Top 20 Junk Food and Drink FAILS
#20: Pringles Restaurant Cravers - Mozzarella Sticks & Marinara
We love a good serving of mozzarella sticks and marinara sauce as much as the next person, but did we really need them in the form of a potato chip? Pringles certainly thought so. The chip brand once launched a line of flavors dubbed “Restaurant Cravers”, focusing on classic entrees and appetizers like Onion Blossom and Mexican Layered Dip. Unfortunately, Mozzarella Sticks & Marinara doesn’t translate nearly as well to chip form. The issue? The joy of mozzarella sticks is rooted in texture. Why disrespect the cheesy gooey nature of this timeless appetizer by turning it into a powder-coated chip? That’s just blasphemy!
#19: Pepsi AM
When it comes to revolutionizing the concept of the morning beverage, there have been more than a few spectacularly bad ideas. Lots of people struggle to face the day without a morning dose of caffeine. Hoping to cash in on this demand, and maybe even convert some coffee drinkers, Pepsi unveiled Pepsi AM in 1989. To be clear… this wasn’t some revolutionary new type of beverage. It was good old-fashioned Pepsi cola with the caffeine level jacked way up. If your stomach is churning at the thought of starting your day with soda… you’re not alone. It was discontinued just one year later.
#18:Lay’s WOW Chips
It’s amazing how far some companies will go just so they can plaster their food with healthy phrases like “sugar-free” or “zero calories”. Unfortunately, changing a tried and true recipe is risky business, as Frito-Lay learned the hard way with their “WOW! Chips” lineup. In 1998, Frito-Lay made special bags of Lays, Doritos, and Ruffles that were fat-free, but this supposed benefit came at an immense cost. Since the chips were made with Olestra instead of regular cooking oil, customers not only digested fewer calories than regular Lays, but also began suffering from stomach cramps and diarrhea. Around 2004, Frito-Lay renamed the lineup as “Light” with a slightly new formula.
#17: Hubba Bubba Bubble Jug
The Hubba Bubba brand has certainly put out some strange products beyond their standard gum. Some have really resonated with consumers, like Bubble Tape, but the Hubba Bubba Bubble Jug… not so much. These miniature containers housed a powder that would turn into gum when chewed. In other words, it was kinda like a Frankenstein Pixy Stix. What makes the product offputting is that you’re basically chewing pure sugar to the point where it becomes a homogenous chewy substance. And while the gum that you wind up with is basically the same old Hubba Bubba, that initial mouthful of chunky powder is a serious turnoff.
#16: Budweiser Extra
Can’t we just keep it to one vice at a time? In the early 2000s, when energy drinks were all the rage, the quote unquote “King of Beers” decided to jump on the bandwagon by pumping a variation of their ever-popular beer full of caffeine. Boasting 6.6% alcohol and a hearty dose of caffeine, the beverage was certainly sending your body mixed messages. Leaving aside the fact that numerous studies have proven caffeinated alcoholic beverages to be incredibly dangerous… this brew was just downright disgusting. Oh, they also liked to refer to it as “Budweiser B-to-the-E” like someone’s deeply uncool uncle. You know… just to make you cringe twice as hard while drinking it.
#15: Kid Cuisine
Don’t get us wrong - we can enjoy a frozen TV dinner every now and again, but Kid Cuisine has always been a guessing game when it comes to meals. As if the serving size isn’t enough to give you buyer’s remorse, a common problem with the meals was the fact that the food so often ended up leaving their designated areas. Show of hands: how often did you find part of your melted brownie mixed with your corn or macaroni and cheese? The commercials may have shown steamy, sizeable meals, but what we actually got were poorly packaged products that were often ruined before we got to the microwave.
#14: Tru Blood
For starters… can you say “false advertising?” This carbonated beverage is not, in fact, blood - human or otherwise. It is, however, a tie-in to the hit HBO series “True Blood,” and the blood beverage that the vamps in the show consume to quench their insatiable thirst. For diehard fans of the series, this remarkably accurate-looking replica is sure to get their hearts pounding. Unfortunately, the marketing department decided to treat this beverage as more of a collector’s item than a viable product, slapping on a hefty price tag that scared away many would-be faux-vampires. Oh, and did we mention that most bloodsuckers in the show couldn’t stand the stuff? Not exactly a great endorsement.
