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WRITTEN BY: Michael Wynands
These names are so bad we're even embarrassed to say them ourselves. For this list, we'll be looking at various products that have silly, uncomfortable, or downright offensive names. Our countdown includes TrekStor iBeat Blaxx, Wunder Boner, Nintendo DS Touch Dic, Ayds, and more!

#20: Nad's

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This is one of the biggest products on our list, so it would seem that unfortunate naming hasn’t held it back. Created and founded in 1992 by an Australian woman, whose daughter wanted to wax her arms with less pain, it’s gone on to become one of the world’s leading hair removal products. However, “nads” is a slang term often used for something else - popularly used in sentences such as “oh man, that guy got hit right in the nads!” The success of Nad’s as a business just goes to show that a great product can indeed overcome a questionable name.

#19: TrekStor iBeat Blaxx

It’s hard to believe this name was even considered. In the 2000s, German company TrekStor came up with an idea for what to call their new Mp3 player. And the outlandishly bad name they went with sounded like it was making light of prejudice and violence. Shortly after TrekStor was called out for its horrendously bad decision, the company issued an apology and promptly renamed their product. According to the company’s vice president, it was named “blaxx” because of its “elegant black piano finish”. But… it’s still mind-boggling that they missed the obvious problem there - even if English wasn’t their first language.

#18: Reebok Incubus

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What do women want to wear on their feet? In the mid 90s, Reebok’s marketing team answered this question with: demonic spirits who take advantage of women in their sleep. In 1996, the company launched athletic footwear for women called “Reebok Incubus”. The male counterpart of a succubus, an incubus is a mythological demon said to prey on women at night while they’re unconscious. Clearly, no one bothered to research what the name actually meant. At least, we hope that’s the explanation. When an ABC News report broke the story, Reebok had to apologize and change the name.

#17: Dry Sack Sherry

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“Dry” is an interesting adjective. When you use it to describe skin, you think of unpleasant things like bitter winter months. But when you combine the word “dry” with wine, you think of an enjoyable adult beverage. So we can see why Williams & Humbert wanted to use it to describe its sherry. But then they added the word sack. In this product’s defense, “sack” is actually a term that was historically used in the winemaking profession to describe certain fortified wines. But modern audiences are likely going to be too distracted by the words “dry” and “sack” together to recognize the historical meaning behind the name.

#16: K.U.M Hair Care

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It doesn’t matter if you spell it with a “k” or a “c” - it comes out sounding the same when you say it out loud… or put it on a shampoo bottle. The intended use of this product, coupled with its unfortunate name, naturally invites a whole slew of dirty jokes that are too cheap and easy to bother making. The product line uses kumquat extract as a key ingredient – which was apparently such a distinguishing feature of this hair care line that the need to put “K-U-M” in the name trumped all business and marketing sense.

#15: IKEA’s FARTFULL Work Bench

No one makes furniture quite like IKEA—or as much of it. The home furnishing juggernaut has risen to prominence while committing to a specific naming system...that happens to include the word fartfull for a workbench. You see, IKEA mostly relies on common words from Sweden and neighboring countries to make product names. Rugs tend to be named after Scandinavian towns. Other products borrow plant and animal names. But while “Fartfull” might mean “speedy” to those who speak Swedish, it has a far more unsavory implication for non-Swedish speaking shoppers. Based on the name alone, we’re keeping this workbench outside.

#14: 666 Cold Preparation

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This is just one of those strange ones. Are the manufacturers of this seemingly run of the mill cold medicine intentionally invoking 666, the number of the beast? If so, there are multiple ways to interpret this. They could be looking to corner the Goth, Satanist or even heavy metal healthcare market. Alternatively, this could be an attempt at marketing this product as the right choice for a hellishly bad cold. Either way, it’s hard to imagine that the name helped with sales, especially within more religiously conscious groups. Apparently it tasted awful too!

