Top 20 Times South Park Characters ROASTED Each Other

It’s all too common for good friends to rib each other all in good fun. But on more than one occasion, as we’ll come to see, Cartman has been the butt of the joke. And as much as his mom thinks he’s the perfect little boy, even she succumbs to laughter once in a while. Such was the case during Season 3’s Halloween-themed episode. After claiming Eric isn’t fat, but just big-boned, Kyle comes around with a real zinger that puts Liane in stitches. As often as she comes to his defense, we love seeing her join in on the laughter.

Despite the occasional ups and downs of “South Park,” two characters have remained the best of friends throughout the show’s run: Stan & Kyle. Yet during Season 19’s “ad” story, Stan becomes suspicious of Kyle and the two end up in a heated argument in the cafeteria. With Butters, Kenny, and Cartman all watching, Kyle turns the dial up to 11 by calling Stan a “Cartman,” to which Eric responds with “Oh that’s low.” From there, we’re treated to Stan literally sounding like Cartman as a fistfight breaks out. Not only is the insult a low blow for Kyle, but the fact that Cartman agrees with him makes it even better.

When Stan and Butters both have their hearts broken, we get to watch how two very different characters deal with breakups. Stan joins the goth kids and talks about pain all day where Butters accepts the reality that sometimes bad things just happen. So when Stan and the goths find him crying on the street, Michael (yes that is the tall goth kid’s name) offers to let Butters join their gang. And just as he always is, Butters is ever so polite as he declines but manages to get a fantastic, albeit highly inappropriate, jab at Stan’s new friends. It’s a surprise roast after such a heartfelt confession from the sweetest kid in town.

Speaking of Butters, did you know he’s Hawaiian? Neither did we until he went full-on Hulk against his classmates. Forever depicted as the nicest and most innocent character in town, he beats up a fellow classmate apparently for no reason. When the boys try to talk to him, we get one of the best tear-downs the show has ever seen. He rips into Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and even Jimmy in a back-and-forth hallway rant. He even rhetorically tells his dad to shove it when hauled into the principal’s office. We love angry Butters, but we also love how even when he’s berating people, he never uses even the smallest piece of profanity. How considerate!

For those who’ve watched this show long enough, you’ll know how often Cartman makes fun of poor people. It started as far back in Season 1 when he cracked jokes about Kenny’s family living in a cardboard box. Since then, he’s made countless jabs at Kenny’s expense, only to find himself in a similar situation. Season 15’s “The Poor Kid” gives audiences countless cracks about people in financial distress, but with a twist. With Kenny’s family in foster care, Eric is now the “poor kid” in town. And how does he cope with it? By relentlessly mocking himself until he can find a new target. It’s entertaining to hear him faux-insult himself and his mom, while we all know he has something else in mind.

The first mistake Liane made was thinking a reality TV nanny was going to tame Cartman down. The next one was thinking Eric was ever going to be even remotely civil to her. After the nanny takes his Xbox, he insults her, spits in her mouth, and keeps on trucking. Yet it’s when she starts her heart-to-heart that we really see how bad Cartman can get. What starts as a polite conversation between them quickly nosedives as Eric quietly roasts her social and maternal relationships to the point where she’s disgusted and leaves. No wonder it took a dog trainer to get him under control.

Okay, so we know this is more of a catchphrase than a roast, but come on! In the earlier days of “South Park,” Cartman would often utter this phrase as a way of flipping off just about anyone. Whether it was his friends, the teachers, or even Jennifer Aniston’s Miss Stevens. When Eric has had enough, he blows them off with one simple sentence, turns his back, and is on his way. Far more polite than some of the entries on this list, it cuts through everything else and just gets to the point. Screw you guys, we love this roast.

Sometimes a good jab is a finely crafted joke that builds up over the course of a conversation. Then at just the right moment, you deliver the punchline and all the waiting becomes worth it. Other times, we’re presented with a fast quip that comes out of nowhere and surprises everyone. The latter was the case when Stan poked fun at girls' volleyball, giving Cartman and the other boys a great laugh. What makes this even better however is Stan’s reaction when he realizes his girlfriend Wendy is the butt of the joke. Looks like Stan forgot the golden rule of comedy: know your audience.

Butters doesn’t get football, and he tells this to his friends proclaiming that’s why he’s terrible at playing it. In a quick retort, Stan makes it clear that Butters just outright sucks at all sports. This alone is a fantastic little jab. But it’s Stotch’s comeback that we never saw coming. Unlike how other characters would react, Butters agrees with Stan and makes the insult even worse. Clearly oblivious to its real meaning, he refers to Cartman’s suggestion about working in a massage parlor. It’s one thing to get roasted by a friend, but something else entirely when you pile on with them.

What would you do to sustain peace in the Middle East? When a prank of Cartman’s inadvertently unites Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, Kyle is forced to endure whatever Eric wants of him all in the name of peace. So when Cartman asks him to insult Sheila to her face, poor Kyle has to face his worst fear. Not only does he already have issues standing up to his mother, but now he has to rag on her at Cartman’s whim. Kyle drops some pretty brutal descriptive language about his mother. It’s not just funny, but we can’t help but wonder if after everything she’s put him through, somehow Kyle actually enjoyed the rare moment.

