Top 10 WORST Movies of 2017

After the success of “Straight Outta Compton” in 2015, it seemed like the perfect time for Tupac Shakur, Death Row Records’ most legendary alumni, to get his biopic turn on the big screen - especially after that nice little 2pac cameo in the aforementioned film. Sadly, despite what looked to be a relatively promising trailer, this movie failed to capture the energy that made its subject such a magnetic personality. Rotten Tomatoes has it as a “by-the-numbers biopic,” and quite frankly, that’s being a little kind. Shakur was a rapper who forced the world to pay attention. By contrast, this bland, and oftentimes downright bad biopic, was easy to put on ignore.

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is an audience magnet. Put him in your film and cinema-goers turn up; it’s usually as simple as that. So… considering this was a remake with name recognition, and boasted another easy-on-the-eyes star with a track record at the box office - that would be Zac Efron - this should’ve been a slam dunk (or whatever the lifeguarding equivalent would be). That’s what made this cinematic misstep such a biggie. Yes, it still made a profit, but well below expectations. Opening weekend projections were $40 million and it wound up at $27.7 - and that was over a 5 day opening weekend. Need we mention it was also torn apart by critics?

Be honest, were you even aware that this movie came out? Normally it would feel cruel to single out a horror movie considering the low standard of entry for the genre, but “Rings” comes from rather prestigious stock. When “The Ring” was released in 2002, it was the horror flick everyone was talking about: THE must-watch sleepover movie. It even satisfied critics - a true feat for the genre. Flash forward to 2017, and this third instalment of the franchise landed in theaters with a resounding thud. Despite earning 2nd place at the box office during its opening weekend, it received scathing reviews that criticized, well… everything, more than earned this film a spot on our list.

We love Dax Shepard’s antics with his wife and real-life comedic partner Kristen Bell as much as the next fan, but it’s been awhile since he’s really carried a film. CHiPs did not exactly help in this regard - especially when you consider that he wrote, directed and starred in it. Inspired by the formerly very popular ‘70s cop dramedy series of the same name, this adaptation was, quite simply, uninspired. It’s alright to have a textbook cop narrative as your foundation, so long as you build it up with quality comedy. But in the end, CHiPs was little more than rehash of film tropes we’ve seen before.

Have you read “The Circle” by Dave Eggers? It might not be “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius”, but it’s a captivating piece of genre fiction that explores the roles of technology, mega-corporations and social media in our modern lives. So imagine the excitement felt by readers when it was greenlit for a film adaptation starring Emma Watson, John Boyega and Tom Hanks. Though you’d be hard-pressed to find a stronger cast, these actors easily could have found a better film to star in. It suffered from a lack of clear tone and identity, delving into relevant questions but providing very little insight. Unsurprisingly, it also underperformed at the box office.

When fans have been waiting decades to see their favorite fantasy novel series brought to the screen… you better freaking deliver. “The Dark Tower” is considered by many to be Stephen King’s masterpiece, and, according to the writer himself, his magnum opus. It’s fiction so intricate that dedicated readers approach it with scholarly attention. We just wish that director Nikolaj Arcel and his creative team had shown it similar respect. “The Dark Tower” wastes the many talents of Idris Elba with its boring dimestore sci-fi fantasy tropes, poor writing and bland treatment of its source material. The fact that this movie was presented as a sequel, the continuation of King’s beloved epic rather than an adaptation, further enraged fans, for obvious reasons.

What’s worse than putting out a big-budget tentpole film with a tried-and-tested action star and having it flop? Doing all that with a movie that you’ve been hyping as the launchpad for an allegedly going-to-be-awesome “Shared Monster Universe”. Wait, the embarrassment goes deeper still, because this was Universal’s second try after the flop that was 2014’s already-forgotten “Dracula Untold”. Whether Universal pushes forward with their “Dark Universe” or not… there’s no denying that “The Mummy” was a disaster. Tom Cruise’s Nick Morton was unlikeable, and the film seemed more concerned with universe-building than making an enjoyable movie. Honestly, it left us aching for the simpler days of Brendan Fraser’s “Mummy”.

Just when you thought all these much-maligned box office juggernauts couldn’t get any worse, Michael Bay went ahead and further tarnished Optimus Prime’s reputation with . . . whatever the hell happened in this incomprehensible mess of a movie. For some reason, it involves King Arthur and ancient Transformers, who… you know what? Plot summary feels like a waste of time. Spoiler alert: critics abhorred the film. For once however, it seems as if cinemagoers were actually in agreement with the scribes. Though it did pull in over $600 million, that was actually considered an underperformance for the franchise. So, taking the typical “logic-be-damned… yay explosions!” Michael Bay approach, this installment proved that the “Transformers” formula may finally be faltering with the movie masses.

Oof. Honestly, the closer we get to our number one pick, the harder it becomes to talk about these films without feeling like a bully. But we must press on. In “Fifty Shades Darker,” stars Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson, who have both proven themselves to be far better than this franchise, return to the series where they so richly deserve the label of “the worst onscreen couple with the least chemistry ever”. Okay, yeah… it made money at the box office, and likely made some fans swoon and shake, but it also made critics and the rest of us lament the current state of cinema. Shoddily written and carelessly acted, this film hurts - and not in a fun sexy way.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions:



"The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature" (2017)



“King Arthur: Legend of the Sword” (2017)



“Snatched” (2017)



“The Book of Henry” (2017)

Just because something has become a fixture of modern pop life and culture doesn’t mean that you should turn it into a movie. Yes, emojis are relevant, but a film about them . . . is NOT. Like… we use toilet paper every day too, but no one’s trying to make a film about its daily life, are they? (We hope not, at least.) With a voice cast that includes TJ Miller, James Corden, Anna Faris, Patrick Stewart, Sofia Vergara and Christina Aguilera, “The Emoji Movie” seemed like your standard CGI-animated kids movie… but it was SO much more. Considered deeply unfunny and borderline insulting to the intelligence of child and adult cinemagoers alike, this surprisingly cynical film was unsurprisingly panned by critics.