#13: Tayto Milk Chocolate Bars
How do you like your chocolate bars? Do you like them loaded with peanuts or crispy rice? Drizzled in caramel? Coating cookie bits? Well then, Tayto Milk Chocolate Bars are NOT the decadent sweet you’ve been searching for. While most chocolate companies offer a variety of products in which chocolate is combined with peanut butter, wafers, or other candy, Tayto chooses to load its chocolate bars with its own cheese and onion crisps. We’re no stranger to sweet and savory treats (like Ben & Jerry’s Late Night Snack ice cream), but chocolate with chips that taste like cheese and onions? Count us out.
#12: Maxwell Ready-to-Drink Coffee
Introducing a beverage that NOBODY needed. Making coffee is simple. Add hot water to ground coffee beans in a filter, and voila. Alternatively… stop at a drive-thru on your way to work. If you’re really pressed for time and don’t care about quality or taste whatsoever, instant coffee can be made, well… instantly. With these options available, taking coffee and putting it in a cardboard carton, to then be poured out into mugs and reheated in the microwave had no justifiable reason to exist. In the end, it wasn’t quicker or more convenient, and it certainly didn’t deliver a superior taste to a fresh brewed pot.
#11: Jimmy Dean Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick
We all have our own way to start the day; some do it with a hearty helping of bacon, eggs, and French toast, somes a simple cup of coffee and others something in between. But have you ever wished your sausage was wrapped in a big, fluffy pancake? No? Well, Jimmy Dean went ahead and fulfilled that dream anyways with their Pancake & Sausage on a Stick lineup. We don't have as much of a problem with the concept as we do with some of the flavors it carries. French Toast is okay, but Blueberry seems like a bit much. As for Chocolate? Hashtag keep those sweets away from our meats!
#10: Vio
It was only a matter of time before the leading soft drink manufacturer made an appearance. Vio is a flavored, carbonated milk beverage, which the Coca-Cola company introduced to American markets in 2009. To the shock of nobody who wasn’t working for Coca-Cola, it was deemed a failure and soon pulled from production. In their defense, such beverages do succeed elsewhere in the world - in Japan, they’re actually quite common. This is simply a case of trying to push a market way outside of its comfort zone. That being said, an updated Vio has since been introduced in India in 2016, where the product has seemingly fared better.
#9: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pies
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have had their faces slapped on a wealth of food products over the years. From cereal to cookies (and even Chef Boyardee), marketing efforts seem to suggest that the iconic turtles are fond of more than just pizza. However, not every TMNT-endorsed product is created equal, with one of the worst offenders being Hostess’ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pies. While the vanilla pudding filling is enough to sell any kid, one look at the pie outside of the packaging will make you question what exactly you’re putting in your mouth. They just couldn’t make them turtle shaped cupcakes, huh?
#8: Coca-Cola BlāK
How do you connect with trendy young adults? How about making a mysterious “black edition” of your cola? Sure, that’s great and all, but if you REALLY wanna get the people talking, you better drop a letter… and randomly capitalize the K! Silly branding aside, Coca Cola BlāK just didn’t work. Why? Because its whole gimmick was that it was coffee-flavored. Consider it Coca-Cola’s own attempt to capture the coffee drinking market. They gave it a sophisticated-looking bottle that screamed “flavored coffee” and hoped to connect with the masses. Connect… they did not. It earned a few devotees, but mostly people preferred to keep their coffee and cola separate. It only lasted 2 years.
