Top 30 Friends Jokes That Will NEVER Get Old

In season three Joey decides to build a mail cubby for the apartment. Knowing Joey, that probably would have been an adventure all its own. But, as he explains to Chandler, what began as a mail cubby turned into a full on entertainment unit project. Chandler is on board at first, but his patience wears thin as the construction drags on. Especially when an electric drill bit comes through the wall just inches from his head. It’s a scary moment for him, but leads to one of his many great lines, when a concerned Joey asks if he got him with the drill. A question that really needn’t be asked given that Chandler is alive to answer it.

As season four began it looked like Ross and Rachel were going to get back together after working through the issues regarding Ross’s infidelity - or not - depending on what side of ‘they were on a break’ you fall on. However, when Rachel finds out that Ross agreed to the things stipulated in the letter she wrote him without having actually read the whole letter, the break up is back on the table. While we might not approve of Ross lying about having read the letter in the first place, we do understand his point about how ridiculously long it was. The one-liners really just keep going in this scene but the funniest might be Ross’ delivery about the letter being a pretty good sleep aid.

Can you talk about human evolution without snickering when someone says the latin term for an extinct species? Well, we know Joey and Rachel can’t. We also know that even just saying the word “erect” around Chandler is setting him up for a joke. The latter didn’t disappoint in season two when Ross took a work call in front of him and exclaimed what is a valid claim to those in the field but what sounds pretty suspicious to the rest of us. Without missing a beat and in between bites of Chinese takeout, Chandler commiserates with the poor guy.

Everything about Ross and the bagpipes is funny. While we all remember the final scene of that episode with Phoebe singing along to Ross’ playing, we also can’t forget an LOL moment from earlier in the episode. The bagpipes come onto the scene when Ross tells Chandler and Monica that he has a surprise for their wedding. Well, during dinner one night, Monica and Chandler discover - to their horror - what that surprise is, which leads Monica to reprimand Chandler for his family heritage. Chandler, in turn, has some opinions of his own about Monica’s family.

Apparently, Joey only gets two strikes with oafish comments before Chandler lets him have it. The first comes when Joey asks a question that has a very obvious answer. The second is some slow mental calculation that eats up time more than anything. This is Chandler’s breaking point and he delivers what has to be one of his most brutal quips. It’s a classic, and Matthew Perry miming the removal of the Q-tip from his ear and into his pocket is just the cherry on top. Plus, it doubles as a hilarious PSA.

One of Phoebe’s favorite made up words is phalange - and she uses it on multiple occasions over the course of the series. Most of the time it's as part of her go-to fake name: Regina Phalange. But, in the series finale, she breaks it out as a way to try and get Rachel off a plane sitting on the tarmac so that Ross can confess his feelings before it’s too late. Unfortunately, the nervous passenger sitting next to Rachel overhears this conversation and takes Phoebe’s intuition to heart. This might just be the best bit from an extra on the show. And it still has us laughing.

There wasn’t much funny about the Ross and Rachel break up in season 3 (although there were some good laughs to be had via the rest of the gang hiding in the bedroom). The one great thing to come of it, though, has to be the now-iconic argument, “We were on a break”. While we reference it often in our own lives, the show itself actually calls back to it pretty frequently too. Whether it’s Ross repeatedly defending his point or Rachel getting his son Ben on her side of the disagreement, the mention of “the break” gets a solid LOL each and every time.

Where do we even begin with this one? Wanting to pass down holiday traditions to your kids is not asking too much. With Ross’ luck, though, we’re not surprised it panned out this way. When Ross decides teaching Ben about Hanukkah doesn’t need to mean taking away Santa Claus, he sets out in search of a big red suit and white beard. Unfortunately, the only costume left at the store was that of an armadillo. And, like, it’s pretty impressive, right? The short arms, the massive shell, the tail that swings when he trots along… The only thing that makes it even better is when Santa-Chandler shows up. Well, here’s to new holiday traditions, we guess.

When Chandler starts dating Kathy he’s disappointed when they get intimate and she doesn’t seem to enjoy it as much as she did with her previous boyfriend… Joey. Chandler is intimidated by Joey’s supposed sexual prowess and goes to Monica and Rachel for advice. The girls provide him with a list of all seven female erogenous zones and even a suggestion for the order in which he might stimulate them. Apparently, this is Monica’s preferred order because she gets completely caught up in it. The scene is so perfectly executed by Courteney Cox and we have to commend her for really committing to the bit.

