Mario Mortgage Crisis? Really?
Decades on and the Mushroom Kingdom’s resident plumber is showing no signs of slowing down. Even after his acclaimed return to glory with Super Mario Odyssey, Mario has already set himself up pretty nicely with a new tennis game as well as a spot in the upcoming Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Seems quantity and quality follow this Nintendo icon around n equal measure…except where some of these bizarre entries are concerned.
#5: “Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix” (2005)
Remember that huge Dance Dance craze a few years back? Well, everyone’s love of dancing over plastic mats certainly didn’t go unnoticed by Nintendo. As a result, Mario hit the dance floor in order to reclaim four musical keys stolen by Waluigi, the series’ lamest villain. Among its stranger moments was the section in which Mario danced to control a spaceship made out of trumpets.
#4: “Super Princess Peach” (2005)
For as long as we can remember Mario has saved the princess, but not this time! Here, the endlessly captured royal must return the favor. It’s an interesting premise, but it’s tragically undercut by sexist undertones. Namely, that Peach’s intense emotions give her superpowers. We’re all for girl power, but its shocking that rage gives her hot flashes, joy makes her fly, gloom makes her powerful, and calm regenerates her health. Alas, this was not the post-feminist masterpiece it was destined to be.
#3: “Hotel Mario” (1994)
You knew that we’d mention this infamous Philips CD-I game at some point. Well, here it is, Mario’s ill-fated adventure through Bowser’s many hotels. Horrific play issues and garish video cut scenes aside, it’s quite odd that a company that once operated a real-life love hotel would allow their mascot to haplessly wonder into anything resembling one.
#2: “Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games” (2007)
The portly plumber has appeared in countless sports games, ranging from Golf to Tennis. One might suppose that that alone would make his entry into the Olympic games easier to swallow. What it doesn’t gloss over is the fact that he’s sharing space with his arch nemesis from the 16-bit era. Seriously, who believes that Mario could ever match Sonic the Hedgehog in a foot race?
#1: Fortune Street (2011)
Taking the top spot on our list is Mario’s attempt to cash in on all this recent economy talk. That’s right, it’s a board game like Mario Party, which forgoes traditional mini-games in favor of all the fun there is to be had in the mortgage crisis! Why would Mario even bother with this anyway, the guy collects so many gold coins he literally buys himself new lives all the time.
Be sure to check out the video below to see our picks for the Top 10 Hardest Mario Levels.