Top 20 Disappointing Movies of the Century So Far
#20: “Quantum of Solace” (2008)
After the Pierce Brosnan era ended on such a humiliating note, the James Bond franchise came roaring back to life with “Casino Royale.” With a grittier tone and Daniel Craig’s darker portrayal, we were ready for a new golden age of 007. While “Quantum of Solace” is by no means the worst Bond movie, it was a significant step backward, coming off such a game-changer. Where “Casino Royale” took chances around every corner, this sequel played it safe with nonstop action, a forgettable plot, and little insight into the man behind the spy. Thankfully, “Skyfall” got Bond back on track, although the series hit another rough patch with the mixed bag that was “Spectre.” Huh, we’re noticing a “Star Trek”-like pattern with these movies...
#19: “The Mummy” (2017)
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While not many people were pleading with Universal to develop a Dark Universe, the idea of seeing all the classic monsters join forces definitely showed promise. In what’s gotta be a record, “The Mummy” killed this cinematic universe right out of the sarcophagus. Actually, this wasn’t even Universal’s first attempt at a shared universe of monsters, as “Dracula Untold” was originally seen as a potential launching point. The fact that Universal dropped the ball twice made “The Mummy” all the more infuriating. This movie started world-building without even deciding what it wanted to be. Combining elements of “The Avengers,” “Mission: Impossible,” and the Brendan Fraser “Mummy” movies, Universal turned in a muddled mess that tried pleasing everybody, but satisfied nobody.
#18: “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” (2003)
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“The LXG” brings together some of literature’s most famous figures, from Tom Sawyer, to Captain Nemo, to Henry Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. At the forefront is the OG James Bond, Sean Connery, as Allan Quatermain. Throw in the director of “Blade” and you have… a snoozefest? Given the colorful cast of characters, not to mention the inventive source material by Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill, this movie should’ve had no trouble living up to its title. There’s nothing extraordinary about this steampunk adventure, however. That is unless we’re talking about how extraordinarily dull it is. We’re not saying that this movie killed any careers, although Stephen Norrington hasn’t directed anything since and Connery did retire right after. So… yeah, this was kind of a career-killer….
#17: “Jurassic Park III” (2001)
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“Jurassic Park” was the highest-grossing movies upon release and even decades later, it’s still what many of us associate with the term “blockbuster.” While “The Lost World” wasn’t on the same level as its predecessor, it at least understood that a “Jurassic Park” movie is supposed to feel epic. None of that gravitas is on display in “Jurassic Park III.” Everything, from the uninspired title to the inexplicably brief runtime, comes off as phoned in. The special effects aren’t especially special, the plot feels like it was recycled from a b-movie, and the dinosaurs lack the dread that they once filled us with. That’s what happens when you trade in a Tyrannosaurus rex for a Spinosaurus. Seriously, are you trying to be a downgrade?
#16: “The Hangover Part II” (2011)
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We’ll admit that “The Hangover” isn’t the easiest movie to make a sequel to. The 2009 hit told a self-contained story about three guys trying to piece together their wild night of drunken escapades. Aside from where the chicken came from, everything is resolved by the end. So, what can you do beyond that? Apparently nothing because “The Hangover Part II” was the exact same movie, save a change of scenery and substituting a monkey for the chicken. It literally feels like they copied and pasted the first movie’s script, changed a couple of words, and called it a day. On top of being unbelievably lazy, this sequel is bizarrely mean-spirited with one character losing a finger. Who wrote this thing, Arthur Fleck?
#15: “Lady in the Water” (2006)
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It may sound strange now, but there was a time when M. Night Shyamalan was hailed as the new master of horror. While the endings to “Signs” and “The Village” were polarizing, audiences still got excited whenever they heard the name “Shyamalan.” Alas, “Lady in the Water” is where Shyamalan officially went off the deep end, forever changing the public’s perception of him. The film was apparently inspired by a bedtime story Shyamalan cooked up for his kids, but the script reads more like something you’d jot down on a bar napkin after having one too many. This is the very definition of a vanity project, right down to Shyamalan himself playing a savior of sorts and a cynical film critic getting his comeuppance. Subtle!
#14: “Eragon” (2006)
This adaptation of Christopher Paolini’s fantasy novel came out following Peter Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy and the first few “Harry Potter” movies. It really shows in the end product, which feels like a half-hearted attempt to cash-in on the swords and sorcerers trend. There’s nothing remotely unique about the film, from the stock characters, to the generic setting, to the formulaic plot. Some critics may argue that the source material suffered from similar issues, but one thing that Paolini’s book got down that this movie didn’t was the bond between Eragon and his dragon Saphira. That’s what gave the story a beating heart, but their relationship is far too rushed and exposition-heavy here. Thus, this planned film franchise immediately went up in smoke.
