Top 20 Most Important Queer Romances from History

#20: Martha May Eliot & Ethel Collins Dunham

These two doctors changed the field of pediatrics at a time when women had to fight just to be allowed into medical school. They met as undergraduates in the early 1910s, where they began a romance that would last more than fifty years. After they finished their degrees, they became two of the first women to teach at the Yale School of Medicine. Dunham revolutionized healthcare for premature and newborn babies, while Eliot had important roles at the World Health Organization and the United Nations Children’s Fund. In 1957, Dunham became the first woman to receive the John Howland Award – the American Pediatric Society’s most prestigious honor. Eliot became the second woman to receive it ten years later.

#19: Anne Bonny & Mary Read

Their story is the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie we wish we’d gotten. They sailed the high seas in the early 1700s, pillaging, fighting, and killing with the best of them. They met in 1720, when the captain of Anne’s ship attacked Mary’s ship and kidnapped some of the crew. According to one contemporary writer who chronicled the exploits of pirates, Anne was into Mary from the start. He wrote that the two fell in love, and that Anne’s husband – himself a notorious pirate – even threatened to cut Mary’s throat out of jealousy. Anne and Mary were known to start brawls with anyone who insulted them, and a Boston newspaper even named Anne in its list of “most wanted” pirates.

#18: Khnumhotep & Niankhkhnum

Around 4,500 years ago, these two men worked together as high-ranking servants in the court of the Egyptian pharaoh. Today, they’re believed to be the first known gay couple in recorded history. They were buried together in an elaborate tomb, and all of the artwork depicts them in intimate embraces. Egyptian tombs were expensive and labor-intensive, so these men must have been important. The most striking painting in the tomb shows Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum with their arms wrapped around each other and their noses almost touching, a position reserved for married couples. The inscription over the entrance, which would have been chosen by the two men themselves, reads, “joined in life and joined in death.”

#17: Jane Addams & Ellen Gates Starr

These two radical progressives met at seminary in 1877, when both were in their late teens. In 1889, they cofounded the Hull House in Chicago, which provided services like childcare, education, and even healthcare to recently arrived immigrants. Xenophobia was widespread in the U.S. in the late 1800s, so the Hull House filled an important niche for these marginalized people. The charity expanded rapidly, and by 1920, there were 500 Hull Houses across the country. Addams and Starr lived together in the original house for a few years, but sadly, their romance wasn’t meant to last. Addams went on to have a 40-year relationship with Hull House volunteer Mary Rozet Smith, though she and Starr remained close friends.

#16: Nesta Obermer & Gluck

Obermer was an artist, playwright, world traveler, and adventurer. Gluck was a painter who rejected gender labels and whose exhibitions were attended by Queen Elizabeth herself. The pair met in 1936 and began an eight-year affair, despite Obermer being married to a man. They even exchanged rings and considered themselves to be spouses. After attending the opera “Don Giovanni” together, Gluck was inspired to paint a dual portrait named “Medallion,” which Gluck called the “YouWe” picture. The painting has since become an iconic piece of lesbian art. Though Gluck had passionate relationships with many women over the course of their long life, they considered Obermer to be their greatest love.

#15: James Baldwin & Lucien Happersberger

Some of Baldwin’s most important works might never have been completed if not for Swiss artist Lucien Happersberger. They met at a gay bar in Paris in 1949 and formed an instant connection. Happersberger’s family owned a chalet in a tiny village in the Swiss Alps, and Baldwin needed to escape the distractions of Paris to get some real work done. Living on Happersberger’s family money, they moved to the chalet, where Baldwin completed his first novel, “Go Tell It on the Mountain,” and one of his major essays, “Stranger in the Village.” Though they were together only a few years, Baldwin called Happersberger “the one true love story of my life,” and later dedicated the novel “Giovanni's Room” to him.

#14: Hadrian & Antinous

Relationships between older and younger men were pretty common in ancient Greece and Rome, but this one was special. We don’t know for sure when Antinous joined Emperor Hadrian’s court, but we do know that Hadrian was smitten. He kept Antinous by his side constantly as they traveled all over the Roman Empire, west Asia, and north Africa. But in the year 130 A.D., tragedy struck. While sailing on the Nile, Antinous mysteriously drowned. Hadrian was devastated. He wept openly over the loss, though his critics mocked him for it. He had Antinous deified as a god, named a star after him, and had a city built on the site of his death. Tell your partner about that next time they forget your birthday.