#7: The Thanksgiving Dinner Holiday Pack
Jones Soda have managed to co-exist with the heavyweights by carving out a niche for themselves with their unique photography-based bottle designs and willingness to embrace odd flavors. Yes, they offer up standards like Root Beer and Cream Soda, but they also do unusual flavors like Peanut Butter and Jelly, Chocolate, and FuFu Berry. It’s the specialty and holiday releases where things get really odd. The 2007 Gingerbread Man flavor? That we can get behind. This Thanksgiving sampler... not so much. The 2005 “National Pack” comes with the following flavors: Turkey & Gravy, Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto, Cranberry, Wild Herb Stuffing, and Pumpkin Pie. The 2006 variety added an “antacid” flavor! Yikes. Not exactly refreshing.
#6: Ghostbusters Key Lime Slime Twinkies
The company behind Twinkies has gone through some bizarre flavors over the past few decades, especially when it comes to cross-promotional products. We can tolerate flavors like Orange Creme Pop, Peppermint, or even Pumpkin Spice, but there was something about their Ghostbusters Twinkies that really threw us off. In addition to a White Fudge Marshmallow flavor, Hostess put out Key Lime Slime Twinkies as a promotional deal for the 2016 “Ghostbusters” reboot. We suppose the Key Lime flavor fits with Twinkies’ cake-y nature, but something about that green filling made these snacks seriously unappealing - and oddly familiar. It just looks wrong!
#5: Orbitz
Generally speaking… feeling a solid object hit your lips while you’re drinking is cause for alarm. Is it a bug? Did someone mistake your beer for an empty and put their cigarette butt in there? With Orbitz, there was no mistake… apart from it generally being a bad idea. Produced by The Clearly Food & Beverage Company of Canada, this unique non-carbonated, non-alcoholic drink was advertised as a "texturally enhanced alternative beverage." Released in 1997 and disappearing soon after because apparently people don’t like to find jelly balls in their drink, it remains a novel, albeit misguided footnote in the history of beverages.
#4: Ranch Dressing Soda
Like Jones, Lester’s Fixins is known for taking soda pop to strange (and often exciting) new places. This soda is without a doubt meant as a novelty, but it makes you stop and wonder… how far is too far? Some of their concoctions are bizarre, but nonetheless inspire a desire to give them a try - take bacon, PB&J, and pumpkin pie. Ranch flavor on the other hand? The mere thought of it makes your stomach do somersaults. Based on their advertising, “weird” is clearly the angle they’re going for. With this particular flavor… we wish they hadn’t been so successful in achieving that goal. The smell is apparently repulsive, and the flavor has been described as at best unremarkable.
#3: EZ Squirt Ketchup
Most people agree that ketchup is already perfect in its own right. Whether you're using it for your fries, burgers, or a massive plate of crispy tater tots, ketchup arguably makes everything taste better! But what happens when you decide to mess with an already-winning formula? You wind up with the sort of failed product line that Heinz had on their hands with the EZ Squirt Ketchup in the early 2000s. For a limited time, kids could drizzle a rainbow of ketchup on their food. Unfortunately, the color just made the food look less appetizing (to adults, at least). Yeah, it was still ketchup, but its appearance did not sit well with customers.
#2: Shrek Twinkies
We knew something felt off about those Ghostbusters Twinkies, and this was the reason! In 2001, dozens of food companies had their own cross-promotional deal to make disgusting “Shrek”-themed products, but of them all, Shrek Twinkies were arguably the worst. For starters, the green filling was unsettling, and it didn’t help that the front of the box proudly advertised “Ogre Green Creamy Filling”. If you were one of the poor, unfortunate souls who bought a package, you probably realized your mistake after opening one of these foul sweets and discovered the Twinkie looked worse than what was on the box. And to think they brought it back to promote “Shrek 2”...
#1: Cocaine
This drink promised serious levels of energy and wasn’t afraid to invoke highly addictive illicit drugs to make that clear. The can even featured a font that looked like bumpy lines of white powder. The marketing was so problematic, the FDA actually had it banned on the grounds that Redux Beverages "was illegally marketing the drink as both a street drug alternative and a dietary supplement." They compromised, and rebranded it as “No Name,” before eventually reverting back to the original name. Branding aside, this drink is also a bad idea for consumers. The caffeine and taurine levels are drastically higher than the competition, so much so that doctors have publicly warned against drinking it.