What would you say if you were stuck in an ATM vestibule with Victoria’s Secret model Jill Goodacre and she offered you a piece of gum? Maybe you’d say “yes, please”, “Thank you” or “Sure, I’d love one”. Unfortunately, for a flustered Chandler, he makes a different choice. First, he asks if it’s sugarless and then refuses the offering. Wait, it gets worse. After admonishing himself for not taking the gum he tries to make up for it by asking her for a piece. Instead of just asking like a normal person, though, he awkwardly informs her that a piece of gum “would be perfection”. Perry’s hysterical voiceover never fails to get us giggling up a storm.

Chandler’s sarcasm is one of the most consistent features of the show. Whether he’s reminding Joey of how babies are made or wishing for a million dollars after Rachel first comes into Central Perk in the pilot, his characterization remains reliable in all ten seasons. He’s very aware of how prominent this personality trait is, and references it himself later in the show when Rachel comes to him looking for advice and he delivers this iconic line. At least he’s self aware! Maybe she should try Ross or Monica next time.

One of the show’s most iconic episodes is the season four premiere when Ross and Rachel reconcile after he fails to read her letter and inadvertently admits fault in their breakup. Their reunion is short lived however because as soon as Rachel realizes what has happened, she loses it. Ross and Rachel’s fights are always epic, and this is truly one for the books. As they hurl insults at each other, their jabs get nastier and nastier. Rachel tries to get the last word with this reveal. It inevitably left many fans speculating about what exactly she was talking about.

Chandler’s job is a near constant joke throughout the series, and the more we learn about it, the more depressing it seems. He clearly doesn’t have a passion for the industry he’s in, so in season nine he decides to embark on a new career in advertising. When he tries out his chops coming up with promotional slogans for inanimate objects around the apartment, Monica is understandably skeptical - but manages to hook him up with an internship anyway. We’re not sure anyone would hire him based on concepts like "Cheese - It's milk... that you chew,” but he gets an A for effort.

There are plenty of “Friends” jokes that we didn’t understand when the show initially aired that have a whole new meaning now that we’re all grown up. In this episode, Ross and Rachel encounter obstacles while they’re trying to plan their date, and eventually end up cozied up in the planetarium at Ross’s museum. As they make out while lying on a blanket together, something happens that makes Rachel reassure Ross that it’s okay. He replies that he actually just rolled over a juice box and the result is one of the most adult jokes to ever occur on the show.

When Rachel and Phoebe enroll in a self defense class, Ross tries to undermine their newfound confidence in their own safety by telling them that they’ll never be truly safe without practicing “unagi”. They, of course, make fun of him, asking if he’s talking about a kind of sushi, and he subsequently spends the episode trying to scare them. The girls end up winning this battle however, with Ross eventually going to see their self defense teacher and coming off like a total weirdo who is trying to learn how to attack women.

In season five, Ross is dealing with some rage issues due to his divorce and eviction. It all comes to a head when one of his coworkers steals his sandwich. And it’s not just any sandwich - it’s the special Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich featuring the “moist maker”. Clearly, his anger over the sandwich is representative over the frustration he’s feeling about his entire life, but it’s still hilarious when he realizes that his boss was the one who took it- and had the gall to throw part of it away, causing Ross to scream so loud that the pigeons outside heard it.

For many of us, Joey is the most relatable of the “Friends” gang, and one of his qualities that makes us identify with him most is his love of food. In the show’s final season, he’s dating Phoebe’s friend Sarah, but their dinner out takes a negative turn when she tries to eat some of his fries. Describing the date to Phoebe, he yells this now-iconic line. When he agrees to another date, he ends up having to explain to Sarah as well that he does NOT share food when, despite his best efforts, she always wants to eat from his plate. He does however get a taste of his own medicine when she opts not to share her dessert with him.

When Monica gets a spray tan, Ross becomes jealous of her newly bronzed skin and decides to try it himself. Unfortunately however, the tanning process is a little bit too complicated for him. Because he counts with Mississippis, he ends up being sprayed multiple times on his front rather than on his back. When he goes back to try to rectify the situation, he only manages to make it worse. Though the entire storyline is hilarious, Chandler gets in the best joke of the episode with this quip.

Of course, “Friends” had to end with one final joke. In the series finale, we see the group of besties leaving the apartment for the last time. It’s a tear-filled scene (for both the characters and the audience), but Chandler cuts the tension in just the way fans would expect. When Rachel asks if Monica and Chandler have time to go for a coffee before they head to their new house, Chandler quippily responds. Any true fan knows there’s only one possible option for a cafe nearby, which is why this line always makes us chuckle even through our sobs.

Joey shows on a few occasions that he doesn’t have a great grasp of the English language, including when he signs a letter “Baby Kangaroo Tribbiani”. And sometimes, his misunderstandings actually cause us to question whether what we thought we knew made sense to begin with. When he tries to educate Rachel on what a “moo point” is - explaining that it’s like a cow’s opinion in that it doesn’t matter - we can’t help but feel like it actually adds up. In a slightly less understandable example, he somehow never learned that an Adam's apple isn’t named after each individual man.