#13: James Buchanan & William R. King

Do we know for sure that the 15th president of the United States was gay? No. But many of his contemporaries certainly thought he was. Buchanan and King lived together for 16 years and neither ever married. Gossipers called them “Miss Nancy” and “Aunt Fancy,” but Buchanan spoke about King in a different way. They attended social events together, and many observers remarked that they were inseparable. When King was away on political business, a lonely Buchanan wrote a very telling letter to a female friend. King was elected as Franklin Pierce’s vice president in 1852, but only served 45 days before dying of tuberculosis at age 67.

#12: Michelangelo & Tommaso dei Cavalieri

This gorgeous young aristocrat caught Michelangelo’s eye in 1532. Cavalieri was refined and educated, and the artist couldn’t resist striking up a correspondence, despite being 35 years older. The two bonded over their shared love of art, and Michelangelo gifted Cavalieri four drawings which he created just for him. He also dedicated 30 poems to the younger man, writing in one, “Love takes me captive; beauty binds my soul.” The feelings were apparently mutual. Cavalieri wrote to Michelangelo, “I swear to return your love. Never have I loved a man more than I love you.” Although Cavalieri’s social position required him to marry a woman, he and Michelangelo remained close, and he returned to be at the artist’s bedside when he passed away in 1564.

#11: Tennessee Williams & Frank Merlo

The writer of “A Streetcar Named Desire” had his happiest and most productive years during his relationship with a Sicilian actor named Frank Merlo. In fact, it was the defining romance of Tennessee Williams’ life. The bond between them brought a rare sense of stability to the famously troubled playwright. For 14 years, as Williams battled depression and inner turmoil, Merlo kept their domestic world running. While they were together, Williams created some of his most successful plays, including “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” and “Sweet Bird of Youth.” Shortly after they broke up, Merlo was diagnosed with lung cancer, and Williams rushed back to his side. He cared for Merlo until his passing in 1963.

#10: Max de Morny & Colette

The Marquis de Morny was assigned female at birth, but as an adult he took the name Max, went by “Monsieur,” and dressed in men’s clothing. Colette was a talented novelist married to an older man who published her books under his own name, kept all the profits, and reportedly locked her in her room to force her to write. After separating from him, she moved in with Max in 1906. Colette continued to write and the two performed in the theater together. Because Max was an aristocrat, his birth gender was no secret, and when he and Colette shared an on-stage kiss, it sparked a riot that got the police involved. After that, they were forced to keep their relationship a secret.

#9: Marcela Gracia Ibeas & Elisa Sanchez Loriga

More than a century before same-sex marriage was legalized in Spain, these two beat the system. They met at a teachers’ college, and in 1901, Elisa began dressing as a man and posing as her dead cousin Mario, even getting baptized under that name. This enabled the couple to be legally married in the church. Unfortunately, the secret soon came out. It even made front-page news in Galicia under the headline, “A Marriage Without a Man.” Marcela and Elisa were forced to flee to Argentina, but their marriage was never annulled. It’s still on the books today as Spain’s first gay marriage. The U.S., of course, has Jim Obergefell and John Arthur to thank for the landmark Supreme Court case that legalized marriage equality.

#8: Harmodius & Aristogeiton

How many couples can say they assassinated a tyrant together? Harmodius and Aristogeiton lived in Athens in the 6th century BC. The ruler Hipparchus had seized power outside the state’s constitutional law. He also propositioned Harmodius – who rejected him, obviously – then publicly humiliated Harmodius’s sister in revenge. This could not stand. Harmodius and Aristogeiton plotted to kill Hipparchus during Athens’ version of the Olympics. They succeeded, stabbing him to death right in front of the Acropolis. In the frenzy, Harmodius was killed by one of Hipparchus' guards, and Aristogeiton was arrested and also later killed. But the two were celebrated as national heroes and became known as the Tyrannicides.

#7: Lili Elbe & Gerda Wegener

They met at a young age at art school in Copenhagen, when Elbe, who was assigned male at birth, was still living as a man. They married in 1904, and sometime in the 1910s, Elbe began modeling for Wegener’s paintings in women’s clothing. Later, she took the name Lili and started living full-time as a woman. In 1930, Elbe traveled to the Hirschfeld Institute for Sexual Science in Germany to undergo several gender confirmation surgeries. She legally changed her name and even got a passport indicating she was female. Unfortunately, this caused the Danish government to annul their marriage, since same-sex unions were illegal. Elbe passed away in 1931 due to complications from surgery. Their story was portrayed in the 2015 film “The Danish Girl.”

