself has stated lampoons both homophobia and extreme political correctness, this particular quote has that kind of dual meaning and layers that ensure its place at the top of our list. Not desiring to be wrongfully identified as homosexual nor perceived as homophobic, Jerry and George strenuously deny the gay rumors that dog them in this GLAAD Media Award-winning episode by uttering this line at every turn. Plus, it’s identified by Jason Alexander as the most popular catchphrase in the series history, so who are we to disagree with that?

Do you agree with our list? Which Seinfeld quote do you think is the king of the castle? For more funny Top 10s published daily, be sure to subscribe to

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