Top 10 Victoria Wood Sketches

#10: Continuity

We’ll be seeing a lot of regular and repeated sketches in this video, but one of the best is the snobbish, judgmental continuity announcer, played by Susie Blake. Blake is full of contempt for the BBC, her viewers, and her fellow broadcasters and television executives. Many of the sketches in “As Seen on TV” were specifically lampooning the BBC and its most popular programmes, and the meta-jokes are taken to another level from Blake, who hates everything the broadcaster makes. It was almost like Wood was seeing into the future, though, predicting Anne Robinson’s long and ruthless “Points of View” tenure; there was certainly a bit of Susie Blake in her.

#9: A Fairly Ordinary Man

A young Jim Broadbent stars here as, as the mockumentary title would suggest, a fairly ordinary man. The day gets off to a bad start, though, with his sister distressed at being given some very watery porridge for breakfast rather than Shreddies. We also see him sitting down with his long-suffering fiancée as they peruse a catalogue of kitchenware, having just one comment about everything they see. Things descend into chaos when Pat’s mother starts bothering Jim about whether they’re going to have any children. Then he settles down in front of the television for an early night, and that’s that.

#8: Swim the Channel

Another documentary item, Wood stars as Chrissie, a young girl who just wants to swim the English Channel – and meet Bonnie Tyler, of course. Her supportive parents do their best to encourage Chrissie, along with her ruthless swimming coach Mrs Hennigan, who takes her out to practice late at night. But then we learn that Chrissie’s parents aren’t as supportive as they seem, and actually couldn’t give a toss about Chrissie or what she’s doing; they’d rather go up to London and watch “Cats” on the West End. While swimming, Chrissie predictably goes missing, and we’re treated to one last revelation about her mum and dad…

#7: Keep On Shopping

At a fancy tea room, the patrons all unite to sing a bombastic musical number about their love of shopping. It begins by tricking you into thinking it might be a love ballad about how hard it is to find the right man when you’ve been looking and looking – but no. It’s all about that universal struggle to find something specific to buy, the one thing you need. Then Wood turns up to boast about a recent bargain she’s found that turns out to be so cheap because it was made abroad. It really is exhausting to spend an entire day trying to find your way around a department store, though.

#6: Kitty

Patricia Routledge starred as Kitty in this regular segment where she monologues as a semi-agony aunt with utter contempt for the people who need her advice. Kitty’s got a lot of words of wisdom, though, including staying young by covering your face in mashed swede and refusing to ever eat Midget Gems. In another, she talks about her run-ins with posh broadcasters in the BBC cafeteria and then dismisses a handful of audience letters while waxing lyrical about her beloved Cheadle. What would you ask Kitty if you had the opportunity? Probably for advice about your sex life or what the best brand of sherry is.

#5: Television Classics Coronation Street

In hazy black and white, Victoria Wood stars as Ena Sharples, Weatherfield’s most notorious gossip, in a loving send-up of “Corrie”. Julie Walters is on hand to deliver vaguely Manchester-sounding gibberish before Ena gets down to business: all the rumours she’s heard about the tragedies set to imminently strike the Rovers Return and its regulars. It’s a sketch that required an extensive knowledge of “Coronation Street” both to write and to really enjoy, with many “Corrie” stars praising Wood’s spoof after the fact. You wouldn’t get such an incisive look at the soaps from Monty Python, that’s for sure.

#4: Margery & Joan

Regular characters Margery and Joan were two daytime and lifestyle television hosts who couldn’t hide their hatred for one another. These sketches are a masterclass in British passive aggression, with the pair either insulting each other or their viewers, who might NEVER have been to Spain to get a nice little pottery bowl. In one extremely memorable sketch they’re flogging a brand-new type of double glazing, where they get rid of that pesky, heat-losing glass entirely and replace all the windows with bricks. It’s a real attack on the patronising nature of magazine shows and their hosts, who almost definitely can’t stand each other behind-the-scenes.

#3: Bessie

In a parody of Andrew Lloyd Webber, whose musicals were only getting bigger and sillier throughout the eighties, a highbrow theatre director wants to bring classic children’s character Bessie Bunter to the West End. A documentary goes behind-the-scenes of “Bessie!”, with Celia Imrie interviewing the cast and crew, who insist that the show is biographical. Drama plagues the production, though, with the original actress, Carla, sacked for being both too thin AND having pneumonia, only to be replaced with Wood. We get to see the outrageous opening number being rehearsed in full-costume, and yet again have to applaud her comic genius. Nobody else could have come up with this.

#2: Acorn Antiques

Another soap parody, “Acorn Antiques” was so wildly popular that Wood eventually turned it into a successful stage musical. But rather than going for “Corrie”, this time, she had “Crossroads” and its infamously low budget in her sights. The little antiques shop is ground zero for all kinds of family conflicts, like the debate over who’s going to inherit Daddy’s fortune after he’s shot and killed in Dakar. It’s the mistakes that really make it, though, with characters flubbing lines, missing cues, bits of the set breaking, and actors accidentally blocking the cameras.

#1: The Ballad of Barry and Freda

Yes, this iconic song debuted for the first time on “As Seen on TV”, and soon became the most popular number in Wood’s oeuvre. For five glorious minutes, we’re given all the insight we’ll ever need into the marriage of Barry and his long-suffering, sex-starved wife Freda, who’s absolutely desperate to get her leg over. More than anything else, this showcased Wood’s talents for observation, with every set-up and punchline being an incisive look at middle England and its stereotypical, sexual repression. Euphemism after euphemism and excuse after excuse just keep coming, until you get to that final, legendary punchline.

Which Victoria Wood sketch shows should we cover next? Or do you prefer her stand-up? Let us know!