Top 10 Reasons Eric Cartman Should Be Expelled
#10: He Gave Laxatives to Mr. Mackey & the Faculty “Bass to Mouth”
Wanting to prevent a student from committing suicide after he soiled his pants at school, the faculty unwisely looks to Cartman to come up with a solution. His plan, however, which involves causing another student to soil herself to distract from the first student, just leads to that student attempting suicide. To distract from that story, Cartman hatches a scheme to make the whole student body soil themselves. When that plan is in danger of being exposed, Mr. Mackey attempts to diffuse the situation by throwing Cartman under an actual bus. Enraged by the betrayal, Cartman gives Mr. Mackey cupcakes laced with powerful laxatives.
#9: He Went to School Dressed Up as an Infamous Dictator “Pinkeye”
Cartman decided to dress up as the notorious dictator in the hopes of winning the school’s Halloween costume contest. He took pride in the costume, claiming that his mom made it. Such a choice in costume is a red flag for a troubled student, especially one who is so openly anti-Semitic. When Principal Victoria noticed the costume, all she did was show Cartman a video which explained why it’s inappropriate to dress like Hitler and make him wear a ghost costume she hastily made. Unfortunately, that ghost costume was not an improvement, because it ended up looking like a hooded KKK robe.
#8: He Pooped on His Teacher’s Desk “Breast Cancer Show Ever”
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When Wendy challenges Cartman to a fight after school, he becomes scared of possibly getting beat up by a girl and has to figure a way to back out. After everything else he tried failed, the best solution Cartman comes up with is to get detention, which would make him unavailable to fight Wendy. With time running out before the school bell rings to let out class, Cartman decides the best way to get detention is to pull down his pants in front of the classroom and take a dump on Mr. Garrison’s desk. The plan works, and Cartman has to stay after school serving detention, which seems like a light sentence for something so gross.
#7: He Burned Down the School “Butt Out”
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After sitting through an obnoxious school assembly that was trying to teach kids not to smoke, Cartman and his friends decide to take up smoking so they wouldn’t end up like the performers at the assembly when they grow up. When they’re about to be caught by Mr. Mackey smoking on school grounds, they hide their cigarettes in a dumpster. However, the cigarettes weren’t properly put out, so a fire spreads and burns down the school. The boys get sent to the principal’s office where, in typical South Park logic, they aren’t in trouble for burning down the school, but for something which is less of a big deal: smoking.
#6: He Presented an Inappropriate Photograph of a Classmate to His Class “Cartman Sucks”
While Cartman was spending the night with Butters at a sleepover, he put Butters’ penis in his mouth and took a picture, mistakenly believing this act made Butters “gay.” When he told Stan, Kyle, and Kenny what he did, they told him the act made him “gay” and threatened to tell everyone what Cartman did. Paranoid that Kyle had gotten hold of the picture and intended to share it, Cartman decided to act preemptively and show a copy of the picture at “Show and Tell,” so he could disclose the photograph on his own terms. Not only is the photograph obscene, but since it was taken without Butter’s consent while he was asleep, it is also evidence of sexual assault.
#5: He Falsely Accused the Principal “Stunning and Brave”
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Upset that PC Principal gave him detention, Cartman decides to stand up to the new principal, the way his hero Tom Brady stood up to Commissioner Goodell during Deflategate. In a stunningly brazen move, Cartman confronts PC Principal in the bathroom, and blackmails the administrator, telling him that he’s going to falsely accuse the principal of molesting Butters unless the principal drops the detention and apologizes for his harsh discipline. PC Principal doesn’t seem to process Cartman’s accusations, though, instead focusing on his use of microaggressions. Although PC Principal should’ve been fired for beating up a student, Cartman’s actions also seem like grounds for expulsion.
#4: He Purposely Infected Kyle “Tonsil Trouble”
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After Cartman was diagnosed with HIV, he was mocked by Kyle, who thought he got a just punishment. Angered by Kyle’s reaction, Cartman decided to give Kyle the HIV virus to spite him. When Kyle figured out what Cartman did, he confronted Cartman during recess and beat him up. The two were taken to the principal’s office where Cartman was forced to apologize for infecting Kyle with HIV. While forcing someone to apologize is a stinging punishment to a child, giving someone a potentially deadly disease inarguably calls for stronger disciplinary action.
#3: He Was Indirectly Responsible for a Preschool Teacher Being Horribly Burned “Pre-School”
During a fateful day when Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were in preschool, the boys decide to play a game called “fireman,” which involves putting out a fire by peeing on it. Not knowing how to start a fire themselves, they convinced Trent Boyett, the class delinquent, to start a fire, promising him they would be able to put it out. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to put out the fire, and it ends up burning the preschool teacher horribly. Worse yet, Cartman and his friends didn’t take responsibility for causing the fire, pinning it all on Trent, which resulted in the child being sent to juvenile hall.
#2: He Channeled the Jigsaw Killer “Tsst”
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At the start of this episode, Cartman is sitting in Mr. Mackey’s office. We find out that Cartman’s in trouble because he handcuffed schoolmate Billy Turner to a flagpole. Then Cartman told Billy that he had poisoned Billy’s lunch milk, and the only way for Billy to reach the antidote was to cut through a hacksaw Cartman supplied him. This incident is reminiscent of the “Saw” movies, but unlike Jigsaw, Cartman wasn’t torturing Billy to help him grow as a person. Instead, he was mad at Billy for calling him “chubby.” It’s not clear whether Billy sawed through his leg or not. The only thing Mackey said was that Billy was recovering in the hospital. Before we reveal our number one pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions. He Pretended to Be Transgender So He Could Use the Girls' Bathroom “The Cissy” He Made His Presentation Project Very Offensive “Ginger Kids” He Sets Up Fights Between Students “Tweek vs. Craig” He Made Fun of Breast Cancer During Wendy's Presentation “Breast Cancer Show Ever” He Took Things Too Far as Hall Monitor “Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy”
#1: He Tricked Scott Tenorman “Scott Tenorman Must Die”
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There’s no better example of Cartman’s traits as a psychopath than the time he had Scott Tenorman’s parents killed so he could cut them up into chili and serve the remains to his enemy as an act of revenge. Although this wasn’t committed on school property, we have a hard time believing Cartman would be allowed near any of his fellow students after such a heinous deed. Not only is it disturbing behavior, but the fact that Cartman can dream up such an elaborate scheme yet struggle with his schoolwork shows how much of a slacker he is academically. If he applied him and hit the books, maybe he wouldn’t be such a problematic student.