#13: Wunder Boner (wonder)

Looking to put together a gift basket of unfortunately named products for a loved one with a penchant for puns? You’ve already got the Pocket Fisherman, so why not add a Wunder Boner! In all fairness, if you’ve ever deboned a fish, you’ll know that it is no simple task, especially if you’re inexperienced or don’t have the right tools. The Wunder Boner seemingly facilitates removing bones from a fish - and based on the commercial, any immature wordplay was intentional. Marketing 101 states that you should “know your target market”. If the product gets the job done and your target demographic is a couple of dudes on a fishing trip, who can blame them for throwing in a cheap laugh?

#12: The “Fischer's Automatische Gussstahlkugelfabrik” Detector III

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Are you in need of the perfect tool to monitor and balance machine vibrations? No? Okay, this isn’t exactly a “must-have” consumer good for the average household. However, there’s the shortened version of the name that would definitely turn the heads of the masses. We agree that “Fischer's Automatische Gussstahlkugelfabrik” is a mouthful that warrants abbreviation. But sometimes, the acronym is not the way to go. The word that results when you combine the first letters of this product name has long been on the list of offensive, pejorative words you just don’t say. While the device probably works fine, we’re confident the name could use an alteration or two.

#11: Crea-Mass

This particular brand of creatine is a bodybuilding supplement that promises to help you gain mass. Now, we’re all for telling the people what they’re getting. It’s just good marketing practice! Do you know what else is good practice? Reading a product’s name out loud before you plaster it all over the place. Bodybuilders will go to all sorts of extremes to reach their goals and get those gains. But with Crea-Mass, well, it sounds like you’re getting a lot more than you bargained for. Like… maybe a laxative as well? If you notice someone using this product at the gym, maybe keep your distance when they’re doing squats.

#10: The Jew's Ear Juice

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Mmmm, who wants a long warm draught of ear juice? Poured right from the source. The name of this Chinese beverage actually comes from one of its ingredients, a kind of fungus commonly called Jew's Ear. In 2010, Israel's Consul-General in Shanghai Jackie Eldan (elle-DAN) praised the name, saying that it reflected the Chinese perception of Jews as hard-working and successful. But according to a company spokesperson, it really was just all about the fungus. After the confusion, they decided to change the name to Black Fungus Juice. To be honest, it doesn’t actually sound that much more appealing ...

#9: Wack Off!

This heavy duty insect repellent makes a number of big claims. It promises tropical strength protection and is used by the Armed Forces. It also advertises itself as being “maxi-strength deet”, which, wilderness enthusiasts can clarify, is not a real measurement of Diethyltoluamide, but more akin to answering “a lot!”. But with a real concentration of 346g/kg of DEET, this is honestly some seriously potent insect repellent. The only issue? The fact that “WACK OFF!” is written three times bigger than anything else on this tube full of gel. We shudder to think of the poor soul who read that label too quickly late one night.

#8: Mother Fukker's Salted Peanuts

We seriously doubt that the people behind this salty snack were completely unaware of how people would read this product name. But, in their defense, the questionable word is pronounced “Few-ker’s”. There’s not a ton of information available about these peanuts, but every now and then they’ll pop up on Ebay or an online vintage marketplace. What we do know is that the name was apparently problematic enough that the Norwich Packing Company felt the need to include the pronunciation in their trademark. In legal paperwork, the company emphasizes that it’s pronounced FEW-KERS. But despite the company’s tremendous efforts around its product’s name, we probably won’t be bringing these home for mom.

#7: Nintendo DS Touch Dic

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Many of the poorly named products on our list today come from small to mid-sized companies. So we’re honestly shocked to see a mistake this uncomfortable from Nintendo. That’s truly shocking. Honestly, even researching this product was challenging. Those are NOT two words you want to be Googling on your work computer. Surprisingly, Nintendo DS Touch Dic is not, in fact, an adult game or even a dating sim. It’s actually just about the tamest thing that the company has ever put out—because it’s a dictionary. The game came out exclusively in South Korea. But pressure and probably a few laughs from Western audiences ensured that the title was changed to the completely safe “Touch Dictionary.”

