Top 10 Worst Songs to Top the Billboard Top 100 Chart


So, what are the odds of a white Canadian reggae rapper hitting number one on the Billboard Top 100 for seven consecutive weeks? Well, fairly good, apparently, at least if you're looking back to "Informer," the 1992 hit from Toronto, Ontario's own Snow. In the chart's defense... the early 90s were a strange time. How else could one explain how this slice of cringe-worthy reggae fusion could've been so popular? The song fronts with a certain attitude and aggression, but for modern day enjoyment factor, Jim Carrey's "Imposter" parody from his days on "In Living Color" has far more to offer.    



#9: "Bad Day" (2005) Daniel Powter

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  Is there anything inherently offensive about Daniel Powter's 2005 hit, "Bad Day"? Well, not really, but it's the song's relentless blandness that makes us question the chart's validity. Specifically, it's how "Bad Day" seems to have been tailor made to be used in advertising that makes it so forgettable and vanilla. In fact, it appeared in a French Coca-Cola ad months before it was released, and it has carried on its commercial legacy in the years since. All in all it's a telling sign that "Bad Day" is the sort of faceless pop music which is better served as background noise than as as an actual song.      


What would it take to end racism and bring peace and healing across the racial divide? Not this. It's true that people of all races, color, and creed were united in disinterest, and a mild gagging feeling, from the saccharine melody and chintzy keyboard lines, but “Ebony and Ivory”'s naive attempt to single-highhandedly improve race relations around the world had limited effect. While the song was well intended, it was swinging well above its weight and attempting to accomplish something well out of its scope, something self-imposed race ambassadors Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder should have been all to aware of.     

#7: "London Bridge" (2006) Fergie

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  We'll admit that there are a number of things right with Fergie's debut single. For starters, that sample from Tower of Power's "Down to the Nightclub" is undeniably funky, and Fergie is as sexy and in control as she ever was in the song's accompanying. But the problem here is repetition. That little snippet of horns gets old really quickly, and Fergie's flow just doesn't sell the song, especially when it gets to that corny chorus. It might have topped the charts, but in retrospect “London Bridge” isn't much of a statement to open a solo career with.     

#6: "I'm Too Sexy" (1991) Right Said Fred

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  Unlike other countries, UK listeners actually stood their ground and didn't allow Right Said Fred's signature song hit number one. However, America did, and so here we are.  With its ridiculously simple lyrics, easy to grasp melody, and its borrowing of a Jimi Hendrix riff, “I'm Too Sexy” is definitely an ear worm, and a fun, harmless novelty song. But a Billboard Top 100 chart topper? Not so much. Its silly and beyond lightweight, and the band's lack of a compatibly successful follow up is proof that while the chart makes from time to time, it also corrects them.           

  
Looking back, the nu-metal movement is hard to explain, and impossible to rationalize. Through the haze of nostalgia, it was a climate where apparently anyone with bad tattoos and a worse attitude could achieve major label success and score a number one single. Case in point? Crazy Town and their pseudo-ballad "Butterfly".  There's nothing particularly heavy or metal about this track, and the band let loose with some bad metaphors about love, sex and....Sid and Nancy!? The only worthwhile aspect of this track is the Red Hot Chili Peppers sample it’s built on, so why not stick to their "Pretty Little Ditty" jam instead.  

#4: "You're Sixteen" (1973)
 Ringo Starr

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The title may seem inappropriate, and it is, but this cover of Johnny Burnette's "You're Sixteen" was nevertheless a number one hit for ex-Beatle Ringo Starr back in 1974. The song itself is some form of an ode to young love. The compliments end there, however, as Starr's cover just hasn't aged well, coming across as a hokey and middling pop tune in addition to the obvious problematic nature of the lyrics. Sure, there's Sir Paul McCartney singing a kazoo-esque vocal solo somewhere there in the middle, but when that's the most interesting aspect of a number one single, perhaps the charts deserve something with a bit more "oomph."

           

Ok, we know there's room for minimalism in pop music, but this is ridiculous. "Laffy Taffy" was a number one hit for southern hip hop group D4L during the mid 2000s, and for the life of us, we don't know why. Maybe it's that maddening synth which hammers into the listener's brain, or  D4L's seemingly endless list of confectionery references. Whatever the case, "Laffy Taffy" is best left forgotten as not only one of 2005's worst hip hop hits, but one of the genre's most embarrassing hits of all time.      

#2: "Disco Duck" (1976) Rick Dees & His Cast of Idiots

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  "Disco Duck" wasn't the only disco track to hit number one during the dance crazy 1970s, but it's certainly one of the strangest. Rick Dees was a Memphis based disc jockey when he wrote this bizarro novelty song, and followed the timeless recipe of adding a group of groovy backup singers and a Donald Duck vocal to a generic disco beat and voila! Instant chart success. It may seem strange to think today that such a lame cash grab could, at one point, be the number one song in the US, but then, there were also a lot of drugs going around at the time... so there's that.   Before we  name our number one pick, here are a few honorable (or is that dishonorable?) mentions!  


Before we get to our number one pick, here are a few honorable (or is that dishonorable?) mentions! 


"Whistle" (2012) Flo Rida             "This is Why I'm Hot" (2007) Mims      "It Wasn't Me" (2000) Shaggy feat. Ricardo "RikRok" Ducent     

#1: "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)" (1958) David Seville and the Chipmunks

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It's a holiday staple you either love or hate. But let's be honest: you probably hate this one. "The Chipmunk Song" was credited to David Seville and the Chipmunks, but this Billboard smash was written and performed by Ross Bagdasarian, Sr., who also handled the high pitched Chipmunk effects. Subtitled, "Christmas Don't Be Late", the track not only became a #1 hit, but, sadly, a seasonal tradition, which continued to chart years after its initial release. For some, however, just hearing "The Chipmunk Song" once a year is more than enough to last a lifetime.