#6: Frida Kahlo & Josephine Baker

The iconic Mexican artist was known to have love affairs with both men and women – including some of her husband’s girlfriends. Photographer Tina Modotti may have been one of them, at least according to the 2002 film “Frida.” But Kahlo found a kindred spirit in singer, dancer, and actress Josephine Baker. Kahlo traveled to Paris for an exhibition in 1939. Baker had already been living there for fourteen years, and like Kahlo, she’d had plenty of affairs with people of different genders. Though there’s no definitive proof they had a relationship, there were plenty of rumors, plus at least one photo of them together. Baker also visited Kahlo in Mexico City in 1952 – a long way to travel just to see a pen pal.

#5: Harriet E. Giles & Sophia B. Packard

Did you know that the historically Black Spelman College was founded by two lesbians from Massachusetts? Giles and Packard met at New Salem Academy around 1855, and they immediately bonded for life. After about twenty years teaching in New England, the two women traveled to Atlanta with only $100 to open a school for Black women. Eventually they managed to drum up support from John D. Rockefeller and his wife Laura Spelman, hence the college’s name. Giles and Packard ran the school until their deaths, and they’re now buried together in their home state. Crazily enough, they’re not the only New England lesbians who founded a school for Black students. Caroline Putnam started the Holley School in 1868, named for her partner, Sallie Holley.

#4: Queen Christina of Sweden & Countess Ebba Sparre

This queen was so determined not to marry a man that she gave up her throne instead. Christina was technically crowned “King” at her 1633 coronation. Ebba Sparre was a noblewoman and the most beautiful lady-in-waiting at Christina’s court – and the queen took notice. The two were close: Christina introduced Ebba to one diplomat as her “bed-fellow” and admitted to another that they were in love. But as a monarch, Christina was expected to marry and produce an heir. That wasn’t happening. Her popularity declining, Christina gave up her rule to her male cousin in 1654. She disguised herself in men’s clothes and fled to the Netherlands. She and Ebba wrote to each other often, but Ebba became ill and passed away in 1662.

#3: Virginia Woolf & Vita Sackville-West

They were two of the most important English writers in the early twentieth century, and they produced some of their greatest works during their ten years together. Sackville-West’s love helped Woolf heal from her traumatic childhood, and Woolf confided that it was the first satisfying sexual relationship she’d ever had. She even based the protagonist of her famous novel “Orlando: A Biography” on Vita. But Woolf was bothered by Sackville-West’s libertine attitude toward sex and relationships, and eventually the couple split. However, they remained devoted friends and kept in close touch until Woolf’s death a few years later, in 1941.

#2: Oscar Wilde & Lord Alfred Douglas

Their torrid relationship might have had a chance if they’d lived a century later. They met in 1891, when Douglas was a college student and Wilde was already a famous playwright. Wilde didn’t try very hard to hide his sexuality, but Douglas was even more brash. Their recklessness became Wilde’s undoing. Douglas’s father, the Marquess of Queensberry, was furious with Wilde for galavanting about publicly with his son. He accused Wilde of homosexuality, which was illegal at the time, prompting Wilde to foolishly sue him for libel. When the defense presented several young men willing to testify to having affairs with Wilde, the playwright was forced to drop his case and pay Queensberry’s legal fees, which bankrupted him. Wilde was imprisoned later that year.

#1: Alexander the Great & Hephaestion

This emperor and his general were so devoted to each other that when Hephaestion died unexpectedly, it might have actually killed Alexander. The pair grew up together and remained inseparable throughout their lives. Alexander’s tutor Aristotle even called them "one soul abiding two bodies." In 324 B.C., Hephaestion suddenly became ill and died, and Alexander lost his mind. He had to be dragged away from Hephaestion’s body, and for two days he didn’t eat or speak – he only lay on the ground weeping. He had Hephaestion’s doctor hanged, arranged a funeral that cost around $200 million in today’s money, and declared Hephaestion a divine hero. From that point on, Alexander’s health declined, and he died of unknown causes just eight months later.

Which of these queer love stories hits you the hardest? Let us know in the comments below.