#6: Golden Circle Sars

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In the medical world, SARS stands for “severe acute respiratory syndrome”. However, it’s also the name of a beverage manufactured by the Golden Circle company. We know that the kids love a cool abbreviation, but in this case, more is more. Label a can as “sarsaparilla” and consumers will think you’re old-fashioned. Stamp the letters “SARS” across it—in all caps —and they’ll seriously second-guess your ingredients. Oddly enough, there were some claims that Golden Circle’s poorly named beverage experienced increased sales during the SARS coronavirus outbreak in 2003. A similar sales spike in Corona was reported shortly after Covid-19, another coronavirus, was declared a pandemic in early 2020.

#5: Finger Marie [aka McVitie's Cookies] (mick vitties)

First of all, we don’t take too kindly to foods that tell us what to do. Second, when did cookies get so bossy?! While McVitie’s is a British snack food company, this particular name comes from the name of one of their products in Sweden. While Marie is the name for a type of biscuit, it’s probably not the first thought people have in mind when they see this product’s packaging. Finger cookies are great in all shapes, sizes, and flavors. But when you’re naming them, keep first names out of it!

#4: Alien Versus Predator: Child Predator Hands

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Wow. Where do we even start with this one? Considering it’s merchandising for an established film franchise that takes itself seriously, we’re pretty sure the name wasn’t meant as a joke. It’s just a really bad sequence of words that should never have been brought together—let alone slapped on a product intended for children. On second thought though, who is the intended demographic here? We’re pretty sure there has yet to be a film in the Predator franchise that would rightly qualify as child-friendly. This product raises many questions, but there’s one thing that we’re absolutely certain about: its name should’ve never gotten the green light. Most listings have—unsurprisingly—since been updated.

#3: Cemen Dip

There are a number of unique bathing options out there. You can dip in hot springs, mud baths and even beer baths. The latter actually has a long history in Eastern Europe and has some health benefits! However, THIS kind of dip sounds … altogether dubious. Oh wait … this is a dip in the food sense? Wow. That’s... actually worse. Spelled with a “C”, cemen (pronounced “tcheh-MEN”) is, in reality, a popular type of dip or spread that hails from Turkey. It can be made from tomato paste, garlic and walnuts—nope, we’re not going there. Honestly, reading the ingredients, it actually sounds pretty good. But it would certainly benefit from a rebrand in English markets.

#2: Ayds

This appetite suppressant wasn’t just a real product—it was a hit! Originally produced by The Carlay Company, its roots date all the way back to the 1930s. It wasn’t until the 1970s and early ‘80s, however, that it really hit its stride and became an industry leader. But that all changed when awareness about “acquired immunodeficiency syndrome” or AIDS increased drastically in the ’80s. It also didn’t help that the primary function of the product - losing weight - was also one of the symptoms of the condition. The company tried to pivot by rebranding its product as “Aydslim” and “Diet Ayds.” But in the early ‘90s, the company gave up and ceased production. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. Lovesac They Sell Clean Furniture, But the Name Sounds Dirty P-Touch Did Anyone Think This One Through? D Bag You Had 25 Other Letters You Could’ve Chosen

#1: Rexona Girl 24H Intensive Pussy Wind Hello Kitty Anti-Perspirant

Where to begin with this product? Probably with general advice to all aspiring product marketers out there that while “pussycat” is a cute way to refer to a feline, you can’t take the word “cat” away and expect people to still understand. We can chalk up this lengthy name to a series of bad translations that serendipitously came together in one truly awful name. “24H Intensive” wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t followed by those next two words. We can only assume that “wind” was supposed to mean that it’s an aerosol spray...? But by the time you read “Hello Kitty” and understand that that’s the feline they were referring to… it’s much too late.

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I agreed with this worst list.
I definitely agreed with this very terrible & so wrong list.
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