If you were to pick the most random insult to say to your own kid, this line is the last thing anyone would have ever thought of. The whole thing comes from the fact that Stan has locked out all the “true crime” programming on television with a code his parents can’t figure out. Randy shows up at Stan’s door, begging him to give him the answers, all while trying to explain why these crime shows aren’t harmful. Only someone like Stan’s father could come up with the most ridiculous of insults, all in the name of wanting to watch documentary TV.

Butters roasts his grandmother in an episode called “Butterballs.” Is it just us, or does anyone else smell turkey? Either way, our beloved Stotch boy once again shows how he’s probably one of the most profound children in this town. After having been repeatedly assaulted, both physically and psychologically, by his grandmother, Butters finally gets his say. Thinking she’s asleep, Butters delivers a brutal but chillingly truthful takedown of his grandmother’s actions. As he describes how she’s eventually going to die angry at the world, Butters will still be there. It strikes fear into her eyes with nothing more than the real, unadulterated truth.

Take four nine-year-old kids with no real musical talent and throw them in a band. Unless you’ve got some prodigies in there, odds are you’re not going to hear Grammy-worthy music without some practice. Such was the case for Stan, Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman in their new band Moop. Like other kids their age, they just want to play and have fun. So when Randy hears all the racket, instead of trying to help or support their efforts, all they get is a sarcastic retort. Suggesting that the sounds of human torture were comparable to Moop’s music, however, might be going a little too far.

Eric has been using this catchphrase as a means of insulting anyone who crossed his path unfavorably. He said it to Garrison in the movie. He spouted it off to his impersonator when they tried to extort him for more money. He even tries the line on his new teacher, only to have her respond in a positive nature, shocking both him and the rest of the class. What makes this a great roast is how Cartman seems to find new and interesting ways to deliver it to those who have it coming.

Having won a contest, Cartman’s going to appear on TV along with Kathie Lee Gifford. Wanting to get in shape, he starts eating copious amounts of a bodybuilding supplement, triggering massive weight gain. Eric is of course proud of how bulky he’s become, but Kyle isn’t having any of it. While first referring to him as a “wide load,” it’s what follows next that’s the real burn. Inspired by a scene from the original “The Spirit of Christmas” short, Kyle insinuates that casual pedestrians would exclaim profanities at him for being so large. Not only is it funny, but it’s a great nod to the original.

Fun fact: George Clooney apparently sent out hundreds of copies of the original “South Park” short, “The Spirit of Christmas.” Not only did this short serve as the inspiration for our previous entry, but it also gave us another awesome burn at Cartman’s expense. Just as Stan is trying to deliver his speech about the true meaning of Christmas, Eric piles on and insists it’s all about ham. Without even blinking, Stan yells back at him reciting the exact same insult Kyle had used earlier. It’s yet another variation on a standing theme around Eric, but that doesn’t make it any less of a jab.

Have you ever been to a beach and returned home only to feel like you brought all of the sand back with you? Depending on where it sticks, you can find yourself itchy, scratching, or even outright irritated at it getting everywhere. This becomes a running gag throughout the “South Park” Season 5 premiere, as Cartman blames Kyle’s recent irritability on him having sand stuck, well… somewhere only a woman could have it trapped in. Each time Eric delivers the line, Kyle becomes even more infuriated spurring Cartman to come up with even better ways to make the roast cook!

In an otherwise middle-of-the-road episode, fans are treated to one of the best moments of the entire series. After being grounded for having illegal liposuction, Butters sneaks out with the boys while Cartman promises to impersonate him if his parents call. Inevitably they do, and Cartman, as Butters, delivers what are arguably the funniest impersonated lines of dialog ever spoken on the show. Butters’ dad gets a roaring insult about his sexuality and bodily functions, while he implies Linda enjoys the company of livestock. The crudeness of the insults is one thing, but when delivered as faux Butters, it brings the laughs to a whole new level.

It’s Halloween time in “South Park” and Kyle is arguing with Cartman about him having dressed up as Hitler. As the two exchange insults, Kyle makes a rather disparaging remark about Cartman’s mother being on the cover of an adult-themed publication. Kids poking fun at each other’s moms is nothing new, but Cartman is taken aback by the insult. If that had been it, the crack would have been funny enough, but the real punchline comes later. When the boys end up at the morgue, Kyle finds an adult magazine featuring Liane Cartman on the cover. Set, game, and match.

For a film that is barely over five minutes long, it certainly has its own share of quotable moments. Serving as the inspiration for our #6 entry, the original replaces much of the TV-friendly dialog for words we won’t repeat here. We get to see the first inklings of the ongoing feud between Cartman and Kyle. Using language unfit for an eight-year-old, Kyle claims passerbys would be shocked at how large Cartman is. It’s our number one not just because it’s funny, but because it was the first of so many roasts the show would come to be known for.