Rachel does some pretty impulsive things throughout the series, but one of the most notable is when she buys a pricey hairless cat that her friends aren’t exactly fond of. Everyone has something to say about her new feline friend, whether it’s claiming it’s a hand or asking why it’s inside out. The real kicker of course is when she finally finds someone to take it off her hands: Gunther. Even he doesn’t quite understand what he’s gotten himself into, because he thought it was some kind of snake. Oops!

We probably could have told you that letting Joey and Chandler look after baby Ben was not going to go well. They get distracted when talking to some cute girls, and end up inadvertently leaving Ben on a city bus. It turns out they weren’t the only ones to lose a baby that day, and they have to pick between two infants- one of whom is wearing an outfit covered in clowns while the other is sporting ducks. They decide to flip a coin to decide, and Joey says that ducks should be heads because… ducks have heads. Chandler’s response to this logic is one for the books.

Monica and Chandler’s secret relationship is a plot point for much of the show’s fifth season, and it all comes to a head in this episode where everyone gradually finds out what’s been going on between them. The other friends are let in on the secret one by one, and eventually they’re just hiding it from Ross. But the lengths at which they go to mess with one another in an attempt to hold on to the secret a little bit longer is hilarious - especially when Phoebe uses this flawless logic that is super easy to understand.

Poor Ross always seems to have something bad happen to him. For New Year’s, Ross makes a resolution to do one new thing every day. One of those things ends up being wearing leather pants, which turns into an abject calamity. He wears them on a date, but when he goes to the bathroom he can’t get them back up again. Things keep getting worse and worse as he tries different tactics to eliminate the moisture from his legs. While Joey tries to offer him advice, it doesn’t make things any better.

In season one, Rachel gets depressed about her financial situation after she receives her first paycheque and realizes how much she loses to taxes. While Phoebe and Monica try to cheer her up, they instead end up catching some of her despair. Monica worries that she doesn’t have a life plan, and when she asks Phoebe if she has one, she has the perfect response. We can definitely all relate to the idea of not knowing what we’re doing with our lives, and Phoebe is all of us in this scene.

No one was probably ready for this joke. Here we find Ross trying to get everyone out of the apartment on time to attend his event, but all his buddies are slowing him down in their own way. Joey and Chandler end up in a feud over who lays claim over the best “spot” in the living room and it escalates quickly. The highlight is when Joey decides to put on all of Chandler’s clothes and impersonates him, all while doing lunges.

Rachel isn’t exactly a master chef, and this is shown on several occasions throughout the series. No moment is more memorable however than when she attempts to make a traditional trifle for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, the pages of her cookbook get stuck together and she ends up making a meal that’s part trifle and part shepherd pie. The result is an absolute disaster, and her friends all come up with creative ways to dispose of their portions to avoid hurting her feelings. Except Joey of course, who is a big fan and eats the entire thing.

Joey Tribbiani appearing on a televised game show… oh boy. When Monica announces that he’ll be going on “Pyramid”, we all had a feeling how it would go. But no one would have expected how hilarious he would be. His appearance as the celebrity guest on this game show is absolutely priceless, mostly because he’s so utterly bad at the game and his partner gets increasingly frustrated with him. Whether he’s unintentionally giving away the answers or trying to get them right, we still find ourselves yelling, “paper, snow, A GHOST!” whenever the mood strikes us. Monica and Ross’ storyline in the same episode is just as hilarious, as they find out that they inadvertently kissed when they were younger.

Many consider this episode to be the absolute pinnacle of “Friends” because it encompasses so many elements of what makes the show great. While it consists mostly of the gang hanging out at the apartment together, it also includes an unforgettable competition between the guys and the girls. And while they’re playing, we get some hilarious backstory on each of them. As viewers, we didn’t think there was any way the girls would actually lose their apartment, so it’s all the more shocking and funny when they do, especially during the game’s final moments when Rachel doesn’t actually know what Chandler does for a living.

Returning to the theme of everything bad happening to Ross...when he decides to buy a new couch, he refuses to pay for delivery, ensuring everyone that he can handle moving it himself - with a little help from his friends, of course. When he and Rachel aren’t able to get the couch through the building’s staircase, they bring in Chandler for extra support. Ross screams at them to PIVOT over and over again even though it’s clearly not helping. Eventually, Chandler loses his cool with this frustrated response. At least Ross has his store credit!

Which “Friends” joke still gets a big laugh out of you? Let us know in the comments.