#13: “Fantastic Beasts: The Crime of Grindelwald” (2018)
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The first “Fantastic Beasts” was a promising start to a new chapter in the Wizarding World. Alas, “The Crimes of Grindelwald” sucked out much of the wonder and whimsy that made people fall in love with J.K. Rowling’s original creation. Rowling’s screenplay needlessly shoehorned in characters from the books without doing anything interesting with them. This took away from screen time that could’ve been used to develop Newt, Tina, and other principal characters. The story somehow managed to be both convoluted and uneventful, making “Crimes of Grindelwald” feel like a minor stepping stone in a franchise that fans aren’t even sure they want anymore. Plus, there were barely any fantastic beasts this time around!
#12: “The Dark Tower” (2017)
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If the past decade proved anything, it’s that the works of Stephen King are still ripe for Hollywood. Since “The Dark Tower” series is largely seen as his crowning achievement, it seemed a good idea to bring the Gunslinger and Man in Black to the silver screen. Rather than focusing on the page-turning rivalry between those two, however, the film saw little Jake Chambers take center stage. The results thus felt less like “The Dark Tower” and more like a last-ditch effort to cash in on the dwindling young adult movie craze. The film wasn’t even a direct adaptation of King’s books, instead delivering a bland continuation that confused newcomers, enraged fans, and completely missed the point of its source material.
#11: “Zoolander 2” (2016)
This long-awaited sequel immediately got off on the wrong foot, revealing that Derek’s wife is dead, his son got taken away, and his “Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good...” has been destroyed. Because that’s what we wanted to see happen to Derek after fifteen years! But hey, the plot doesn’t really matter in a “Zoolander” movie. “Zoolander 2’s” biggest crime is that it’s virtually devoid of anything resembling comedy. Whereas the first film was stupid yet clever, this follow-up wound up being just plain dumb and even lazy. Not only were the celebrity cameos totally wasted, but a majority of the gags were recycled. Didn’t anyone working on the film notice this? It feels like we’re taking crazy pills!
#10: “Prometheus” (2012)
With Ridley Scott returning to the director’s chair, fans were ready for “Prometheus” to breathe new life into the “Alien” franchise. This prequel admittedly wasn’t without some stunning visuals, intriguing ideas, and compelling performances, particularly from Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender. Instead of delving deeper into this universe’s mythology, though, the film just asked a ton of questions with few answers. Did we mention the co-creator of “Lost” co-wrote this? We’re not saying that this movie needed to explain everything, but the mysteries laid out here aren’t especially gripping and – in the end – we don’t really care what it all meant. While not the franchise’s darkest hour, “Prometheus” was nonetheless a snooze-fest and the last thing we should be in an “Alien” movie is bored.
#9: “Terminator” sequels, reboots, & sequel-boots (2003-19)
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If we had to single out one franchise that has let us down the most this past decade, it would have to be “The Terminator.” Coming off two near-perfect movies, “Rise of the Machines” was just a little too awkward and goofy. “Salvation” had the opposite problem, tearing out the franchise’s soul in favor of grainy action. “Genisys” attempted to wipe the slate clean, but it somehow left the slate even messier than before. “Dark Fate” was essentially an apology for the past three films and while it tried much harder to please longtime fans, it was still too little, too late. The happily ever after alternate ending to “Terminator 2” might’ve been corny, but we’d gladly take it over four disappointing sequels… and counting?
#8: “Green Lantern” (2011)
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Deadpool isn’t the only one who would love to expunge this movie from Ryan Reynolds’ résumé. For decades, Green Lantern was one of the most beloved and respected heroes in the DC pantheon. After this lackluster adaptation landed, though, Green Lantern started to become the butt of the joke and it’s going to take an incredible reboot to restore his former glory. Until then, we’re stuck with an uninspired origin story that falls back on every overused superhero trope and packs in so much CGI that it could be mistaken for a cartoon. We’re just glad that Reynolds went on to make much better superhero movies and so did his co-star, Taika Waititi. Yeah, you forgot he was in this too, didn’t you?
#7: “The Hobbit” franchise (2012-14)
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Given the success of Peter Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, it was only a matter of time until “The Hobbit” hit theaters. Fans were given cause for concern when news broke that this relatively short children’s book was being turned into a two-movie epic, which inevitably became a three-movie epic. Although “The Hobbit” trilogy had a theatrical runtime of almost 8 hours, we didn’t get to know anybody very well. The dwarfs were mostly glorified extras, the new characters contributed little, and even Bilbo got lost in the shuffle. If you edited the trilogy’s best bits into a single film, we’d have a worthy successor to “Lord of the Rings.” As is, though, getting through this a drawn-out journey could feel like a chore.
#6: “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” (2008)
Between George Lucas’ “Star Wars” prequels and Steven Spielberg giving E.T. an unnecessary CGI makeover, the writing was truly on the wall for this fourth “Indiana Jones” crusade. Nevertheless, we all went into the theater wearing optimistic smiles, but left with our faces melted. We’re all familiar with the laundry list of criticisms for this movie: the inconceivable presence of aliens, the overreliance on CGI, the complete disregard for the laws of refrigerator physics, Shia LaBeouf playing Shia LaBeouf playing Indy’s son, etc. What’s worse, the film was coming off a universally beloved trilogy that many felt ended on just the right note almost two decades earlier. Whatever adventures lie on the horizon for Dr. Jones, it’s hard to imagine a bigger letdown than this.
#5: “The Last Airbender” (2010)
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On one hand, anybody who was looking forward to “The Last Airbender” should’ve known that they were setting themselves up for disappointment. As wonderful as the animated series is, you can’t condense an entire season’s worth of storylines into a feature film and expect the same results. On the other hand, it was a live-action version of “Avatar!” At the bare minimum, this adaptation should’ve offered some inventive action sequences, inspired casting choices, and fun recreations of beloved scenes. With M. Night Shyamalan helming the project, however, the action was sluggish, the casting was mystifying, and the best moments from the show were robbed of their humanity. Whatever the in-development live-action Netflix series has in store for us, at least nothing will ever be worse than this.
#4: “X-Men: The Last Stand” (2006)
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Sure, “X-Men Origins” was more insulting, but we were prepared for the worst by that point. “The Last Stand,” on the other hand, was the follow-up to two of the century’s most influential superhero movies. This third installment is far more bombastic than its predecessors, which would be alright if it had strong character development and a focused narrative to back it up. Unfortunately, the film packs in far too many characters, some of which primarily exist just to be unceremoniously axed off, and the story is all over the place. What should’ve been an epic conclusion to the initial trilogy instead ended with a face-palm. After such a colossal disappointment, at least Hollywood would never make the same mistakes in another superhero movie… right?
#3: “Spider-Man 3” (2007)
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It’s funny/infuriating how Sam Raimi’s “Spider-Man” trilogy followed the same trajectory as the “X-Men” trilogy. The first two set a new standard for superhero movies and their impact is still felt today. The scars that the third movie left behind remain intact as well. Like many other modern blockbusters, “Spider-Man 3” was so focused on fan service that it never stopped to consider what fans truly want: a coherent story. The film shoehorned in a plethora of villains, supporting players, and ideas that could never be fleshed out in just one movie. While the “Spider-Man” franchise would live on, this film demolished our faith in Sony, as well as our interest in this particular continuity. And all it took was one emo haircut.
#2: “The Matrix Revolutions” (2003)
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While “The Matrix Reloaded” had its issues, we were willing to let those shortcomings slide as long as “Revolutions” provided a landing. This grand finale didn’t just fly too close to the sun, however. It flew directly into the sun and caused the lights to go out, submerging the franchise into nearly two decades of perpetual darkness. Perhaps the most disappointing aspect of this “Matrix” sequel is that it doesn’t delve much deeper into the actual Matrix. Instead, we get to watch Neo hanging out at a subway, people standing around talking, and a climax that rips off everything from “Aliens” to “Dragon Ball Z.” It all builds to a hokey storybook ending, complete with a rainbow, that needs to be retconned in “Matrix 4.” Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions. “Vanilla Sky” (2001) “Southland Tales” (2006) “Tomorrowland” (2015) “Independence Day: Resurgence” (2016) “Warcraft” (2016) “Catwoman” (2004)
#1: “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” (2016)
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You could argue that “Suicide Squad” was the lesser film, but the DCEU’s avalanche of disappointment started with this train wreck. How do you screw up a live-action movie that finally unites Batman and Superman on the big screen? For that matter, how do you botch a movie that borrows from “The Dark Knight Returns” and “The Death of Superman?” Well, you remove all the color, cram in a dozen other DC characters, cast Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor, and hire the guy who directed “Sucker Punch” to tie it all together, that’s how! “Batman v Superman” was such a colossal letdown that our hopes for “Justice League” were crushed. And we’re just going to say it, the Snyder Cut wouldn’t have magically fixed everything!
